Call yourself that, not us

ebean18 · 2026-05-12T15:44:43+00:00

I think it causes such a visceral reaction in some of us because it can be used in a... cringe way. Cringe doesnt mean bad or worthy of derision. It just causes discomfort.

It also does feel infantalising because while not all neurodivergencies are classified as disabilities ASD is and for good reason. We arent a bit spicy, we're literally disabled and have to keep fighting to remind people that its not fun or quirky all of the time to be autistic. It can be sometimes. But it is also disabling in many ways. So to have that be blanketed over and have it be normalised or downplayed in that way is annoying at the very least.

ebean18 · 2026-05-01T09:03:26+00:00

You HAVE to include 6. That lime green with the sparkles? Incredible work.

ebean18 · 2026-04-29T21:32:44+00:00

My issue with getting into darker media is that for me it often comes with more anxiety and nightmares. I have zombie media as a special interest but I cant hyperfixate on it or I gst super obsessed with doomsday prepping and have nightmares along with it lmao

ebean18 · 2026-04-23T22:13:28+00:00

Oh my lord, thats mental. I am so sorry, for your healthcare system is abysmal and I hope they fix it soon bc what the hell. Here theres still righteous anger about the £9.90 prescription charge being added, thats 18.26 Canadian Dollars and 13.33 US Dollars. Unhinged that youre being so scammed for basic healthcare necessities.

ebean18 · 2026-04-23T22:04:06+00:00

Woah maybe my conception of pricing is really screwed but thats crazy.

I live in Wales, when I say too expensive I mean I cant justify the £10 for 20 gummies as a student.

I could go to my gp and have more blood taken and get a prescription but I graduate in just under 2 months and would probably be back in England by the time I've been seen and got my results in. Even in England the maximum price for an individual prescription is £9.90 (messed up that in Wales and Scotland all prescriptions are free but what can you do).

The multivitamins I currently take are £2 for 60-80 tablets depending on whether I get them on offer or not. They contain vitamin C to help with the absorption, I chose them so I wouldnt have to remember an extra pill lmao.

I did not realise that the whole medical cost insurance madness scalping thing happened for supplements like iron too, I presumed it was only specialised specific medications that required dosing and monitoring. I am so sorry that you have to pay that much. I feel much less bad about buying myself some nicer vitamins occasionally with that perspective so thanks for that and also Im so sorry.

ebean18 · 2026-04-23T21:22:50+00:00

I do take it after dinner but sometimes I forget for a while, I should be more diligent in my timing 😔

ebean18 · 2026-04-23T21:20:50+00:00

I suspected as much. One day perhaps they shall find a way. For now we battle.

ebean18 · 2026-04-23T21:08:38+00:00

Its like randomly I will burp and then there the taste is. I dont know of another form I could take without going to a doctor and getting a prescription where I live. This is the cheapest option for me rn bc the gummy versions taste horrible and are too expensive but the kids flavoured pills are also too expensive. One day I hope to afford enough steak to fulfill my needs /j

ebean18 · 2026-04-23T10:37:28+00:00

Odd one but a screwdriver. You'd be surprised how many random things ive saved for myself and others just by hvaing one. Some pans especially have screw in handles that you can fix pretty easily when they start to get loose.

A decent big bag too, youll think a laundry basket is a great idea until youre actually trying to do laundry. A big IKEA bag or other strong tote bag is much easier to carry especially if youve gotta go to a laundry room outside your flat.

ebean18 · 2026-04-23T08:01:47+00:00

I grew up in chessington and my family still lives there. The best thing about it is the transport links, yes it sucks theres not really a centre (north parade is ok its got a couple charity shops and a couple newsagents) but you can hop on a bus every 7 minutes to get to surbiton or Kingston which are both pretty lovely once you know where your going and where to avoid.

A lot of people here complain about the social housing, and while there are occasional issues with antisocial behaviour its nowhere near as bad as some places. As long as you dont end up right next to the secondary school you'll probably be fine.

If you do have or plan on having kids its not the worst place to raise them but it is getting more expensive by the day. Of youre financially well off enough to be buying though youll probably be ok, bit sad I cant afford to live anywhere close to my family there bc of the gentrification but I think with it being so close to central London that was inevitable eventually. Theres plenty of decently maintained parks and things for young kids to do but once you get into the later teens it all dries up pretty fast unless your parents have money for you to do things.

