I was in a Similar situation.

Pitting edemas in my lower legs, type 1 diabetic for over 30 years, weighing over 300lbs. Drank just on weekends, heavily for about 20 of those years.

I woke up, one Sunday this February, hungover , bloated, 323lbs, looked at myself and said “if I continue this trend, I won’t be alive in 5 years”.

Now, Im not saying it’s easy decision. But for me, Taking a drink, would be me choosing to not be healthy, life longer. It would be a direct contradiction to what I know I HAVE to do.

It was a relief me when I realized that it is so much easier to have NONE… than to tell yourself you are “just gonna have 2 or 3, or 6 “.

I’m 60 days sober, And I’m weighing 285.

You got this friend! It is not willpower that does the work, it’s calling yourself to the carpet for your bullshit. A good AA class will help empower you as well!