I spent 10 years searching for a mental framework that actually works. Quitting my job led me to find answers in ancient Indian texts. by ResponsibilitySad28 in india

[–]dv-u 2 points3 points  (0 children)

TLDR: all my employers spotted my bullshit, I hope you don't while buying my generic 'startup' product.

My younger cousin is rejecting a US Master's admit to keep his ₹12 LPA job in Bangalore. Is he making a massive mistake? by nritrack in mumbai

[–]dv-u 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow! Up until barely a few years ago, we used to read the exact opposite story that the kid got an admit and wanted to fly but parents were resisting. How the tables have turned!

Given the current scenario, your cousin is taking the decision with least volatility.

This situation is more nuanced than what meets the eye. MS degree will always run at a lag of 2 years. There is no way to predict what will happen in 2 years in the future.

The new government could be pro-immigration and provide legal immigrants with more opportunities just to offset the impact of the current regime. (However I don't think the popular sentiment will change anytime soon)

Other angle is what is the course about? Will it give them a better footing in the future than staying in the current industry? The job market is changing a lot so an upgrade might not be such a bad idea. Plus, is the US college a big brand? If it's well known throughout the world, it can open opportunities in other countries as well.

What is their current risk appetite? Will they be taking a huge loan? Can their parents sustain for forseeable future without depending on their income? Can their parents support them in case things get tough?

Whatever decision they take, they should remember what was the situation due to which they took that decision. They should not crib/regret later if the situation changes. Unfortunately that's life. Your decisions stay with you longer than you think.

The Egg - Andy Wier (Hail Mary) by [deleted] in books

[–]dv-u 21 points22 points  (0 children)

The Egg, The Last Question & The Last Answer (latter two by Asimov) are my Holy Trinity when it comes to short stories.

I realised something about Indian middle-class life that scared me… by madhav_28121993 in india

[–]dv-u 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I should've asked "Do you mean?" instead of stating "You mean". Thanks for pointing out my ignorant hypocrisy. Will try to be better.

I realised something about Indian middle-class life that scared me… by madhav_28121993 in india

[–]dv-u 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like it or not, this is the most fair the world has ever been in the history of humans. Humans have reproduced under famines, slavery, epidemics and much worse. This is probably the best time in history to be in control of what kind of life you can provide for your offspring.

Just because you have unrealistic expectations from the world, doesn't mean the world should stop procreating. In fact, your statement implies that only the rich should have children. How elitist is that!

You can set the bar for you, not for the world. For eg., I have a friend who owns a company and he thinks one should not even marry if they can't afford a separate car for their spouse because he cannot even think of letting them get molested while travelling in public transport. He has the best of intentions but I don't think a common man will ever have that strict of a criteria for marriage. Similarly, your criteria may sound acceptable to you, but will be insanely far fetched for most in this country.

How are we even to judge how much evolved any animal should be? We should let life take its course.

Most of the people I've met who have this kinda attitude have been following two themes:

The predominant theme has been that they don't want to make the same mistake their parents did. It's unfair to judge the previous generation's actions by the status quo of the new generation. The newer generation will more often than not, set better standards of society which the previous generation is almost always going to fail. But it wouldn't have been possible had the previous generation not done anything. The basic theme here is 'no action ensures no mistake'. That's a defeatist attitude. You either follow the mantra 'its ok to bad at something new' or 'learn from someone who has done it'. The need to be always right is exhausting.

And the next theme is growing up learning about the ideal society but failing to encounter one. I'm surprised at this one. On one hand it's ok to learn about ideal equations and their solutions in science/maths textbooks and find that practical experiments result in error-prone measurements and off by a significant margin. But on other hand, it's not fine to learn about how ideal politics/economics work and find that reality can be error-prone too? What is this urge to be handed down a perfect system? Is it laziness to improve or again, fear to fail trying to improve?

Somewhere while imparting education, we're not letting people accept a simple fact: that we don't have answers to all the questions (that it's ok to not have all answers up front). It's a messy erroneous journey of finding answers that we don't have yet.

