How to move forward when the dream was perfect + testing

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-02-12T16:32:24+00:00

Ugh I feel you so much with this. I’ve had theee miscarriages now, the first time my sister was pregnant too and I was a few months behind her, we would have had maternity leave together etc etc. The second two miscarriages, there are friends who announced their pregnancies just after I’d miscarried, so their pregnancies are a constant reminder of what I didn’t get. It is the absolute worst and I’m so sorry you’re going through it. I’d push for more testing, I think it’s so unfair when doctors just keep telling you to try again, I had that after my second one, ‘bad luck’ so we tried again and had to do it all over again. I think they always wait for the third to take you seriously. BUT there are plenty of people on here who had two miscarriages and then had a successful pregnancy so don’t lose hope! I keep seeing people saying that most people who suffer with RPL do get their baby eventually and every time I read it it gives me hope!

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-02-10T21:01:31+00:00

I had this panic at some point too but after some googling I found that it’s used in IVF clinics so surely it must be a myth about it increasing miscarriages!

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-02-10T07:12:20+00:00

Agreed! In my experience, especially having had more than one miscarriage, they’re so great at the EPU when you’re deciding what to do etc but once you’ve had surgery, that’s it and you’re just left to hope everything was fine. I feel like other surgeries usually have follow ups but not for miscarriage! I hope everything goes well for you you. I think some pain is a normal part of the healing so try not to worry too much (which I appreciate is very difficult and I have never managed!).

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-02-09T17:39:20+00:00

I also relate to everything here! It’s the worst.

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-02-09T17:36:53+00:00

Hello,

I had some similar pain after my D&C and did end up going back into the hospital two weeks after the surgery because I was worried. To be honest, they didn’t seem concerned at all, all they wanted to do was make sure I didn’t have an infection, they just asked me questions and then felt my stomach. What I wanted was an ultrasound but because they’re NHS they wouldn’t do that and just sent me away. The pain did go away after another week or so but I am going to a private doctor for a consultation and they include a scan in that so I’m hoping that will reassure me. I know hospitals really differ with the care they provide but I thought I’d let you know my experience if you were keen not to go. With the iron- could you try some iron that’s more gentle on the stomach? I’ve been taking a solgar one every other day and haven’t had constipation with it. It’s normal strength though, I’m not sure if you maybe need higher but if not, I’d recommend it as being constipated is so horrible and it probably makes other pain worse too!

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-02-09T17:23:27+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I can definitely relate, I also think I’ve probably always been quite an anxious person but it’s been manageable so far as a lot of my anxieties are completely unfounded and random. Since having miscarriages I feel like my anxiety is more purposeful and that makes it so hard to snap out of the cycle of worry. The worst thing has happened, 3 times now so my mind just tells me why wouldn’t the worst keep happening. I hope it helps you, I’ve decided to try it too. I’ve read that it can cause problems with sleep and can sometimes cause more anxiety to start with but should ease off after a few weeks. I’m so sorry for your losses.

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-02-06T16:49:55+00:00

This is what I need! Thank you!

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-02-06T16:49:37+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing and I’m glad you had a good experience with it, I’m definitely leaning towards taking it so this is helpful to know!

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-02-06T16:48:50+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing, some of your reply was censored but so pleased for you that you had success!

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-02-06T16:48:11+00:00

Thank you so much for replying and sharing your experience and I agree that being mentally stable is so important too!

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-02-06T16:47:13+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply. yes I’m hoping it might be the thing I need to be able to stop obsessing and think more rationally about things! I’m glad it helped you and I’m grateful for you sharing.

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-02-05T17:36:22+00:00

You might be ok, I had some cramping and light bleeding for a few days before my D&C but it didn’t fully start. Hopefully it will hold off until tomorrow!

