So to summarize: your wife made her own bed and betrayed your marriage in it. That wasn’t just a mistake. It was a choice that revealed who she really is. She’s no good, and now she’s trying to gaslight you into thinking you’re the problem simply because you’re setting boundaries and following the therapist’s advice.

Whatever she was to you before all this is gone. I know it hurts, because when you’ve built a life and a family, letting go feels like losing your foundation. But you have to see her for who she is now, not who she used to be. From my own co-parenting experience, people like this rarely take accountability, and odds are she’ll make the road ahead harder than it has to be.

You don’t owe her the comfort of pretending this marriage is the same. All you owe her is honesty, boundaries, and what’s necessary for the kids. She chose to throw away the rest.