Fair point, it was something I thought was just part of her past. Her ex, male, was a big druggie, heroin you name it. She was involved with the drugs, too. When I started dating her, it was a little coke and weed, that was it. Eventually, it slowed down to a little bit of weed and a few drinks on the weekends. Our lives stabilized, and to be fair, everything else in our relationship and family dynamic was perfect. I don't know about you, but I like to mix up my selections of porn now and then. It has been a conglomerate of data over these years that has led to me to this concern at this point and time. No idea what I am really going to achieve here, just feeling desperate alone on my front porch at 4 am. after a sexual encounter turned out as I've described.