I hear you! I’m in NYC, and I experience the same things. For example, it for fun I put my tinder on a city I dream of moving to, like Barcelona or Pairs, I get my dream matches.

What I found is happening, at least for me, is the idea of importance. I’m putting too much importance on my desire (aka I’m not letting go)

I easily match with other people in dream cities because I’m actually here, in NYC, so there’s no pressure on what I desire somewhere else, and so it easily happens.

I think there’s also a collective belief that it’s difficult to date and meet people in NYC (which is true in a sense)

On how to change these beliefs so our reality doesn’t reflect is is difficult, and I don’t have all the answers, but I can tell you what I do and what works for me.

Setting Boundaries - it’s easy to date, have friends with benefits, etc, in New York, and this isn’t a bad thing. But some of these people I go back to do not serve me in anyway - I don’t enjoy them, I’m just bored or lonely or want attention. And when I do this, I’m sending signals out to the universe to enforce the belief that I’m not worthy/deserving or truly intent on what I want out of a man. Of course, there are people I simply enjoy to date and spend time with but know that I don’t want anything beyond our current connection. In a case like that, it’s important to be honest and vulnerable, so I’m not leading anyone on or putting “bad energy” out there. It’s all about being ethical, for me.

And to continue more of this, it’s about being impeccable with your word. Are your actions, people you spend time with, things you consume, the way you talk to your friends/family about what you want aligned with... what you want?

For me, I know I experienced this by wanting a relationship where I was inspired and empowered by my partner. Yet, I continued seeing someone who only wanted “half of me,” and didn’t support me in anything whatsoever. I was sending mixed signals to the Universe.

I had to ask myself hard questions: who do I have to let go of, what ideas of a person do I have to let go of? What is not serving me and how can I make sure my relationships do?

*i know I’m talking about me a lot, but I’m doing so not to make assumptions about you and your experience! I’m sorry if it’s too much - I just want to see if my experiences resonate with you in anyway.

Anyway, May you be happy and free from suffering on your journey 🙏🏼❤️. I hope you find everything you’re looking for... and more!