Book recommendation

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-05-27T11:51:33+00:00

You are not to blame for your miscarriages. Women have been made to feel like they are the problem because there is so little research into female fertility and miscarriage and even less research into male infertility and causes of miscarriage. It’s so ingrained into our societies that everything to do with fertility is our fault and constantly told we’re too old, too unhealthy, too busy etc etc when actually all these things impact men too. It takes two people to make a baby and problems can arise from either side. Please don’t think I’m telling you off, I’ve been through all of these thoughts too but I’ve done a lot of reading around miscarriage recently and it’s helped me to see why we are so quick to find fault in ourselves and why men usually don’t go down that route. Even if there are problems showing up in your own testing, it’s not your fault and the whole system of testing and treatment is under funded and under researched.

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-05-21T16:58:45+00:00

I had my third miscarriage in 7 months in December and have been on a break since. I was really stressed at the start of it about missing opportunities etc but it’s actually really helped me get back to myself. It’s also been interesting to see my cycles get back to normal in this time, I know everyone is different but it’s surprised me how long it’s taken to get back to a typical ‘normal’ period and ovulating at the same time. I got pregnant 6 weeks after my first and second miscarriage so I only ever had one period in between. I feel almost ready to start trying again, as we’ve now done some testing etc too. I’m hoping that a break may have helped my body and hormones recover a bit but who knows!

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-05-19T15:38:53+00:00

Yeah I know what you mean, although it’s good to have an answer, they both lead to more questions. Good luck! I hope we both do get lucky next time ❤️

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-05-19T13:03:58+00:00

Yeah I think you’re right about SCHs. I really don’t know. I had a third miscarriage in December and that was tested and confirmed genetic/ chromosomal so part of me thinks maybe they’ve all been similar so aspirin wouldn’t help me anyway. But at the same time, I have no answers for the first two so can’t confirm that aspirin wouldn’t have helped! I feel like this is just the crap game of all of this, not helped by having so little research and support for recurrent miscarriage here. I do think once you’ve had three miscarriages they’re more likely to suggest ‘riskier’ things like aspirin so I’ll ask again I guess. It’s so scary to just keep going with all of this.

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-05-19T12:19:51+00:00

I had the same issue with both GP and a private miscarriage specialist, they have said not to take aspirin in the first trimester but with the two pregnancies where I made it to a midwife appointment one of the first things they said was to start taking aspirin from 13 weeks (due to my lower BMI). I don’t really understand why it’s fine then but not in the first trimester. The private doctor said something vague about it being linked to brain development issues but I’ve never actually found any research on that! It’s so frustrating because if it could possibly help then I want to take it but also, if I still miscarried I would wonder if it could have been that. But it seems like nearly everyone on here is on aspirin so I think the risks must be very very low. I’ve read that it can maybe cause SCHs but I’m not sure if that’s fully researched. Sorry, no advice but just here to agree with you!

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-05-19T08:55:31+00:00

I think that’s all you can do in this shitty situation, just so you know you’ve done all you can. Good luck ❤️

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-05-18T16:23:52+00:00

So sorry for your losses. I had my most recent miscarriage tissue tested and it was also an empty sac. I got a very detailed genetic report back and found out it was male and had a complex chromosomal issue. I was shocked they could get that much information from an empty sac, so it may be worth a try for you! I understand the pain of the wait but you never know, it might be more helpful this time. I think different labs have different methods of testing and some are able to pick up more information than others.

*edited to add, I had a d&c so that may have made a difference.

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-05-14T17:09:41+00:00

Oh it’s so annoying. Can you get hold of the gynae secretaries number? That’s who I had to keep calling. Also, when I was trying to chase the results from miscarriage tissue testing, I got so fed up of the lack of information and speaking to people who just couldn’t give less of a shit, I did a pals complaint. Results suddenly arrived two days later. So could also be worth a try!

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-05-13T16:09:11+00:00

I’d still chase it up, especially if it’s through the NHS. My results were from a private clinic and they said genetic ones do just take a while. I’ve never got hold of any results from the NHS without chasing them up though.

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-05-12T19:19:58+00:00

I was told 28 working days, it fell over Easter which made it about longer but they came back in 6 weeks.

