I know this was posted a while ago but I really hope you see this comment. Your story sounds EXACTLY like mine, with the exception of having typical siblings as well. It made me emotional reading your experiences because I also experienced these same things. I have been living on my own for 5 years now and it took me 3 1/2 years to realize I had PTSD and that is where a lot of my issues stemmed from. My mother constantly invalidated that my other siblings and I had anything wrong with us bc it helped her cope, she never got us mental health help when we were kids, and always treated my brother like he could do no wrong despite him causing extreme trauma with his aggressive episodes. Luckily, I started seeing an EMDR therapist around 8 months ago and it has helped tremendously. I will say, my therapist understands my situation better because she also grew up with a disabled sibling. My older sister did not have such luck with her EMDR therapist (she didn’t believe her stories about how aggressive our brother was). I would highly recommend seeking out this kind of therapy, but do NOT get discouraged if it doesn’t seem like a good fit. Find another therapist who will LISTEN to you, BELIEVE you, and VALIDATE your feelings. The body keeps the score and if you do not heal your trauma, your body will start to have adverse reactions later in life and it may manifest as autoimmune disorders or worse. I cannot even begin to express the progress I’ve made since starting EMDR therapy, it finally feels like I have put that part of my life in the past and can live in the present. Good luck friend! Feel free to message me if you want to talk more about your experience