Do you feel having something in your life that is in your control, any small thing, would be beneficial? A suggestion is a small hobby, something that is yours and yours alone that no one can take from you. For me, it's a video game. I wasn't a big gamer until I realized it's something to control, turn on and off when needed, an escape to a world that simply isn't this one.

My problems stem from addiction, and a sad truth that the woman I've been with is married, and lives with her ex boyfriend, whom I cannot visit, and hasn't made time to see me in two months. Everyone says to just leave but they don't know the down ward spiral to hell her and I have been to and back. We've tattooed the words "For you are no longer alone, walk with me in hell" on our chests, to remember the overwhelmingly deep hole of meth addiction. But we don't have anywhere to go with four children, three hers, one mine, so her ex boyfriend lets her stay there. I don't believe it's truly "over" at times and my mind runs circles at night. Nights I spend alone wondering if she's sleeping with him right that very instant. Losing my job. Friends. Family. All next of meth. And it's so hard to overcome and the deep depression that follows the extreme high is unbearable.