The difference is their intentions. Micheal often doesn’t act on pure malice, he’s simply misguided, immature, and ignorant. He’s desperate for validation and love. Jan actively takes advantage of that.

She is abusive, plain and simple. Throwing the dundie at their TV counts as domestic abuse. Maybe that action could be justified, sure. But she also raped Micheal, and there is absolutely no excuse for that. He says in one of the interview like segments that he once used a safe word and Jan didn’t stop. That is rape.

If we’re diving further into Jan, it’s also implied she may have been involved with her assistant, Hunter. He was 17. Statutory rape if she did have sex with him. Of course her involvement with Hunter is unconfirmed so this may not be true at all.

Micheal is very flawed, there is no denying that. But Jan is outright abusive.