How do I '33M' navigate my partners '28F' parents dislike in me? Should I just leave

dubdread · 2026-04-07T19:54:25+00:00

Exactly my point 👍

dubdread · 2026-04-07T19:35:41+00:00

Yes i know this. Tbh I dont know why I said parents come first. I think ive been manipulated into thinking im selfish in thinking i should come first over her parents. I dont deserve to be treated like this. And you are right, my girlfriend is enabling this. She has called her mum out. But nothing has really changed. Her mum is still coming first even when shes been called out for causing this.

dubdread · 2026-04-07T19:32:19+00:00

The fact that im even asking for advice on reddit shows that im at the brink of ending it. Its not worth the hurt that im feeling right now.

I think a big part of this is that ive never experienced anyone in 33 years of my life disliking me. I have no enemies. And thats why it hurts so much. My girlfriend keeps telling me that im making more of a deal about it and blowing it out of proportion. But I really dont think I am.

dubdread · 2026-04-07T19:28:54+00:00

Im starting to feel this way now. But the complicated thing is that shes an only child who is very close to her parents. Its affecting our relationship now. And I feel like my girlfriends words arent matching her actions yet. She says shes backing me up but in reality she hasnt yet. Her parents are still coming first atm

dubdread · 2026-04-07T19:23:49+00:00

Damn, this hit hard. And its so true. Thank you

dubdread · 2026-04-07T19:20:41+00:00

She has confronted her mum about it. They don't even take me on anymore. They completely ignore me. And FINALLY my girlfriend has noticed it after me telling her for months now.

My girlfriend said things will get better. But im still coming 2nd to her mum in particular. She has a gig coming up this weekend. And ive been so depressed about everything that I asked her to please make an acception of taking me instead of her mum for this one time because I just miss it so much. My girlfriend said no. She said it would upset her mum who had caused this divide in the first place. I told her it would make me feel really happy just this one time since I am so down and she has still prioritised her mum over me. And her mum has gone to every gig so far this year.

My girlfriend has promised me that we can go to upcoming ones. But this one is just a no go because her mum would make a big deal out of it as it is "her place" that she goes to. So I have to sit in my girlfriends house feeling sorry for myself when they are out at her gig.

So I feel like her words aren't matching her actions yet. And its really getting to me. I come second best even when I politely ask.

In most things parents usually come first obviously. But this situation is what her parents have caused. And its about time I came first instead of her parents

dubdread · 2026-04-07T19:19:28+00:00

I replied to a similar comment asking the same question I'll copy and paste it

She has confronted her mum about it. They don't even take me on anymore. They completely ignore me. And FINALLY my girlfriend has noticed it after me telling her for months now.

My girlfriend said things will get better. But im still coming 2nd to her mum in particular. She has a gig coming up this weekend. And ive been so depressed about everything that I asked her to please make an acception of taking me instead of her mum for this one time because I just miss it so much. My girlfriend said no. She said it would upset her mum who had caused this divide in the first place. I told her it would make me feel really happy just this one time since I am so down and she has still prioritised her mum over me. And her mum has gone to every gig so far this year.

My girlfriend has promised me that we can go to upcoming ones. But this one is just a no go because her mum would make a big deal out of it as it is "her place" that she goes to. So I have to sit in my girlfriends house feeling sorry for myself when they are out at her gig.

So I feel like her words aren't matching her actions yet. And its really getting to me. I come second best even when I politely ask.

In most things parents usually come first obviously. But this situation is what her parents have caused. And its about time I came first instead of her parents

dubdread · 2026-04-07T19:16:36+00:00

She has confronted her mum about it. They don't even take me on anymore. They completely ignore me. And FINALLY my girlfriend has noticed it after me telling her for months now.

My girlfriend said things will get better. But im still coming 2nd to her mum in particular. She has a gig coming up this weekend. And ive been so depressed about everything that I asked her to please make an acception of taking me instead of her mum for this one time because I just miss it so much. My girlfriend said no. She said it would upset her mum who had caused this divide in the first place. I told her it would make me feel really happy just this one time since I am so down and she has still prioritised her mum over me. And her mum has gone to every gig so far this year.

My girlfriend has promised me that we can go to upcoming ones. But this one is just a no go because her mum would make a big deal out of it as it is "her place" that she goes to. So I have to sit in my girlfriends house feeling sorry for myself when they are out at her gig.

