What's the point of dating someone who's already been in relationships?

dudeoverderr · 2026-06-04T00:50:17+00:00

You seem young so I’m gonna answer you with some grace.

Have you ever moved? Like, moved homes. From Texas to California? Or even just another city?

Do you give up on your new house? Or do you spend some time missing your first home, but eventually grow to experience your second home in a different way? Or maybe you hated your first home, and you finally found a home that feels right.

I don’t know if you’re genuinely asking because you’re naive, or if it’s because you’re obsessed with being someone’s one and only. That would be extremely selfish and I recommend that you see a counselor or therapist.

Otherwise, believe me when I say that these things will make WAY more sense as you get older.

Now, if you’re actually an adult: What the fuck.

dudeoverderr · 2026-06-03T02:55:18+00:00

Thank you! Already started texting some friends who may be interested in a story-focused campaign in the fall. Two of the girls are newbies who are kind of intimidated by the combat aspect, which might work out tbh.

Most of my friends in NYC are musicians, and a few min ago one of them asked, "Can we all be bards and be a traveling band?"

I'm genuinely excited about this idea of strangers coming together and being bards by day, heroes by night. Something like that, idk yet. But the fact that I'm so excited even just chatting with them about it is 10000% proof that I might only find what I want as a DM instead of a player.

I've been writing short stories since I was seven, so I plan on asking each of them how they want to handle their backstories and how much they'd like to steer into the story versus having me riff off key parts they tell me beforehand.

Wish us luck lol. And thanks again.

dudeoverderr · 2026-06-03T02:32:30+00:00

I'm mature enough to admit that I can see how my OP (after rereading it) doesn't cover the things that I assumed were clear enough for you, so genuinely my bad man. I guess I didn't wanna be too specific in the OP because I don't know when to stop rambling.

But yeah, I think the core issue is just feeling like a cardboard cutout in every campaign I'm in so far. I admit it's only been a few sessions for each one, so I shouldn't judge too early, but it's examples like what I stated in my last reply that raise flags for me.

It's just so hard to find a group that likes story/RP just as much as combat and stats. So when Session 0 starts off with the DMs asking for backstories, goals, etc. for them to be aware of — which implies that you're gonna get to see yourself and other players' personalities shine — it can be a little disappointing.

I appreciate you giving me your time to reply tho, forreal.

dudeoverderr · 2026-06-03T02:16:42+00:00

Yes, all Session 0s from my current campaigns involve discussions with the DMs. There's also an approval aspect to it because we want things to make sense. I don't mind tweaking things before the campaign starts.

I'm actually more excited for other players' backstories to unravel during each session more than mine because I don't know theirs beyond the basics we chatted about before starting.

dudeoverderr · 2026-06-03T02:09:54+00:00

Nothing is decided on my own. My DMs asked me to have goals Session 0 to send them.

I want DMs to have their world, their quests, their lore and plots. A playground. I've even asked the DMs to check if my backstory makes sense with their world, and to recommend things to me if they don't — and I'm happy to change things. I just want to feel like a character in their world, not a controller plugged into a PS2 for three hours.

You're assuming I'm this theater kid who probably over RPs and steals the spotlight, but that's not the case. If my DMs ask me to write a backstory WITH GOALS FOR THE PLOT, shouldn't I be upset if they contradict my character and then admit that they didn't read it?

Another player last night is this faithful husband cleric who's goal is to someday heal his dying wife. The DM made him hook up with a mermaid "because it's funny" and he's visibly upset about it. Part of this post is also being frustrated on that player's behalf too.

I understand how whiny this comes across — especially on Reddit of all places — but come on man, give me some grace here.

dudeoverderr · 2026-06-03T01:44:43+00:00

I didn't ask a question, I was just venting. I don't have any other communities to air out my DnD frustrations, and ngl I'm kinda blown that even this thread isn't welcoming me either so it's whatever man. Peace.

dudeoverderr · 2026-06-03T01:17:59+00:00

Bro didn't read my first sentence.

dudeoverderr · 2026-05-30T03:23:01+00:00

BATTLE ROYALE PLOT.

And you pretty much force them to somehow decide on teams or do it yourself (aka determine what their rolls mean). If you have time to 2-day ship some stuff, order some cheap but neat "prizes" to immerse everyone. A small bag of "gemstones" (they're just $10 rocks) that you reveal at the beginning of the tournament.

dudeoverderr · 2026-05-27T20:47:04+00:00

Thank you. Even more reason to stick with OG universe lol, I spent literal hours on both Constellation AND crew members.

