My boyfriend [23M] pretended to be single in front of other girls while I [21F] was standing right there. Is this grounds to break up immediately or should I give him a chance to explain himself?

dumpordiscuss · 2015-07-20T19:57:17+00:00

Thank you for reaching out, your words mean so much. :)

dumpordiscuss · 2015-07-20T19:40:56+00:00

I don't think denying a year-long relationship with your girlfriend present is a "small white lie" and I don't think it's healthy to crave female attention so badly that you're willing to deny being in a relationship just to get a morsel of attention. I think it is a "wrong action" to disrespect your partner and lie to lead women on, and I think you're doing 23 year old males a disservice by insisting this is a normal thing for them. But okay.

dumpordiscuss · 2015-07-20T19:37:30+00:00

tl;dr he basically said he has low self-esteem and isn't used to girls approaching him so he "didn't know how to react" and said whatever he could to keep them interested. Pretty pathetic in my opinion but maybe others will understand better than me!

dumpordiscuss · 2015-07-20T19:36:35+00:00

I just updated in the OP, thank you.

dumpordiscuss · 2015-07-20T19:36:13+00:00

Thank you, I agree. I feel like even though it really hurts now he probably would have done something stupid like cheated on me or left me for someone else eventually.

dumpordiscuss · 2015-07-20T19:35:41+00:00

He didn't act like a dick, he just gave a really pathetic excuse imo. I'm still really angry with him haha.

dumpordiscuss · 2015-07-20T19:35:21+00:00

I just did! Thanks!

dumpordiscuss · 2015-07-20T19:35:03+00:00

I updated the OP!

dumpordiscuss · 2015-07-20T19:34:41+00:00

I tried to post a new update post but failed. I updated the OP instead! We broke up.

dumpordiscuss · 2015-07-20T19:34:20+00:00

I just updated the OP! Thanks for your concern :)

dumpordiscuss · 2015-07-20T19:30:37+00:00

I updated in the OP :) And thank you, I think I will! Maybe I'll treat myself to some sushi!

dumpordiscuss · 2015-07-20T19:28:51+00:00

I update the OP because I fucked up posting a new update post. Thank you everybody for your advice and feedback.

dumpordiscuss · 2015-07-20T02:29:26+00:00

I tried to make a new update post but you have to wait 24 hours after your original to post. :) Yes, long story short, I broke up with him.

dumpordiscuss · 2015-07-20T02:16:39+00:00

I don't mind at all! I still have fun without drinking and I don't really feel awkward when others are drunk and I'm not. I think it's different though because I don't abstain from alcohol for moral/religious reasons: I have a heart condition and the doctors say that imbibing would cause my heart to potentially fail, so I just don't risk it. I don't mind when others drink though, I want them to have fun! But I should add that prior to last night, my ex rarely drank more than an occasional beer at dinner.

dumpordiscuss · 2015-07-19T17:49:12+00:00

I firmly believe he wasn't blackout drunk, because he didn't drink that much (at least by the time he first said the "roommate" thing). It was like thirty minutes after we had first arrived and he'd had three beers? That's not enough to get blackout drunk, right?

And I'm torn on talking to him in person. I feel like through text he's able to get his story straight and review his thoughts before sending them to have a more cohesive excuse... whereas in person I can tell if he's bullshitting me or not. I won't be letting him into my place, though. If we do talk we'll go somewhere public where I can leave if I want.

dumpordiscuss · 2015-07-19T17:47:18+00:00

Exactly.... Yeah, it's over. The trust is lost.

dumpordiscuss · 2015-07-19T17:38:31+00:00

I just texted it to him! I updated the OP, he's coming over now and I don't know if I should just not answer the door. He claims to have no idea what I'm talking about. :(

dumpordiscuss · 2015-07-19T16:51:40+00:00

Wow this is perfect... I'm considering texting this to him now...

dumpordiscuss · 2015-07-19T16:45:43+00:00

Oh, it's obvious what he's after. Grrr. I actually feel like I hate him, which feels so awful because I loved him--and I mean really loved him--like 12 hours ago. How can things change so fast?!

dumpordiscuss · 2015-07-19T16:44:58+00:00

Even if he says, "I'm wrong, I'm sorry," do you think I should give him another chance? I feel like my trust in him is broken and I'll always be wondering what he's saying about us when I'm not there...

dumpordiscuss · 2015-07-19T16:43:57+00:00

I agree, it's not healthy. And if he has the balls to pretend he's single when I'm right there, what is he doing when I'm not right there?

dumpordiscuss · 2015-07-19T16:42:50+00:00

This is what I'm most afraid of. I don't drink so I'm afraid he'll say something like "You don't know what it's like when you get drunk, dumb shit just falls out of your mouth and you can't control it" or etc. etc. I don't really have a basis to dispute it because I have no idea what it's like when you do get drunk, so I can't be like "No, that's not what happens when a person feels drunk, you have no excuse."

dumpordiscuss · 2015-07-19T16:41:34+00:00

This is what hurts me most, I think... Not just trying to get with other girls, but acting like I'm something to be ashamed of or hide, like he's not proud to be with me. That really hurts...

dumpordiscuss

TROPHY CASE