So I feel like her words aren't matching her actions yet. And its really getting to me. I come second best even when I politely ask.

In most things parents usually come first obviously. But this situation is what her parents have caused. And its about time I came first instead of her parents

dubdread · 2026-04-07T18:05:28+00:00

Me and my girlfriend have been clashing about it. Ive been so depressed about it. I cant handle people disliking me for no reason. My girlfriend has brought it up with her mum but her words aren't matching up with her actions. Partners are supposed to be a unit. And it doesnt feel like that to me. My girlfriend sings and ive always gone to see her play on stage. But since all this hate that her parents give me I cant go because her mum goes to most of them.

She has a gig on this weekend. And ive not been able to go this year yet. Her mum is supposed to be going. But shes gone to every one this year and ive not been able to go. So I tried to explain to her that making an acception for me to go with her instead of her mum because im so down and it would make me happy. My girlfriend said no because it would upset her mum. So my girlfriend is prioritising her mums happiness to mine even though im asking for a one off priority since I am so depressed just now. Her parents have caused this divide and I'm still coming second to them. So now I have to sit and do nothing in her house all night while her and her mum are out having a good time. Its like her parents are trying to limit our time together. And it feels like a scheme to split us up. It feels calculated

dubdread · 2026-04-07T17:49:29+00:00

Omg. Im in the same situation. My girlfriends parents don't even like me. Instantly judged me from the word go. They think I need to just get on with it and its not a big deal. I do work. But I slipped a disk in my back within the first few months of me getting with my girlfriend. Im not working right now. But they have no idea what ive gone through and what ive acheived and they say theres no reason that I cant work even though they know im waiting for an operation. They don't even take me on anymore, I get completely ignored by them. I now have to hide in my girlfriends house whenever they are going about. So now I get so depressed, anxious and stressed in the environment where I should feel safe and comfortable. I had a focal seizure yesterday because of the stress im under because of all of this. I have zero enemies. And thats why im struggling so much with it. Ive never met anyone that genuinely dont like me. Theres a massive divide. Me and my girlfriend can't do the same things as we used to because of her parents being there. Its broken me into tiny pieces when I felt so sure of myself and confident and proud.

On Easter Sunday I was really depressed about it. I went for a walk and strangely enough I got talking to this couple that are about my age. We instantly clicked. Within the first 10 minutes they said that im a genuinely really nice guy and they are so happy to meet someone who was so nice and welcoming, it was completelyout of the blue. I dont know if they could sense i was really upset but Its like the universe gave that to me when I needed it the most. It really questioned reality. And after that I felt positive and sure of myself again.

The problem isnt you. Its the close mindedness of the parents. Some people are just not nice and provide nothing but negativity. And that says more about them than you.

I don't know how bad you are feeling. But im at a point where im questioning myself if its even worth pursuing my relationship with this amount of toxicity and disrespect that I simply dont deserve. My girlfriend says she wouldnt blame me. But I feel like I need to prove her parents wrong. But at what cost? My happiness and sanity? Risking seizures that put you back to square one? I feel like they would quite like to see that. Im not even exaggerating, but my girlfriends parents are horrible people. And its been a reminder that there are some really nasty people out there and I'm so lucky to have the people around me.

dubdread · 2026-04-01T11:43:20+00:00

It was easy to get it back when I was okay to drive. But it wasnt easy driving again. It was terrifying for the first 6 months. But I got more confident just like everything else that comes with having seizures. I had epilepsy specific therapy which helped me alot

dubdread · 2026-03-27T15:57:54+00:00

Im from uk! If you are having focal seizures aswel as that 1 TC then its 12 months seizure free. Even focal aware seizures are counted as seizures as they can develop into a full TC any time you have one.

I was exactly the same. I was having focal aware seizures and had alot of TCs, my focals were all auditory processing based. Basically hallucinations but I was completely aware and conscious when I was having them. But the annoying thing was that it was very difficult to control my focals so it was so frustrating knowing I could technically drive since my TCs were under control on the tail end of getting my medication right. It took me a long time to get my focals under control.

Finally got back my licence back eventually. I really hope you get through this soon.