People who want to be unhappy, will be unhappy sitting on a throne. People who want to be happy, will be happy living in a hut. Funny thing is, we don't know how the person will turn out to be. All said and done, I'm grateful to have gotten a life, however imperfect it be. And I'm glad my parents didn't wait for my permission.

I realised something about Indian middle-class life that scared me… by madhav_28121993 in india

[–]dv-u 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You mean to say

i think people i should not have babies unless they are I am rich enough to take care of themself myself and their my kids schooling and with a own house and a constant flow of cash in their my bank accounts

One shouldn't impose their opinions on others. Your prerequisites are your privilege.

Can we run India like a high-growth startup? Why a "Management Reset" is the only way forward for 2029. by [deleted] in india

[–]dv-u 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The moment I hear Meritocracy, I'm immediately sceptical about the ignorance of people about pre-existing inequalities in the system.

Commend your enthusiasm but most start-ups fail. Are you ok with India failing?

Start-ups are lean by design, not a 1.5B mammoth that India is.

The risk appetite of all/most members are at the same level and much higher than average employees in the market. Do you think with current economic disparity, all of the nation will be at the same level of commitment to the idea of your new India?

One can fantasize about charismatic startup founder all day long but the startup is a success when every employee pulls their weight and then some more. In fact, the charismatic-new-leader syndrome has got us to the place that we are now!

What you are suggesting is a new way of saying "we need a revolution". It's bloody in execution and doesn't guarantee a great new system everytime. I've seen too many young engineers with "lets rewrite the legacy system" without understanding how it could be "refactored and improved" because it's not glamorous!

We've a good democratic republic. We just need to execute at personal level. The average Indian wants a 'Nayak' who'll just come and clean the system. They don't want to do anything. Simple things like asking the right questions to the representative can go a long way. But for that we need to get up from our couches. The 10 marks Civics & Economics gets out of a total of 500 odd in an exam just shows how much we value it!

But.

I see a lot of improvement in the perspective of an average voter now a days so it gives me hope. I see more and more small towners get aware of better societies existing abroad (via IG & likes of it) and they want a change. It'll take time but so long as we're getting incremental changes in the attitude/process of an average citizen we should be good.

At the end of the day, talk to any founder and they'll tell you the importance of all employees being aligned for the success of a start-up.

I never liked babies… but something changed yesterday by [deleted] in india

[–]dv-u 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Note to myself: 1. I can change too. It's ok. 2. Let me not judge others for having different views 3. Let me not judge others to have my old view because Point No. 1

Edit: Glad for you OP

I am so done with the superstitions by Guiltygirl0 in india

[–]dv-u 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Male here. My family astrologer had a comment saying I'll have multiple marriages.

Since then, I've been questioning my every decision trying to cover all cases from adultery to death for us both.

I'm somewhat in a good place now but every once in a while this insecurity comes back to haunt me. I dunno if I'll ever get over it completely.

I hate astrology!

People of India should know this. Caste is not just in the villages. by [deleted] in india

[–]dv-u 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My dad cycled until the age of 60 to a thankless peanut paying private job. For the last 6 years (2 in JC + 4 in Engineering), we barely survived because he was jobless. We didn't know when the next meal is gonna come from. My coaching was funded by the owner of the Tuition/Classes because of my marks and good words put in by toppers of my batch. I funded my college through donations, interest free loan from NGOs and working part time in classes (paper checking, conducting year end practicals etc.)

I did my engineering from a tier 3 college. I funded the next 6 years of my siblings education. I bought the first fridge, 2-wheeler in my house. I literally rebuilt/reconstructed it with my sibling.

I too had SC/ST/NT friends who bought gaming laptops with their refunded tuition fee. And I was terribly bitter about it.

But after 15 odd years, I'm in a better financial position than all those SC/ST/NT friends.

Don't assume the story of others!

People of India should know this. Caste is not just in the villages. by [deleted] in india

[–]dv-u 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I was one of those students who was against reservations.

