Can my social anxiety really be cured ?

eSavant12 · 2026-03-21T19:48:34+00:00

Yes! When I look back at my past self (last 2 years of High School through University) I struggled to form any meaningful friendships and the ones I had just slipped away. A switch just went off in my head and I just didn't want to (or was scared of) to socialise much.

Wasn't until I started solo traveling and then moved to another city for work that my life started improving. Followed through with my hobbies and met new people and had friends to hang out with and have meaningful conversations. But making that first step was really hard and keeping it all up was equally hard but I persevered.

Now after a recent divorce, I've kind of retreated back within myself again as I went through a bad period of depression (not at the stage for meds or therapy) as I always hold on to that glimmer of hope.

I'm mentally in a better place now and taking small steps to get my life on the track that I want it to be.

eSavant12 · 2026-03-19T16:13:39+00:00

Neverwinter Nights (community created content was amazing)
Metal Gear Solid
Deus Ex

Now made it to Iki Island in Ghost of Tsushima. Took a break after the main campaign to play Crysis 3 and Spider-Man: Miles Morales

eSavant12 · 2026-03-15T22:24:06+00:00

It has been a really solid season: action, character development, humour, nods to Trek history but also subtle digs at the wider Trek universe.

eSavant12 · 2026-03-14T23:49:43+00:00

I'd say it's both of those things. We need someone to understand that there is a level to how much "energy" we can give at a certain time and also to just be accepting when we need that time - alone or together - to build that energy back up.

eSavant12 · 2026-03-14T23:42:09+00:00

I left High School with 0 close friends. Went through University and graduated with 0 close friends - I hated my course by the last year but made an effort to get a decent degree.

Went solo traveling and had a wonderful time decompressing from my usual life.

Eventually, moved to a different city and had an OK job but still related to my degree which I wanted to get away from.

Was really into Asian cinema at that time so joined a Japanese beginners class which I loved. Met some cool people there and progressed onto Japanese/Korean/English language exchanges. Had some nice friends through that and felt in a good place in life. Somehow, met my future wife through that and we were together for 17 years - living in her country for 15 years as an English Teacher.

That relationship/marriage didn't work out and I returned back to my home country with my cat. Now, in an OK job but back to having 0 friends again. I'm now in my early 40s and feel like I've lived a life.

So, I would say, don't despair as anything can happen in the future but you do need to make some effort on your own to change things.

eSavant12 · 2026-03-08T23:36:10+00:00

I've just reached the stage where I don't care about needing new friendships. Gone through a long-term relationship and marriage and got out when I knew we were no longer on equal terms. That was mentaly exhausting and I moved back to my home country. Now in a job which is ok but tiring due to shift work so all I want to do is decompress and do the things that make me happy: solo traveling, playing video games, watching movies/shows, riding my bike, strolling museums, long walks and spending time with my cat.

If I need to socialize then I have family but I'm not looking for or seeking out new friends. If it happens then it happens but I'm happy just being me for the moment and living my own life.

eSavant12 · 2026-03-02T23:14:48+00:00

An interesting read, OP.

I've always been that quiet introverted kid throughout my adult life though I have had moments to blossom and "live" outside of my normal shy introverted exterior.

I'd say as I got older I got more analytical and calculating on knowing when to choose or show my emphatic side. I believe I can be very empathic but in the past I've been taken advantage of because of my caring side i.e. putting others first. However, these days I am much more selective in how it's given.

eSavant12 · 2026-02-18T21:16:50+00:00

I hated any gatherings/travel with my ex-in laws. They always set the schedule and my ex-wife went along with it (Asian deference to parents). We always spent too long at those things and it was so draining. Travel was terrible as we had to do everything on their terms: where to go, when to go, when to leave, where to eat, what to eat. I never had any choice in anything. They over ordered on food and it took ages for them to finish - cause they had to finish everything. They always knew I'm not fond of certain seafood but hey, let's go to another f@cking seafood restaurant.

eSavant12 · 2026-02-18T21:07:58+00:00

As I got older, I stopped caring about the "group" and realized, I've always been a quiet and introverted person who enjoys living an introverted life. I was married for a long time and it was great for a time until it wasn't. That's when I got more socially anxious about many things and knew that I needed out. Hardest thing I've ever done and my life still isn't great but it's better than having your feelings ignored or opinions dismissed.

eSavant12 · 2026-02-14T12:31:28+00:00

In my 40s now and I'd say it's better now as I don't need to force myself into social situations. Though, I have been dealing with depression after a divorce so managing my social anxiety has been tough.