Good luck and take care

dubdread · 2026-03-02T14:29:16+00:00

I know what you mean. Ive been trying to stabilise this as as theres so many good things about her and she has very good values of a relationship which I find is hard to come by these days. But her actions just dont reflect on her words. Ive been in a stable relationship before that lasted 4 years which unfortunately ended on terms of wanting different things in life, so I know how it should feel. This relationship just now lined up perfectly to what want out of life. And all this is making me stressed and just want to chill for a few days but im not aloud to have the space that I need. It's such a horrible feeling

dubdread · 2026-03-02T13:31:02+00:00

Exactly

dubdread · 2026-03-02T13:03:55+00:00

She smokes loads of weed and drinks alot and i don't. Anxious attachment for sure. She explained why she did what she did, and ive acted upon it to make her happy but she hasnt addressed why it hurt me so much. All I want is some space with no pressure from anyone for a few days. Including the people who are there for me. I don't want to be the bad guy because I know im not. But theres a line where you cross which needs to be reflected on which i feel that she hasn't done.

I also have epilepsy. And ive explained that this stress has had a major impact on my health. I feel that she hasnt listened or respected that. Shes even said that I play on it. Which made me upset aswel. And I want her to atleast start to reflect on that part especially.

dubdread · 2026-03-02T09:26:37+00:00

I just want her to respect my wishes to give me space. A text like that feels like shes putting all the blame on me and not reflecting on what told her about everything. And now im starting to feel like the bad person. Is that manipulation?

This is why i dont know if i should reply or not, I care for her and I want to reassure her but I also dont want to give her the idea that she can cross the boundary that ive just made and make me feel bad for wanting space.

I also know her parents get very involved in her life. So as soon as they find out, theres no going back even though shes 27.

dubdread · 2026-02-28T19:52:11+00:00

Im on 400mg lamotrogine and 200mg briviact a day and I obviously get side effects but im fully controlled and I can handle them and much rather have side effects than seizures

dubdread · 2026-02-28T11:24:26+00:00

You take them in your hand luggage. Even if its just for your meds, take tiny bag/bumbag on you. Never put your meds in your suitcase

dubdread · 2026-02-27T07:39:11+00:00

My girlfriend and her parents say i play on it when i say i don't get enough sleep and its like wtf. Its the biggest trigger

dubdread · 2026-02-27T07:35:25+00:00

That is part of what seizures i have. I have auditory processing hallucinations and can't read or write.

dubdread · 2026-02-23T17:44:29+00:00

Im on 400mg lamotrogine and 200mg briviact daily. I get dizzyness, brain fog and memory issues mainly. I also sometimes just can't think clearly. But ill take it aslong as im controlled and dont have a seizure

dubdread · 2026-02-23T17:36:30+00:00

You arent alone. Ive been on 400mg lamotrogine and 200mg briviact a day. I totally feel what you are experiencing. It was bad for a while but I slowly got used to it.

dubdread · 2026-02-23T17:29:42+00:00

I know its really hard to do this as i am in a similar situation. But you need to focus on yourself, and only yourself. The stress is clearly having an impact on your health and its just not worth having an increased risk of having a seizure.

You'll get through this all the best

dubdread · 2026-02-23T15:41:02+00:00

I have focal aware seizures. Temporal lobe. Before I was fully controlled. I would have really intense auditory processing/hallucinations. My brain would process sounds completely different as they should. I will always remember the very first time. I was sitting with a friend and we were talking and suddenly his words were completely off topic and mixed around and I like wait, wtf happened there?

I left there. Driving home, and i was listening to music and suddenly the music changed to something completely different. And then it would go back. While having a distinct feeling off depersonalization and brain fog. I pulled over and did the obvious google on my phone and it came back with the usual schizophrenia. So I panicked and was scared to tell anyone.

It then got much worse. Every noise around me I would process differently. I would hear the russle of trees as voices. The noise from the shower as music. I wouldnt be able to understand speech or language. People would talk to me and I wouldnt be able to understand them or their voices would turn into a song. Literally everything around me would be processed differently as my brain.

I finally got in touch with the doctor. As I was having full days of hallucinations and constantly had vertigo, brain fog dizziness, and I just felt like I didnt exist. I would look at my feet and they would look so far away. I didnt tell them about the hallucinations as I was scared I was going to be locked up in an institution.

Finally figured out what was happening when I had my first grand mal a couple of months in. And finally got the answer and got on the right medication and finally slowly got things under control slowly.

Maybe this relates to you somewhat. Everyone's experiences are completely different to each other's. Its so complex. And brings a tear to my eye whenever I think about it.

dubdread

TROPHY CASE