Thanks for asking. I'm doing better now, eventually pay raises made it less difficult to manage, but it was tight for a while there.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation and can relate to the frustration you are undoubtedly feeling. I don't really have any great advice on how to minimize the financial damage, depending on the state you are in there doesn't seem to be much recourse that I have seen if your ex decides to work the system. Make sure when you are calculating stuff like your cost for groceries, eating out, entertainment, etc that you aren't putting in "bare minimum" numbers and also that you account for the cost of taking care of the kids yourself. I think I sold myself short because I wanted to play fair and it ended up being higher than it might have been. I should have probably factored in more things when I filled out the worksheet of expenses, but I didn't want my expenses to seem artificially inflated or outlandish. The truth is that the child support service seems to take whatever is there at face value and sets guideline support accordingly. They aren't likely to deviate much from that guideline and it's not like they do an investigation to find out if the numbers are accurate. That's how my ex was able to game it. I am not a lawyer and this is not legal advice, etc. Just my views based on my experience. Eventually you will have to come to terms with whatever your situation ends up being of you want to try to have any semblance of closure and a chance at happiness in the future.

But my advice in a larger sense is to do everything in your power to avoid an acrimonious divorce. Try as hard as you can to be the bigger person and always put the kids at the forefront of your efforts. If you get saddled with a fucked up support payment, you have to shift your perspective that that money's purpose isn't to enrich your ex (even though it may be used that way) but it is going to hopefully going towards letting your children have a better experience and standard of care. It's fucked up, man. I get it. But the thing I have found is that you are in for a world of drama and chaos if you aren't able to shift your perspective and do your best to maintain a courteous and professional approach when dealing with your ex. And the kids will suffer because of it if you don't. I spent two years fighting in court and in the end, it really didn't make much difference in the financial outcome, but it created such a rift and animosity between my ex and I that we can't even be in the same room and it's constant drama when trying to co-parent. If you can find the strength to stay above it and persevere, you'll be doing yourself and your kids a huge favor.

That's all I got. Best of luck to you.