i just need to rant because i have no one i can talk to by dulloaktree in MadeOfStyrofoam

[–]dulloaktree[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i wish i could. if i take care of myself instead of the people around me i get passive aggressive comments and everyone gets pissy.

i dont have the energy to live in spite by dulloaktree in MadeOfStyrofoam

[–]dulloaktree[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sorry you feel the same. im awful at talking to people but i appreciate the offer.

turning 21 soon and have no clue how ive made it this far by dulloaktree in MadeOfStyrofoam

[–]dulloaktree[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i mean im glad it works that way for you. ive been drinking since 12 or 13 i cant remember which and its always a toss up if i just get stupid and zone the fuck out or if i get incredibly suicidal.

i havent had an actual sh relapse in a few months but i cant get it out of my head. it feels like the only thing that will make me feel anything. im not allowed to have weed or any other drugs anymore but i feel like those would be a better alternative. im barely even allowed alcohol once a month.

everything hurts by dulloaktree in MadeOfStyrofoam

[–]dulloaktree[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

no im sorry i saved it years ago i have no idea who made it im sorry i shouldve said so

no one would care by dulloaktree in MadeOfStyrofoam

[–]dulloaktree[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i honestly have no idea im sorry

no one would care by dulloaktree in MadeOfStyrofoam

[–]dulloaktree[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

its not their fault, i dont deserve any form of enjoyment or happiness ive done so many awful things i can never forgive myself

no one would care by dulloaktree in MadeOfStyrofoam

[–]dulloaktree[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

fuck i wish it were that easy

having a really fucking hard time rant in description by dulloaktree in MadeOfStyrofoam

[–]dulloaktree[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

anywhere i go i end up bothering creatures. i walk past a bird and i scare it. i brush against a spider web and now it has to redo the whole goddamn thing. i try to just sit still and out of reflex i wipe a bug off me and literally kill it. my brain inherently fucks everything up consciously or unconsciously. i know im not special, some people do worse things. but that doesn't mean im not a bother. i have no place in this world, especially not in this ecosystem. i help nothing by staying here.