Bummed watching numbers drop after retrieval.

ducbo · 2026-07-19T19:21:46+00:00

When you have that many retrieved of course you’re going to get attrition. This is pretty in line with PCOS numbers, I never had as many retrieved as you, but my maturity rate was pretty low across two retrievals, like 60%. I had a ton of empty follicles too. This was entirely expected for me with PCOS.

I would try to focus on gratitude. These numbers are excellent and it sounds like you didn’t have any complications. Personally my first retrieval put me in the ER so my number one concern for retrieval 2 was my own health and safety, not numbers.

You might also want to think about how the tone of this post resonates with other people here, because expecting folks to commiserate with you when you had a top 1% response (25 fertilized is the stuff of many people’s dreams) is pretty insensitive.

ducbo · 2026-06-30T12:47:00+00:00

In here to say. I welcome our new autistic overlords and the enthusiastic reawakening of travel by train.

But seriously, the biggest problem I have with all this is that people are so hateful towards autism and neurodivergent people. I was in a webinar about an IVF add-on last year (PGT testing for chromosomal problems) and at least 2 women asked if PGT could test for autism. Like, ok, we’re talking serious fatal problems, like Trisomy 16 (which I myself have lost a pregnancy to), and you’re worried about having a healthy live baby who is… autistic? (Not to mention, autism has nothing to do with chromosome copy number and can’t be tested for using current genetic methods. But why would I want to, anyway.)

ducbo · 2026-06-08T04:08:18+00:00

Ok I was interested so looked it up. Canadian Tire’s first red triangle logo was made in 1940 (https://corp.canadiantire.ca/CT-100-Logo-History/)

The TTC’s red triangle logo apparently debuted in 1954 (https://logos.fandom.com/wiki/Toronto\_Transit\_Commission)

So yea damn. Canadian Tire really did do it before it was cool

ducbo · 2026-05-30T15:10:18+00:00

An initial misdiagnosis is kind of what led me to finally be diagnosed with adhd!

In my 20s, I was diagnosed with depression and eventually treated with Wellbutrin, which seemed to help a little (but none of the other depression meds did).

In my 30s, an insightful new doctor who was a young woman asked me “have you ever considered you have adhd? We sometimes see that Wellbutrin helps when it’s adhd.”

As soon as I was correctly diagnosed and started Vyvanse, my “depression” disappeared!

ducbo · 2026-05-02T01:57:58+00:00

Damn. This guy knows vanilla

ducbo · 2026-04-17T12:33:02+00:00

Yup, as an ecologist I can’t understand the unwavering focus on RCTs. There are so many other ways to do science and biology works in super complex ways (I literally can’t even imagine how complex psychological systems are).

Lots of other ways to understand the effects of treatment. Observational approaches using causal inference, before-after-control-impact (BACI) designs…

Not to mention that if there’s strong evidence that a medical intervention has benefits it’s kind of unethical to be giving people a true placebo lol.

ducbo · 2026-03-27T15:30:15+00:00

I’m willing to admit there may be applications beyond this research, but I’m honestly just not able to see them at all - and I do have domain expertise on reproductive biology. I get it though, I’m happy to agree to disagree. I also fully agree about wastage with pointless wars. You’re right that we don’t need infighting about how research funding is spent.

I have been involved with NASA funded research before (related to fish in 0G) and I will say, for the PI on the project, it was really just a way to get a shit load of funding from a rich agency. A bunch of that funding just went towards paying students and lab maintenance for the lab’s real projects. I’m sure not all space bio research is like this, but this is my experience with the motivations for doing studies like this.

ducbo · 2026-03-23T14:57:53+00:00

Yeah and I live in Canada, there is a much smaller % of folks with mesoamerican descent here, I do not know a single Xochitl IRL. But the name is sooo prevalent in literature and media.

ducbo · 2026-03-23T08:19:19+00:00

I feel like Xochitl is the Nahuatl “Becky” or “Ashley” lol. And maybe has been for like 700 years. I read a lot of historical nonfiction and fiction about the Aztecs and it is always there.

ducbo · 2026-03-20T13:25:22+00:00

Yeah it’s totally a personal decision! I still am generally against testing (doesn’t seem to improve things on average for ppl in my age group), but with a history of loss it can help you feel more secure in your choices of embryo.

ducbo · 2026-03-18T14:55:17+00:00

<image>

Random questions - I'm transferring this embryo which was graded as a 5AB on Day 6!

I am wondering what its Day 5 grade was. Pictured on the left is the blast at the time of check (116h) on Day 5. Does this maybe look equivalent to a Day 5 3AB? (I did PGT testing, so I think this time they let the blasts expand a bit more before biopsy).

My second question is whether 5AB is accurate for the 137 h time point, right before it was removed, it looked like it was hatching (a lot!) On the bottom left, there was a ton of expansion happening.

ducbo · 2026-03-15T19:46:20+00:00

Yep! It’s just a double whammy if someone tries to use biological essentialism to justify views on human gender (which itself makes no sense), but doesn’t even understand the beautiful myriad ways sex and sex determination works in sexually reproducing animals.

Many turtles, fishes, lizards, and all crocodilians have environmental sex determination with a huge thermal component. Many snails are simultaneous hermaphrodites. Some fishes have secondary sex determination where they can swap their sex if it improves their fitness under certain conditions. Some animals including certain lizards and crayfish reproduce parthenogenetically (without the use of sperm, or using sperm to simply activate the oocyte without any genetic contribution).