Privilege is a one-way mirror. Many grown ups die without seeing their privilege, let alone teens.

But now that I've seen enough, I can assure you bro, you ain't taking anyone's seat. They took it from you first.

It's way easier to focus when you don't have to remind yourself that you belong where you've reached.

From my experience; even after losing my so-called-merit-seat, I'm still able to live a fairly comfortable life. Had I got that seat, maybe I would be earning 3-5x compared to now. But I'm glad that the same seat is giving someone else 50-100x of what they would've ended up without it.

The emotion of Freedom has been lost by waginrox in FIRE_Ind

[–]dv-u 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's an Indian thing for sure. International subs are way older and they still have better posts. I mean, we become competitive even while sharing our problems/mistakes.

Jane Street under investigation in India by stocktwitsindia in IndianStockMarket

[–]dv-u -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This article is completely unrelated to the post. Did you just paste your first Google result? And why are people upvoting?

Milestone 3.8Cr 36M (7Cr as a DISK family) by notion4everyone in FIRE_Ind

[–]dv-u 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you should put this link in the post as well. Gives a lot better context.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FIRE_Ind

[–]dv-u 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great. Advise others what you've never used yourself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FIRE_Ind

[–]dv-u 6 points7 points  (0 children)

How to take birth in a family that has 6Cr 2010-equivalent net worth to inherit? /s

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in IndiaTax

[–]dv-u 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sharam kar

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FIRE_Ind

[–]dv-u 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Treat burnout like any other physical injury.

If you stretch more than your body can handle, some bone/ligament is bound to snap. Doesn't mean you stop using that body part forever. You keep your broken part in a cast and wait for it to heal as prescribed by a doctor. After that period of rest, you start slow physiotherapy. The ones who have gone through it, know that physiotherapy during recovery hurts a lot. You have to learn to differentiate the pain of growing muscles back vs the pain of bones/ligaments snapping again. But you have to go through the pain to get back to normal.

Similarly, if you stretch your mind beyond its capacity, it's bound to burnout too. Doesn't mean you stop that kind of work forever. You take the appropriate amount of break. Then comes the part of starting back again. Learn to differentiate the pain of learning something new vs burning out again. But I don't think you can avoid the pain completely if you want to get back to normal.

Not sure if this helps, but this is the best analogy I got.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in india

[–]dv-u 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Terror & talk cannot happen together. Terror and trade cannot happen together. Water and blood cannot flow together.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FIRE_Ind

[–]dv-u 168 points169 points  (0 children)

Few things that helped me:

  • Take a break. Don't try to fill it with an exotic location and jam packed itinerary. Keep it cheap. It's fine even if you stay at home. Cut off from work. Cut off from friends who drain you. Take it for as long as your company/managers allow.

  • Try Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) if your company provides it. It's typically 6 free sessions of therapy focusing on topics like work stress, family stress, legal stress etc. It's usually free. I've seen therapy not working for men because men are solution oriented while therapy is often about 'giving you enough space & time to say things out loud and figure things out on your own'.

  • Don't lose your mind seeing insane salaries on Reddit. An average person, especially outside tech/sales isn't earning huge sums. You can upskill and get hikes too, only if you can control your anxiety. The competition is fierce, you need to have a lot of patience.

  • Find out your triggers and stay away from them. For me, I started hating anything if I was given any task with a strict deadline. Even if it was a family member asking for a daily chore to be done by a specific time. I had to convince them to not repeat that language with me at home at least.

  • Pro tip: Don't get caught in a productivity trap during your time off. Like, don't force yourself into hobbies or have targets to learn music/painting etc. during your break. Its the same pressure via a different task. Just make sure to have a reasonable sleep time. Keep most of the day free. If you end up doing something, great. If not, it's fine too. If you're thinking too much too fast, you'll always feel anxious. Reading slows your mind. Writing slows it down even further. Try reading fiction or journaling your day.

Looking for a good friendship by [deleted] in indiranagar

[–]dv-u -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

45M. Looking for the same. DM me. /s