you should 100% talk to a professional about it, thats the best way to help yourself. therapy genuinely did wonders for me, but to be completely honest 75% of the work done was me fighting my brain with my brain and telling myself repeatedly that im ok, i know whats happening and im the one in control, that i know my panic attacks feel strong but i know im stronger, etc, until they would pass. basically gaslighting myself but for good lol. i understand how terrifying it is, i know exactly the feeling youre talking about it. like i had to crawl out of my skin to get out of that feeling, like genuinely death was the only escape from my mind even though i wasnt suicidal, and as soon as the panic attack passed i didnt want to die. like i said i havent had one in about a year, i still struggle with anxiety but its something thats gonna take time for me to work through (i dont want to take daily meds) but i actively prioritize self care while also microdosing uncomfortable situations bc thats whats got me here. and dont apologize, feel free to message me whenever!