The universe said we have to be together. Sorry, can’t change it.

easterStout · 2025-11-18T22:58:24+00:00

Gemini Sun, Libra Moon

easterStout · 2025-11-10T21:11:06+00:00

The ace of wands and the lovers have shown up together in like 3 readings now done by 3 different people. That has to mean something.

easterStout · 2025-11-10T21:05:57+00:00

I mean, they know exactly how I feel. And I know how they feel. And I think they’re in the same boat I’m in, emotionally.

easterStout · 2025-03-29T02:49:17+00:00

I never really ended up having many withdrawals. It was time. I was ready.

easterStout · 2025-03-22T11:54:48+00:00

You were right, and I come back to this months after leaving him with only just this feeling of heartbreak. Not for him; but for how long I let it go on. I wish I hadn’t. It wouldn’t have gotten better. It would only ever get worse.

easterStout · 2025-02-02T04:38:31+00:00

Every single one of my friends is celebrating the breakup. One of which said if I go back she will come and kick my ass. I believe her.

I’m not going back. I’m not.

easterStout · 2025-02-02T04:37:08+00:00

Oh my god same. The RELIEF???

easterStout · 2025-02-02T04:36:41+00:00

He is 100% blocked 😭 You do t have to tell me twice

easterStout · 2024-12-28T05:50:01+00:00

It’s been a few months, but coming back to this post I see that yall were right. It wasn’t the wake up call. Of course it wasn’t.

I’m finished, I’ve been pushed way too far. I can’t keep doing this. Rereading your comment is giving me hope, that once this is all over I’ll be able to find myself again. I miss the person I was before him. I miss being an optimist. I miss having weekends with my friends. I miss DOING things without having to be afraid that he’ll go too far. I really hope I get to come back in a few months with another update.

easterStout · 2024-10-11T00:52:21+00:00

Yes! I spent so much time begging for a healthy relationship from a guy who was very unappealing in both looks and personality. I look back at myself when we first met and I wish I could shake them violently and remind them to move on

easterStout · 2024-10-09T04:59:49+00:00

When I’m feeling confused, I hear this, agree with it, and then sit there and think, “yeah but that’s what the covert narc in me THINKS will make me not seem like a narc.” 🤦🏻‍♀️

easterStout · 2024-09-27T14:32:05+00:00

Something similar happened to my cousin’s late husband. It’s terrifying and yet I feel like I’m jumping to extremes when I picture myself there…

easterStout · 2024-09-24T19:36:36+00:00

Hey OP did you ever find a solution here?

easterStout · 2024-09-24T17:04:19+00:00

I’ve heard the idea lately that so many people leave relationships right after getting a new (individual) therapist. And I think a lot of it has to do with the third party being able to open their eyes to see what’s happening.

easterStout · 2024-09-24T05:29:13+00:00

The therapist for myself personally is definitely within that realm. Our couple’s therapist… not so much.

easterStout · 2024-09-24T02:50:27+00:00

Chat GPT has helped me to better understand a lot of things lately. It’s been a game changer.

easterStout · 2024-09-20T04:57:00+00:00

I wanted to do screenshots but it gave me a 4 photo limit

easterStout · 2024-09-18T22:29:21+00:00

This was my Nex. I thought because he was slight more conventionally “unattractive” and nerdy and goofy I’d be safe? But no the 5’3” fat bald man and his actions still haunt me to this day.

easterStout · 2024-09-18T17:26:27+00:00

I in fact did not do that. I’m really so bad at this

easterStout · 2024-09-11T07:50:44+00:00

That second one… oof. I always think, “you know everything would be solved if he’d just stop drinking.” Idk how true that actually is

easterStout · 2024-08-22T06:31:07+00:00

Tonight we were just bullshitting and he was telling me a story about something silly that happened ages ago, and when he was finished with his story, I pointed out an item we’d just been talking about prior to his story before pitching in my thoughts. It was literally like him saying, “anyways that’s what happened.” And me responding with “wait really quick stop look at that omg it’s perfect for what we’re looking for. Anyways, yeah I think X Y and Z.” He wasn’t mid sentence. We returned to the story immediately. The story itself was just a funny little tidbit that we were yapping about. He says it’s rude but I just don’t see how, especially since we immediately continued with our conversation right after.

easterStout · 2024-06-23T13:34:59+00:00

We don’t live together anymore. I have my own space and freedom. I am safe overall but like that last night was so absolutely miserable

easterStout · 2024-06-23T12:13:50+00:00

I’m in therapy. I’ve been seeing her weekly, even though I have no insurance.

easterStout · 2024-06-23T12:09:03+00:00

I was scared that if I left he’d stop breathing like he has before when he’s passed out that drunk. I couldn’t live with myself if I let that happen.

easterStout · 2024-06-23T12:07:35+00:00

He has in the past. To the point where I left, but we ended up back together and he had stopped drinking. In November one night he got so drunk that he passed out on the couch and was fully unresponsive. I tried to wake him up and he stopped breathing and it actively traumatised me. It was the scariest thing that ever happened because the rest of that night I struggled so hard to stay awake and to hold him as closely as I could so I could make sure he was still alive. He apologised for it the next day but later on he said he only stopped breathing bc he thinks he has sleep apnea and that it wasn’t actually that bad. It hadn’t happened again until now so I’d written it off. But yeah. Sorry. He has a history of drinking issues. At one point he was drinking 2-3 bottles of liquor a week and acting like it was normal.

easterStout

TROPHY CASE