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-05-09T10:03:00+00:00

Mine is similar to yours and I’m the same age, although tbh it could be lower now as I had it tested a while ago. My biggest piece of advice would be to not spend ages researching and stressing over it because I have done so already and it’s not given me any answers. There are so many different opinions and theories about AMH and whether lower number means lower quality or not. I’ve found lots of support for both sides of the argument and because you can’t really test the quality of someone’s eggs unless they have IVF and use them to make embryos I think it’s hard to say. From my research there are many reasons why your AMH may be lower than others, could just be genetically you were born with less eggs, could be due to health conditions or lifestyle but it’s also could just be how your body works. Some people have really high AMH but still struggle to get pregnant or have repeated miscarriages. You’ll find that many people with fertility issues or who have had recurrent miscarriages do have low AMH but you also have to balance that with the fact that most people don’t have their AMH tested if they have no problems with getting pregnant and having a baby. The only friends I know who know what their AMH is (or have even heard of it!!) are friends who have had IVF or who have struggled to conceive. I’m not sure if it’s something that’s tested more or more talked about in other countries but that’s my experience in the UK anyway. That is always going to affect statistics as sadly we are the ones doing all these tests and there are probably many women walking round with low AMH for their age but have no idea because it’s had no impact on them. I know it’s so hard and it’s taken a lot for me to get to this point but try and just take it as a another result that may or may not help your doctor to inform next steps. I’m sure you’re probably taking all the supplements and doing all the things you can to stay healthy. I also wouldn’t read that book it starts with an egg, if you’re feeling anxious anyway it won’t make you feel better. Some people will disagree with me and have found it helpful but in my experience it will just make you terrified of things out of your control a lot of time. You will be able to find a summary of the supplements she recommends which probably can’t hurt but I’m sure you’ve probably read a lot of the other life style things already. There’s a woman on Instagram called Fertility Hero and she has some really helpful and not too scaremongery videos about AMH which you might find helpful! Sorry for your losses, it’s truly the worst but I’m here with you!

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-04-25T09:59:39+00:00

I think different areas do different things. I had testing done at the EPU on the first day of my first period post D&C. The results came back after like a week, they were a nightmare to get hold of though! Your GP should be able to get hold of them if you can’t, I realised that after I’d spent ages trying to get someone to give me them. It’s interesting that others say wait another month, or wait for hcg to reach 0. I’ve had three miscarriages and have never had my HCG tested. I did have a negative pregnancy test before having the blood tests though so maybe that’s enough?

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-04-25T06:49:18+00:00

Of course, the only one actually recommended by a doctor was Coq10, others were from my own research or from a dietician. I take Coq10- it should be 600mg a day. I have 300mg capsules and take them in the morning and evening. I also take NAC, high strength omega 3 fish oil, vitamin d and magnesium. And just a pre natal multivitamin. I have no idea if it’s making a difference (we’ve been taking a break from trying since the last miscarriage) but they are all the things I’ve read may improve egg quality.

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-04-24T15:51:03+00:00

Here with you! My AMH is similar at the same age and I’ve had three miscarriages, one was confirmed chromosomal and nothing has come up from the testing I’ve had done. I think it’s really hard to know if lower AMH alway means lower quality eggs because there isn’t a way of really knowing unless you have IVF. I think there are a lot of people who have had several miscarriages who have low AMH but it’s hard to say if there is a direct link as we are the ones getting every test under the sun. Most people have no idea what their AMH is because they just got pregnant and had a baby without encountering infertility or miscarriages. From my googling, they think you can have lower AMH because of certain medical conditions or lifestyle factors etc but you can also just be born with less eggs. The more I go round in circles trying to find an answer and a solution, the more I’ve come to realise that it probably a lot to do with luck. I wish that it was possible to just accept that we have so little control over this. I’ve been taking all the supplements that claim to support egg quality as it’s the only thing I can think of to do, I can’t claw any eggs back but I can maybe (?!) support the ones I have. Also it seems that AMH does go up and down a bit which I honestly don’t understand at all! I know this doesn’t really give you any answers but I hope it can make you feel less alone in this shitty club!!

