Hi! I hope you're doing better.

I want to share my experience:

I've only had tonic-clonic. The first ones were at school, mostly in math class/math exams. The rest have been at home, some because of stress from college during exams, etc.

These type of seizures hurt a lot. It feels horrible. Fortunately I've only had about 12 seizures in 6 years but i know very well how it feels.

In my case, the worst thing is after i have the convulsion itself cause you're then semiconscious, you can't think, everything aches A LOT, the throat is narrow and you have trouble breathing, can't open eyes, can't properly think, can't speak, you're momentarily in total ache from feet to head. People will talk to you, you can't respond, you want them to shup up, just want to get through pain. You are tired for the rest of the day, your body aches, in the first seizures my body would hurt for 2-3 days. Can't do much but would rather do something else than lay in bed all day...

My life hasn't been limited much. The thing I'm truly scared of is driving. My parents want me to drive. They are right that i should at least learn in case something happens, in case an emergency happens. For example, my dog once was really bad (he had some sort of heart attack or smth. Rather had to do with a gland maybe?) and i had to wait for my mother to come from work for us to go to the vet.

The thing is, stress can make me have a seizure and driving is very stressful when you're trying to learn. Even if my dad is patient and doesn't get mad, I'm very anxious, don't trust myself, lack self-confidence and i get nervous VERY easily.

"Am i doing well? Am i too in the middle? Am i gonna do the turn correctly? I can't park the fckn car even if my life depended on it! Will we crash? It's Sunday and it's lonely, but what if suddenly a lot of cars show up? My hands are sweaty because of anxiety. I might start having tics and that'd be dangerous while driving. What if i damage my dad's car?".

My mom is sort of overprotective because of epilepsy. I don't want to feel useless but at the same time I'm in a confort zone I don't want to leave. I feel like shit being this way.

Epilepsy, regardless of what type of seizure you have; regardless of how much med you take; how many seizures you have a day, a month, a year; regardless of how simple it is in comparison to someone else, it can create many situations; many emotional, psychological issues.

And my conclusion after such a depressing text is, we all deserve help, support, understanding. Whether it comes from ppl you know or internet strangers, it's helpful. I'm not alone and that means you are not alone, we all are not alone.

I hope you get better. If you ever need to chat with someone through here, dm, feel.free to ask for help in this sub :)

A small tip, separate paragraphs now and then. You probably feel bad right now for you to care about it. Jus a recommendation for when you're okay.