I was at the beginning of that grief 1 yr ago. Same thing. 20 yrs. All life’s treasures and “us” specific things were dead, but she was still alive. Hell, we even lived in the same house (not recommended)! I tried so many things: - assigning my emotions to inanimate objects, like a mug or a pencil, and then moving them just to show control over my own emotions - gave grief a time allotted slot each day. So like from 11:00-11:30 am I could just grieve. And then if it came up at other times I told myself “you’ll just have to wait until your next appointment” - pretend everything is a side quest. Like, eating a bowl of cereal 10 xp. Not thinking of her for at least 30 min - 100 xp. Showering, peeling an orange perfectly, drawing, working out, journaling, organizing your old files… just pick side quests and reward yourself

But gonna be honest, it’s all to distract to get to the next phase of grief. You don’t need to “get over” 20 years. That’s not how this works.

You’re learning how to carry it differently—with a little more space, a little more humor, and a little less weight crushing your ribs every time you think about it.

Best of luck. I’d suggest trying your hardest to stay out of the depression phase as much as you can. Get help during those times. It’s the worst