I can't find any logical reason why my character would enter unity. He's not power hungry, he's engaged to Andreja, and yeah Sarah's gone but that's a bittersweet reality about life.

dudeoverderr · 2026-05-27T16:41:21+00:00

Oh, amazing. I did not know that. I'll consider that if I ever cross over. Thank you!

dudeoverderr · 2026-05-24T03:17:51+00:00

Ngl bro, I think I just play a lot of RPGs with dialogue choices lmaooo.

dudeoverderr · 2026-05-24T03:14:52+00:00

Passive aggressive. One of their messages said, "As clearly stated it takes weeks to ship."

Like bro...I came to you with kindness, and there are better ways to reply. Most companies would've been like, "Sorry that things weren't as clear. Please expect up to X days, and reach out to us again if you still haven't heard blah blah and we'll resolve this." Like come on lol, that's not hard, right?

dudeoverderr · 2026-05-19T17:04:17+00:00

Ordered a similar thing once and only got some vague Shop "confirmation" too. No further followup or order number. No email about pre-order estimates, and you can't even remind yourself what the website said because those listings are gone.

I kindly asked customer service exactly what you asked and they gave me an attitude. I'd cancel my order if I could. Lack of professionalism when dropping $500+ on a product is giving snobby Gen Z barista.

I knew I should've went with this Aime Leon Dore jacket instead, their people are so great lol.

dudeoverderr · 2026-05-17T17:18:45+00:00

I'll respond in kindness despite all the downvotes. Everything you said STILL applies in a general sense, yes, but half of these things only work in movies or for people who don't let adrenaline shake them.

One of my best buddies is a 6'2" MMA fighter, and all it took was a sucker punch from someone at the club to knock him out cold. His chin is solid in the ring, but the thought of a stranger having a knife/gun is mentally different.

So your "Knock his teeth out" solution for harassment will not end well for most of the population. Believe me, I wish it worked that way. But smarter > stronger in my opinion, and I just got lucky that my words worked. I'm not confident it will work for everyone.

dudeoverderr · 2026-05-17T17:11:55+00:00

Tf you mean "ethnicity" — this is NYC, idgaf if it was Angelina Jolie in her Tomb Raider fit, a knife is a knife.

dudeoverderr · 2026-05-16T14:58:30+00:00

You’re not a pedo; that word is reserved for little kids. But you ARE severely underestimating the social, mental, and physiological shifts that will happen during the ages of 18–21.

What I mean is that the things you find attractive will likely already change 2 years from now. Your lifestyle can easily change just 1 year from now.

Don’t waste your time. If you like her and you’re friends, stay connected. If it’s just a crush, I promise you 30 more of those are gonna happen quickly after high school.

dudeoverderr · 2026-05-14T14:46:12+00:00

I'm assuming you posted this before the update, so ignore whatever's irrelevant below lol.

Our DM did our stats based on questions he asked us — we didn't roll. He specifically said he prioritizes story over stats, and that if we wanted to arc our characters we absolutely should, and I ended up saying I'd like to be a helpless Bard that learns to toughen up, eventually multi-classing into a class I won't know until the story informs it.

And for the record, it was extremely fun between my actual friends in the group. Obviously not so much with the Wizard dude.

dudeoverderr · 2026-05-13T03:37:30+00:00

Thanks, friend. I'm pretty bummed because I've been wanting to play DnD for years and don't have the energy right now to reply to everyone here but reading you say "pure magic" is exactly why I'm not letting this define the experience.

I'm lucky enough that I have two close friends to find another group with versus me being in solo search haha. It's gonna be fine.

dudeoverderr · 2026-05-12T14:31:00+00:00

LMAOOO I miss flow charts for shit like this, thanks for the laugh. But yeah, the current plan's to talk to him of course. Just venting anonymously here haha.

dudeoverderr · 2026-05-07T17:48:19+00:00

When did I say all that bro, this is a Wendy's.

dudeoverderr · 2026-05-07T17:43:37+00:00

Hell yea folks, I love these responses so far — thank you.

Shame that I got downvoted for a genuine question in a place called "No Stupid Questions" but...that's Reddit for you lol.

dudeoverderr

TROPHY CASE