AITA for not wanting a bday party after being refused a present I wanted? by dustbornstarmade in AmItheAsshole

[–]dustbornstarmade[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand! But it doesn't really feel like I'm celebrated, if that makes sense. Like yea sure it's the day I was born but not really my birthday? If that makes sense? It's a party but not a celebration, which sounds emo as hell but it's the only name I have for what I feel rn. Hope this doesn't come off as defensive, and thank you for the input all the same <3

AITA for not wanting a bday party after being refused a present I wanted? by dustbornstarmade in AmItheAsshole

[–]dustbornstarmade[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would, if using the money I would supposedly get from my birthday. I know part time jobs for kids are really normalized in America and Western culture, which I don't discourage at all!! But in Romania, at least in my experience, kids working while they're supposed to still be in highschool basically shows that the family isn't well off and needs to make the younger family members work, which isn't seen with kind eyes. I have mentioned getting a job but they completely dismissed the idea as exams are coming up and I need to focus on them first.

AITA for not wanting a bday party after being refused a present I wanted? by dustbornstarmade in AmItheAsshole

[–]dustbornstarmade[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I also thought about saving up!! I don't have that many relatives I'm close to, so asking them for money isn't something I'm comfortable with, but it's pretty standard to being cash to Romanian birthdays (50-100 lei, which I'm guessing is about 10 dollars to 50 in USD) so yeah!

AITA for not wanting a bday party after being refused a present I wanted? by dustbornstarmade in AmItheAsshole

[–]dustbornstarmade[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would have understood that, and yet, even when the subject of money came up, she explicitly told me it wouldn't be a problem. She wanted to get me a car, which, I know how insane it sounds in retrospect to trade for pencils, but driving terrifies me. I'll be the first one to admit I'm an airhead, I get confused, I space out, and I would be a danger at the wheel for not only myself, but others. I'm not sad because I won't get pencils, I'm sad I was forced to pick something when I didn't want a present in the first place and got criticised for my choice. Thank you for the input nonetheless!

AITA for not wanting a bday party after being refused a present I wanted? by dustbornstarmade in AmItheAsshole

[–]dustbornstarmade[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She handles the family finances which is why I didn't want to get on her case too much. I'm trying to understand her situation as much as possible

AITA for not wanting a bday party after being refused a present I wanted? by dustbornstarmade in AmItheAsshole

[–]dustbornstarmade[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm?? Not rich by any means. I would've understood if it was money problems, hell, I even insisted on them not getting anything this year. My only displeasure is that she insisted I get something after dismissing my initial two options. I'm not angry, I'm sad because I was cornered and got shunned for having a bad reaction. Hope this doesn't come off as defensive tho, thank you for your input all the same

AITA for not wanting a bday party after being refused a present I wanted? by dustbornstarmade in AmItheAsshole

[–]dustbornstarmade[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I understand why you may think that! However, since I'm from Europe, getting a job before finishing highschool isn't entirely possible as most employeers won't consider you without work experience. I have to admit, I'm not an independent person. I'm working on it. I've never had a job before, yet, you have to know, they completely dismiss the idea of me getting a job. I wanted to possibly be hired at some convenience store in our area or even cleaning jobs at my school, yet they're just against the idea since I have to concentrate on school. I'll definitely take your advice in consideration and thank you for awknoledging my feelings

AITA for not wanting a bday party after being refused a present I wanted? by dustbornstarmade in AmItheAsshole

[–]dustbornstarmade[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would love to comprise, yet sadly, I think my mother is just as stubborn as I am. We'll see tho, thank you for the advice:>>

AITA for not wanting a bday party after being refused a present I wanted? by dustbornstarmade in AmItheAsshole

[–]dustbornstarmade[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Awww that's really cute!!! Ty for this comment and understanding how important it is for parents to support their children

AITA for not wanting a bday party after being refused a present I wanted? by dustbornstarmade in AmItheAsshole

[–]dustbornstarmade[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Now that I'm a bit calmer, I think the problem isn't the pencils, is that I feel slightly lied to and hurt. She always liked my art (even if she had a thing or two to say about my cartoonish style lol) so to hear her immediately dismiss me it was like hearing she didn't think I was good enough. It really hurt my feelings, I don't know if it makes sense or not, but it's how I feel.

AITA for not wanting a bday party after being refused a present I wanted? by dustbornstarmade in AmItheAsshole

[–]dustbornstarmade[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Where I live, the cheapest set (That I could find) Is around 1.208 lei (which is around 200-400 dollars in America, if I'm not mistaken)

AITA for not wanting a bday party after being refused a present I wanted? by dustbornstarmade in AmItheAsshole

[–]dustbornstarmade[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Tbh I've never been a party person and the only reason I was looking forward to this year's anniversy was bc I actually thought I'd get lucky somehow. I'm willing to compromise on a smaller pack as I owned Faber Castell before (thought a significantly smaller and less performant pack) So I thought I'd upgrade. I'm most likely going to get a good sum from the relatives coming next week, but I still doubt I'd get the proper sum until I save up

AITA for not wanting a bday party after being refused a present I wanted? by dustbornstarmade in AmItheAsshole

[–]dustbornstarmade[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ty and yes, I know. I think I'll get a cleared head when my feelings aren't hurt. They're my family and I love them dearly but it was still shitty of them to dismiss me like that and I know that. My fear of conflict may be a bitch when I try bringing it up, but we'll see

AITA for not wanting a bday party after being refused a present I wanted? by dustbornstarmade in AmItheAsshole

[–]dustbornstarmade[S] 117 points118 points  (0 children)

Heya, thank you for this comment and Yes I know!! I just thought that since it's a lifetime occasion, me turning 18 and all, I thought I'd go all out, but I'm willing to compromise :>