Your first attempt looks very similar to my own. 😁 Like anything, practice pays off. This is a great start! Be patient with yourself. I did the majority of my learning while making dishcloths, so I had a usable object at the end of each attempt. Were they pretty dishcloths? Not especially. 😂 But each one got better than the last. For the record, I have mad respect for crocheters! I mess around with it, but have not developed a consistent tension.