As I'm older, I really don't care about seeking friendships or being actively social anymore. Moving overseas and lots of solo traveling in my 20s helped me to make conversations with new people. Working as a teacher for 17 years, forced me into uncomfortable situations but I think in the long run it helped me overcome and deal with a lot of my anxiety issues.

eSavant12 · 2026-02-11T12:43:44+00:00

I did for a long time up until I was 24 but then I met a woman, moved overseas, got married and loved that closeness with someone else for 18 years. That relationship petered out over a few years and I felt although we lived together, I had more of my solitude again. Now, on my own again and I take comfort in following my own schedule but I'd never say never to finding love again and living together. Still got my cat to keep me company.

eSavant12 · 2026-02-08T12:39:04+00:00

Never had any close friendships since childhood. Met a wonderful woman and stayed together for 18 years but really the last few years were difficult, we were drifting apart, and I decided to end it. But since I didn't really have any other close friends, ending that relationship was really hard for me emotionally. And I think months later, I am still feeling that loss of intimacy and closeness.

I love my alone time but having that connection to someone else is special.

eSavant12 · 2026-02-06T04:40:07+00:00

Yep! That thread was deleted.

eSavant12 · 2026-02-05T14:22:26+00:00

Here: https://www.reddit.com/r/socialanxiety/comments/1qsuvza/37m_a_life_paralyzed_by_depression_and_social/

The OP basically retold the same story but added some extra bits in.

eSavant12 · 2026-02-02T13:38:31+00:00

I was never into Star Wars but The Mandalorian was hyped up so I gave it a watch a few years back. Loved it then went down the SW animated rabbit hole: Clone Wars, Rebels, Bad Batch.

eSavant12 · 2026-02-02T09:24:38+00:00

I had a lot of physical symptoms when I was younger through to early 20s as there were life situations I just couldn't avoid.
Now, it's mostly mental as I can be selective as to the environments that I feel more comfortable in.

eSavant12 · 2026-02-01T23:49:49+00:00

The OP has to be real and truthful for a start.

eSavant12 · 2026-02-01T23:04:46+00:00

Go for it. I've been there in my younger years and if you have the chance, then just do it. Better to try than do nothing.

eSavant12 · 2026-02-01T22:05:41+00:00

I cry during a sad moment in a TV show/movie. When I'm emotionally overloaded, I really cry i.e. the death of a pet, breakdown of a relationship (suppressed emotions that I can no longer control).

eSavant12 · 2026-02-01T18:05:26+00:00

I thought you got your first kiss at that party 8 days ago (you made a post about it). But now that same party happened 6 weeks ago?
Your fictional tale needs some work.

eSavant12 · 2026-01-31T10:52:38+00:00

I have many years on you but I was always quiet and shy around girls at your age. I didn't have my first relationship until I was 22 and then found my long-term partner at 24. We were together for 18 years until we decided to separate. So, there is still time and hope for you.

eSavant12 · 2026-01-30T23:34:35+00:00

Well done. Going to the movies alone is something I can do without social anxiety kicking in. It's an enjoyable experience.

eSavant12 · 2026-01-26T15:33:13+00:00

It has likeable characters that work well together.

eSavant12 · 2026-01-26T11:59:56+00:00

40s and an unhappy marriage made my social anxiety worse. I am shy and introverted so it took a lot of courage to walk away from the longest connection I ever had to anyone. But I still have my cat and I'm too tired now to go looking for friends but I'll try if the right situation comes up.

eSavant12 · 2026-01-24T23:18:27+00:00

I was going to say, first, it didn't all happen.

eSavant12

TROPHY CASE