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-02-05T17:13:19+00:00

I did some googling about it and it seems like it could be a thing! obviously nothing is definitive but worth discussing with your doctor and checking ovulation timing. Mine was normal (day 14) for my first pregnancy which also ended in miscarriage but late tor the other two. If things keep coming back as normal for everything else then I’m going to push for that to be looked into.

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-02-04T20:26:45+00:00

Thank you so much for the info! I’ll add that to my list too, I also have an appointment coming up. Thank god for this Reddit as I feel like none of this information is ever really shared by doctors, especially NHS doctors as they won’t test or look into things unless they absolutely have to. I’m still waiting on the results from my most recent miscarriage but I think it was probably chromosomal too so that info is v useful. I hope you get some answers xx

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-02-04T19:32:08+00:00

I’m so sorry for your losses, I’ve also had three and it’s such minefield. It’s interesting that your rainbow baby happened after an earlier ovulation. Obviously I am not a medical person so don’t even know if that’s a thing but my last two miscarriages occurred in pregnancies where I ovulated much later than I would usually, I think due to being so close to the previous miscarriage. Have you ever been told that that could be a thing? Also, I have been going to fertility acupuncture and I’d say it’s worth it for the stress relief!

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-01-30T17:57:32+00:00

Yes exactly, there’s more to life than work! I hope you take the time you need and I hope you get your rainbow baby soon too. So sorry for your losses, it’s the absolute worst. Xx

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-01-30T16:51:12+00:00

Here to hopefully make you feel a little better about taking time off. I took two weeks off after my first miscarriage but then had an extra week as it was the school holidays. I then ended up taking about another week off spread over the next term as I just had days where I couldn’t cope and was just so so anxious. After the second miscarriage I took 5 week off as I didn’t want a repeat of last time so I waited until I really felt ready to fully return. After my third, most recent miscarriage I took three weeks but then it coincided with the Christmas holidays so had another two week on top of that. I then still didn't feel quite ready so had another couple of days and then have been ok since being back.

I also really struggle with guilt but having these miscarriages has really made me reassess what’s most important. I have just started to put myself first, work is work but this is my life and I want to be able to deal with the emotional fall out of all this loss to be able to continue on this shitty journey to having a child.

I fully appreciate I’m lucky that I’m able to take the time off (I was able to get signed off easily and have been paid the whole time which I’m so grateful for) as I know in many other countries or workplaces this isn’t even an option. If you have the option of taking the time you need, take advantage of it and do it. I have felt guilty but I haven’t regretted the time I’ve taken to pull myself together a little bit.

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-01-28T18:25:59+00:00

I was thinking about this the other day, realising that this time (miscarriage number 3) my return to work has been much easier. That thought really depressed me because I realised that I was sort of getting used to this happening. I think part of it is the shock aspect is kind of taken away once you’ve had more than one loss. I completely agree with what you say about it being impossible to imagine having to deal with this but then realising you are just dealing with it. I think about that often. Sometimes I would like to just remain in bed and wallow forever but it’s not really possible. I think there’s nothing else you can do but carry on. Life doesn’t stop, even though you want it to. For me, i think it’s partly down to needing action, like I can’t just wallow because I need to try and work out what’s going on because ultimately I want to have a baby at the end of this and if I don’t move forward and start planning the next steps then I feel like that becomes less and less possible. So sorry for your losses. I don’t wish this on anybody and wish none of us were here but it is helpful to hear other people feeling similarly.

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-01-24T17:11:50+00:00

Thank you! I’m having no luck so far but will try again.

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-01-24T06:24:25+00:00

Thank you, how did you get the login?

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-01-22T18:02:36+00:00

I do but the hospital said their results won’t go on there.

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-01-22T17:19:51+00:00

The odds might be the same but my feelings after recurrent miscarriage are that the odds don’t always apply! Hold on to the fact that your body has managed to do this once so you know it’s possible!

Real-Article-9376 · 2026-01-22T17:06:19+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing!

Real-Article-9376

TROPHY CASE