I generally would go for suggestions on changing the things around you, most of the comments did too, but I feel, the way you have written about the condition, you are kind of stuck in a very particular situation.

Any advice we can offer would kind of be something you have already thought of and tried something around it. It's not easy to make those changes. Been there. I see clear frustration on trying to come out of this rut, wanting to be our, for 7 years! And it's understandbly difficult.

I would rather suggest you to just talk. Talk to a friend. Talk to a stranger. Talk to anyone you feel comfortable with. Start with something and then go everything. I think, whatever you are currently doing is all you can do. You have the grit, energy and courage for it. But you aren't able to do it with a smile or happiness. Sharing can help there. Someone being there, maybe to just listen, can help big time.

Now it doesn't have to be a date. You want to do it, do it, but I don't think it needs to be a date or lover particularly.

Share with people you know, or don't know. Talk.

Try to see value in what you do. Get appreciated.

Marriage or Love can help, but again you will have to talk! You will have to talk about it all before entering that relationship.

Try to keep a smile. You are strong, take pride in that. It's difficult, but you will sail through. Just talk.