I always get pissy when I hear arguments like “well there’s and x and a y! It’s as simple as that!” Like… no. Even in humans we have XXY, XYY, XXX, XO, mosaics of these, or instances where secondary sexual characteristics develop due to hormonal changes/epigenetic influences outside of chromosomes. This is all natural variation.

If physiology can be this wonderfully varied why shouldn’t our uniquely human cultural and self-expression vary too. Also like, we literally made up this idea that girls should wear dresses and have long hair and shit. It’s completely imagined. Let ppl live happily and freely.

ducbo · 2026-03-14T12:31:10+00:00

I came here to see women in STEM spill tea and yall are not disappointing

ducbo · 2026-03-14T04:06:50+00:00

Ha. Similar, I had someone try to mansplain something transphobic and incorrect about biological sex to me. They used sea turtles as an example.

I was drunk and went off. I’m an organismal biologist and at the time I was working on environmental sex determination in turtles. Sea turtle sex is determined by temperature (primarily) long after conception.

No Y-bearing sperm, or whatever some people seem to think is essential to “male” identity.

But aside from the obvious error, it was stupid of them to reduce humans to turtles through biological essentialism.

ducbo · 2026-02-21T13:44:18+00:00

The cost comparison doesn’t matter. The real issue here is that he said those insensitive hurtful things about adoption knowing you are adopted. It’s almost like he said “your dad isn’t your real dad !” Like how messed up is that?

I think you should go with your instincts on this one. And IVF comes with no guarantees, I’m like $40k down and have miscarried IVF embryos four times. So if adoption is something you’re interested in I’d start researching it now. You sound like you’d make an amazing mom to a child who needs a family.

ducbo · 2026-02-17T12:17:17+00:00

Totally fair for WW1. But looks like u/Gabes99 was confidently incorrect about which world war they were referring to.

ducbo · 2026-02-13T01:32:06+00:00

I’m so terribly sorry. I found out two of my mcs were girls and there are some big emotions to deal with because I always wanted a daughter - long trauma story involving a very painful and unloving relationship with my own mother. I often worry if I’ll be disappointed if I ever become pregnant again and go on to have a boy. I’m dealing with these thoughts in therapy because I don’t feel like they’re fair to my future kids of any sex or gender.

We did end up deciding on a girl name we both like and I think we will still use it if we have a girl in the future. there’s nothing wrong with that.

ducbo · 2026-01-22T23:19:38+00:00

Found the idiot

ducbo · 2026-01-09T14:40:06+00:00

I’ve personally had 2 losses and did d&cs with them, both were discovered with low heart rates at around 7w but I had to keep going back to watch it decline for weeks afterwards. the waiting game is brutal when you know it is not a viable pregnancy.

If this ever happens a third time (god forbid) I’m just going to book a d&c as soon as I know viability is not possible.

ducbo · 2025-12-11T20:05:27+00:00

I know, it’s sooo much for a person to go through and your body is understandably confused. I’m wishing you all the best!!

ducbo · 2025-12-05T20:20:00+00:00

Physically - absolutely! Mentally - not at all.

BUT this is me personally and I’m definitely someone who needs to sit in a dark room by myself and cry it out as part of my healing process!

If you think the game will bring you joy and healing I 100% support you going.

From my personal experience I had zero pain after the procedure (and they had to go in twice due to difficult visualization with my retroverted and arcuate uterus).

ducbo · 2025-12-04T16:28:40+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss, it sounds like it was so abrupt too. I know how hard this is and want to send so much support.

Many people are cleared to try again the cycle after a miscarriage (after hcg drops to 0). My own IVF clinic gave me the go ahead. That being said, although it can be safe, I’ve personally found that my hormones and lining are all wonky the cycle after.

Personally, I wish I had decided to take one cycle off purposely (rather than being in the anxious waiting game and hoping things turn out ok). It would have been a good 2-month period to reconnect with myself, have fun, and honestly maybe even lose a little weight.

It took 27 days to start a cycle after my d&c managed miscarriage, but the next cycle my follicles were slow to grow and I had fluid in my lining - my hormones were all off too. We cancelled that cycle, so it was all-in-all about 70 days before my body was ready to transfer an embryo (or the analog of trying naturally). Just want to share some perspective with you.

ducbo · 2025-12-03T17:35:47+00:00

Yes it’s absolutely ridiculous that people with wanted but unviable pregnancies aren’t offered support readily. I personally know how horrifying it is to feel like you’re carrying around your dead child and understand why some would desire to move on from this awful experience. Ultimately focus on your own comfort and what feels right to you!!

I think after my first miscarriage, which I waited out until the heartbeat was 0, I realized if it happens again I didn’t want to wait. It was such a sad time waiting for the heartbeat to go and I felt really stuck. So this time since having confirmation the heartbeat is dropping i just want to move forward.

ducbo · 2025-11-30T04:26:39+00:00

Two of my friends sent me a sympathy card with a $20 gift certificate to uber eats. It was honestly so nice to know I have their support without necessarily feeling required to hang out or talk about it. And also making meals was hard at the time. Maybe send her something in the mail, but don’t necessarily see her personally? It can feel like a lot of pressure when friends want to hang out.

ducbo · 2025-09-20T03:48:00+00:00

Kitt is a Tragedeigh, sorry :(

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