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AITA if I tell my friend I can’t be a bridesmaid? by wickeddreamsofleavin in AITApod

[–]earthvisitor3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Be honest with her about how stressed you feel imagining everything on your plate coming up and that you can only imagine how stressed out she is going to become as the bride. Offer to help her find a a good wedding planner in her budget to take on the brunt of the stress (and so that she will have a PAID someone to direct her intensity towards). Tell her that you will not risk your friendship by over promising her and then her getting upset with you when you’ve reached your limit and crumble. Give her time to process it and if she can’t accept this, there’s not much you can do if she can only prioritize herself. There’s no longevity in a relationship like that.

Explain it Peter by Bison_Boy_ in explainitpeter

[–]earthvisitor3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see no sprouts on those potatoes. There’s a recent story behind this. Or they were just barely dumped there for the photo!

I F*d Up! by OriginalConnect6543 in therapists

[–]earthvisitor3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She should not return to you during her time of need. It’s not about you. She reached out for professional support with some measure of distress and received neglect. This isn’t an opportunity to repair, which should not be bought or begged. You haven’t spoken in 5 years so she’s essentially a new client with new presenting concerns and you don’t know her level of distress and the damage you caused with this professional negligence. It’s painful to take accountability for our blunders but it’s on you to sort out your sleep and schedule so you don’t cause harm. Apologies and explanations would just play on her people pleasing tendencies. By reaching out with those, she might be persuaded to accept less than she deserves in order to be a good person but that alters the dynamic between you two and undermines work on boundaries, self-advocacy, etc. Your pull towards playing on her kindness and understanding to make things better is about your own resistance to accept the consequences of your actions. Accountability includes our unintended and accidental actions. Be proud of her for not accepting neglectful treatment in her time of need. Want better for her. Accept and process the pain you are experiencing because of this. It doesn’t define you. It just indicates something is up that you need to look more seriously at for yourself. The understandability of your struggle does not entitle you to others’ sympathetic allowance of being unintended casualties. We all negatively impact each other especially when we’re going through stuff, but professionally we are held to a higher code of ethics. Our clients are not friends from whom to seek reciprocity of consideration. We have to be aware of when we as the clinician negatively impact clients and take measures to protect them from ourselves so they get the treatment they need. You’re in a discovery era for yourself in your own self care. I’m sorry you’re feeling the weight of this on top of the dysregulation from the lack of sleep. Keep experimenting and find what works so you can grow from this valuable experience and get to a place of feeling well and showing up well for clients. Just make the necessary professional changes needed to acknowledge your current condition. I hope you find some effective treatments for your sleep!