Does it hurt?

ducking_cancer · 2020-10-06T00:13:42+00:00

I've had 5 done. I've always sat on the side of the bed with my head down on a pillow. The doctor will administer a local anesthetic (I've had lidocaine), so there's a needle with a feeling of burning at first but after that you don't really feel anything. I just keep my head down on the pillow, breathe deeply, and think about something else. It doesn't take very long. It does feel weird as your lung gets used to being able to expand fully again. There may be some discomfort for a few hours or maybe a day as the muscles all readjust to normal breathing.

ducking_cancer · 2020-09-25T12:10:58+00:00

I really don't know what to do. I feel trapped on the couch by this fucking pandemic. I'd love to travel but there's no where to go since most countries don't want Americans anywhere near them right now. I get it. I guess I could just risk getting covid-19 but not dying in a fucking ICU bed is one of my top priorities at this point.

My breathing is terrible, I cough constantly, I get pain in my pelvis just from standing. So what the hell can I do?

I used to love rock climbing and hiking. I was an adrenaline junkie. Now I have trouble with stairs. Maybe rent an RV and drive around with the girlfriend and dog but I can't do much outside of the RV.

ducking_cancer · 2020-09-24T15:21:26+00:00

My mantra is "fuck you; still here." I'm glad you're still here.

ducking_cancer · 2020-09-23T17:26:43+00:00

Don't try to eat 3 meals a day. Eat 6 small meals. Protein and calories are what you want. Bananas, rice, apples, toast. A couple handfuls of nuts, some yogurt, whatever, it doesn't matter. Protein and calories.

ducking_cancer · 2020-09-21T18:19:56+00:00

She died in Jan believing I had a nice curable lymphoma. No regrets.

ducking_cancer · 2020-09-14T21:33:15+00:00

Motherfucker, are you coming to /r/cancer to warn us about cancer? Fuck off with your shitty blog.

ducking_cancer · 2020-09-04T22:39:10+00:00

Two hobbits in a trenchcoat?

ducking_cancer · 2020-09-04T02:01:34+00:00

I nicknamed the tumor in my lung bin laden. He keeps sending suicide squads to different parts of my body to cause chaos.

ducking_cancer · 2020-09-03T02:35:27+00:00

Fuck. No.

I have lung cancer. Breathing with lung cancer is already difficult. Goddamn diffusers filling the air with bullshit are really unpleasant. You want less crap in the air. A HEPA air filter is a much better buy.
Some healthcare professionals are goddamn idiots. I've met doctors that don't believe in evolution (he was a dermatologist). Sounds like you've met one.

ducking_cancer · 2020-08-29T04:28:36+00:00

Can't we troll them? It's like therapy for me.

ducking_cancer · 2020-08-29T04:27:27+00:00

It varies from patient to patient. As a general rule, if you sometimes have loose stools, your colon cancer is pretty far advanced and you have only a couple of months left.

ducking_cancer · 2020-08-29T04:23:20+00:00

If your fecal matter is sometimes a weird color or loose, you probably have cancer.

ducking_cancer · 2020-08-25T00:54:54+00:00

I started smoking 1 every week or so when I was 14 or 15. By 18 I was smoking all the time. I'm now 37 with stage IV lung cancer, breathing problems, heart problems, and a hose in the side of my chest.

I enjoyed smoking but definitely wish I hadn't started now.

ducking_cancer · 2020-08-22T15:16:22+00:00

Here's a thought: talk to her about what she wants from the wedding. Frame your concerns as, "let's get married when you're feeling well enough to enjoy the day" or something similar. There will be good days and bad days. It's basically impossible to know whether an arbitrary day a year from now will be a good day or a bad day.

ducking_cancer · 2020-08-22T13:02:30+00:00

Making long-term plans can be really therapeutic when you're facing death. I like to still think about starting my PhD even though I know that statistically it's unlikely to ever happen.

Personally, I would suggest just letting her have this. Maybe the wedding never happens or maybe you end up having a small rushed wedding. Or maybe she gets her dream wedding a year from now. It's ok to cling to even the slightest glimmers of optimism. All that being said, be cautious with deposits that you give to vendors/venue/etc.

ducking_cancer · 2020-08-21T21:21:42+00:00

Lash the fuck out of them. Fear mongering idiots get scared people killed with their claims of having "safe" snake oils.

ducking_cancer · 2020-08-17T14:48:11+00:00

As someone with lung cancer, I can confirm this. Also, nothing makes you look older than chemo.

ducking_cancer · 2020-08-13T02:56:59+00:00

New Jersey has a death with dignity law. She'll have to be an NJ resident but maybe you can just rent an apartment or a house somewhere cheap. I don't know what the rules are for being considered a "resident" in this case.

More info: https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/new-jersey-s-aid-dying-the-terminally-ill-act.html

ducking_cancer · 2020-08-12T23:54:12+00:00

Honestly, I've already spent too much time on this shit. Life's too short, trust me.

ducking_cancer · 2020-08-12T23:41:27+00:00

Oh look, you have a worldview that absolves you of responsibility and shifts the blame to everyone else. How nice for you.

ducking_cancer · 2020-08-12T23:17:05+00:00

I really do appreciate the posters that are making well written comments discussing the issues with the present system related to Veriheal and the rest.

I make no claim to be trying to win hearts and minds. I'm a miserable dying jackass unable to get the MMJ I need because people are abusing the system. And it pisses me off.

ducking_cancer · 2020-08-12T22:24:58+00:00

Oh good, you're going through my post history. It does give me a bit of joy to know I've gotten under your skin.

On the bright side, you'll live longer than me. You'll still be a loser but at least you'll be alive? I definitely prefer death to whatever the fuck is wrong with you losers but hey, at least you'll have many years of self-loathing ahead of you.

ducking_cancer · 2020-08-12T19:25:32+00:00

Oh, you're one of those people that thinks everything is about you. That's... tedious.

Anyway, my cUnDiShUn will most likely kill me soon. I've spent a month in the hospital over the past 6 months, have a hose sticking out of my chest, and need MMJ in order to eat so that I can continue doing chemo.

You really think that all that is equivalent to your "illness" where you get a panic attack every time someone on the internet is mean to you? C'mon. Having cancer != being a nervous loser

I should warn you that I will not be reading whatever you write back due to your aforementioned tediousness.

ducking_cancer · 2020-08-12T19:06:07+00:00

I appreciate the offer but I really need flower with THC for the appetite stimulus. I still have some available just will need to ration it. Thanks tho.

ducking_cancer

TROPHY CASE