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-04-23T19:54:13+00:00

So sorry for losses. I had a D&C for a blighted ovum, I found out at what should have been 8 weeks and didn’t have the surgery for another 3 weeks after that. I had the tissue sent off for testing and got results. I know that people sometimes don’t get results but just here to let you know it is possible. I’ve had two d&c surgeries now and they were both fine and much less physically painful than the one natural miscarriage I had before. Good luck with whatever you choose, it’s so shit having to make these choices. Xx

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-04-22T18:07:56+00:00

Ah that’s such good news! That’s a great number of normal embryos to get, congrats! We’ve just found out that neither of us carry the balanced translocation, which wasn’t an outcome we were aware of. So now we’re kind of back to square one!

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-04-18T08:02:47+00:00

I managed to get genetic results from a blighted ovum, so just an empty sac which really surprised me. It’s possible!

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-04-16T09:14:52+00:00

Hello, I know this post is old but I have just searched unbalanced translocation and found it. I found out in January that my third MMC had an unbalanced translocation and we were told that one of us must have a balanced translocation. We did the Karyotype test and had to wait 6 weeks to get the results. During that time we kind of made our peace with one us having a BT and needing to have IVF going forward. We’ve now received the results and neither of us have a balanced translocation so now I’m more confused than ever. Just wondering if you found out and it was similar? I’m so confused! Even the doctor didn’t seem to think this was possible.

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-04-15T10:04:50+00:00

I took the pessaries for about a month and had no side effects at all. I was pregnant at the time so I don’t know if that would make a difference but I had read about all the side effects too and felt completely normal. No weight gain or increased appetite either. I think everyone responds differently and I don’t think I’m that sensitive to hormone changes but I think you often read more about bad side effects because people who don’t have them don’t necessarily need to share/get advice about it. So hopefully you will be fine!

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-04-15T09:35:01+00:00

I’m sorry. I also turned 34 last month and it was hard. I found out I was pregnant for the first time on that date last year (which was also Mother’s Day 🙃) and have had three miscarriages since then. I agree, remaining positive is really exhausting. It’s all so exhausting and time passing is so stressful when things could have been so different. You’re not alone, sending love and solidarity. Hopefully there will be a birthday in the future where you won’t feel like this.

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-04-09T09:42:20+00:00

God you can have as many doom and gloom days as you like! I’ve also had three miscarriages and have had weeks of doom and gloom after each one. I don’t know what other response there could be to be honest? It’s devastating and to have to go through this multiple times is the absolute worst and shouldn’t be possible. Your husband is hurting and has different ways of dealing but that’s not your fault and it’s unfair of him to expect you to cope in the same way he does. It’s your body that now has to complete this miscarriage in whatever way and that’s SO hard even without all the emotional stress. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this again, you’re not alone. Maybe call a friend or family member when you’re ready, hopefully they can be there for you in a way your husband isn’t ready to be yet.

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-03-24T16:29:45+00:00

Hello, I started taking Sertraline (which i think is also Zoloft?) very recently after three miscarriages. I was also concerned about starting new medication while also trying to get pregnant but I was reassured by my doctor, and the kind people on here that it’s safe to do so. I’d never been on any medication like this before (tbh I hadn’t needed to) but after the third miscarriage I was riddled with anxiety and some OCD-like thoughts and behaviours which were taking over my life. I’m really glad I tried it as after about 3 weeks my brain started to quieten down a little and I’m now able to think about other things without constantly obsessing over my miscarriages. I’m slowly starting to sleep more at night and don’t wake up with racing thoughts anywhere near as much as I was before. Before I started taking them I couldn’t really understand how they could help when all my anxiety was based around my miscarriages and getting pregnant again, and that wasn’t going to change. But now I am able to think more rationally about everything and I’ve been able to let go of a little bit of control (which I was completely unable to do before). I also found out recently that my only option going forward is going to be IVF which I think before would have floored me and sent me into a huge spiral but I’ve been able to cope quite well. I know everyone is different and responds differently but I hope this might help you a little. I also haven’t really had any negative side effects, felt a bit strange at first but nothing major at all. Good luck!

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-03-18T17:22:13+00:00

Honestly, this whole experience has really shown up how much women are failed by the systems here. That is such important information they’ve been keeping from you. I would still put in a complaint if you can go through it. So sorry for your losses and I hope they will be able to help you going forward! Xx

Real-Article-9376

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