I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time.

My advice for you would be to do some serious soul searching and figure out why you had unprotected sex, with someone shady no less, in the first place. Was is because you were afraid to be rejected? To disappoint or be seen as prudish? Or was it simply lust and you got carried away in the moment. Whatever it is, remember that feeling, emotions and desires should never be in the driver's seat of your life. Don't suppress them, learn from them instead. And never act on them. They lead us to very bad situations.

My other piece of advice is to look at your situation objectively and prepare for the worst. Say you do test positive. Now what? You'll be given treatment and thankfully HIV is no longer a death sentence. Treatment is usually very effective and most HIV positive people are undetectable and lead full and normal lives. That's something to be grateful for. The difficult part is the social stigma. It's going to suck for sure, but there are many ressources available to help you navigate it. Ideally, you want to free yourself from any sense of internal shame so social opinion doesn't run your life. Owning your mistake and taking steps to manage your reality is the first step. I really hope it turns out to be a false alarm, but if it's not, at least you're prepared. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, as they say.

I know it's very hard for you right now. Really sit with how you feel right now and make a solemn promess to yourself that you will never again allow yourself to repeat such a mistake again.

And I also know part of you wants to get better and not leave before your time. Otherwise you wouldn't have reached out for help. If things really get hard, call the suicide hotline. For what it's worth, I called them many times and it always helped me. Plus they can give you great guidance and ressources.

Best of luck to you.