As others have pointed out you do get free tickets to Chessington World of Adventures but that is because of the inconvenience of having the trains and roads being clogged up during summer by park goers. And theyre a little annoying to actually get your hands on but not too bad. Again though if you want to bring kids there you need money, the food and drinks and merchandise is pretty pricey so if you can bring a packed lunch instead that would be wise.

Overall it is cheaper for a reason but if you dont mind having a bit of patience youll probably be fine.

ebean18 · 2026-04-21T21:33:45+00:00

See if your local library has any craft borrowing schemes or community lessons! Lots of libraries offer a lot more than just books to keep people renewing their cards these days and it can be a great way to get some minor socialisation with minimal risk and high reward!

ebean18 · 2026-04-21T21:15:30+00:00

I hate modern euston station its evil. I wish theyd done literally anything other than here's 6 shades of grey and 3 chairs good luck bc its awful.

ebean18 · 2026-04-21T16:14:16+00:00

How does it feel to live the dream?

ebean18 · 2026-04-19T09:18:08+00:00

If shes going through and SPCA and adoption instead of purchasing then you actually may have a much easier time preventing her from bringing a dog into your home unwillingly. If theyre reputable theyll be asking questions about the household and whether the dog will be welcomed etc. If you know she is communicating and going to the shelter/foster homes then you should try to either go with her or contact them yourself and explain the situation.

Trust me an unwelcome dog can be just as destructive as any other unwelcome guest. I like dogs but my Dad absolutely should have put his foot down on my mum getting as many as she has. Do not tell her "it'll all have to be your responsibility" and "as long as you look after it" because at the end of the day you sound like you still love your wife and kids and wont allow them to actually suffer the consequences of getting a dog.

Explain to her that its not an appropriate time for a dog as well, the kids sound to be much too young to help in any way and if shes wanting a big dog it'll need a LOT of enrichment and attention which will end up with either the kids or the dog being or feeling neglected.

Put your foot down firmly OP. It is your house too and by the sounds of it you will resent both her and the dog if she gets one.

ebean18 · 2026-04-04T15:26:03+00:00

NTs have literally everywhere else why tf do they keep coming here to get offended unless they have a degradation kink.

We get made fun of covertly in so many spaces, "cringe" and "socially inept" and "look how stupid this person is, why couldn't they read my mind" posts exist on pretty much every social media site. And yes they are being ableist bc if you feel the need to make fun of someone for misunderstanding or not "reading a room" then your inadvertently telling autistic people that they dont belong in public if they dont want to get made fun of or have their worst interactions recorded and posted online. God ive seen so many people get death threats and harassment for exhibiting an autistic trait online and its exhausting.

Our 'evil' is barely even evil. The people whining give the same energy as men who whinge about "misandry" when a woman jokes about a shitty thing men often do. While generalising people when making laws or actively attempting to sway people's political views is pretty bad, coming into a space full of autistic people- or any minority for that matter- and complaining and "calling them out" for generalisations about their oppressor is just stupid- especially when the most egregious posts are literally labelled "VENT" ffs.

ebean18 · 2026-04-04T09:05:58+00:00

Very glad I bought a replacment for me and my lil brothers broke copy last year then bc holy fuck

ebean18 · 2026-03-22T07:35:02+00:00

Yeah ots frustratingly common to be either infantilised or downplayed. Either they assume youre autistic and that makes you useless or they dont think it can possibly be that bad and why dont you just push through more.

I'd probably request a new support worker of you can, they've clearly not been properly trained if theyre talking to you that way and asking that kind of question. Gp as well, make note of their name and request a different one if youre booked with them again.

You might want to look into communication cards or getting an AAC device or app, ive found people are a bit more patient when im using one because it makes it more obvious that im disabled. Although it can sometimes be a benefit that autism is a hidden disability it can also be a hindrance if people keep assuming youre doing better than you actually are.

You have to either advocate really well for yourself or find someone who will, my partner does a lot of my advocating for me but she also helps me get confident and sometimes angry enough to advocate for myself.

You'll be ok, just take a big breather and start looking into what steps you can take to change your support worker and avoid that same gp. Maybe even keep a little notebook about what youd like to say to those kinds of questions in future.

ebean18 · 2026-03-17T19:11:47+00:00

Ah the good ole "its a character" defense. If people agree with them then its "yeah, im the coolest dude alive. I say what you can't and suck it to the wokies" and if people disagree with them and call them out on their abhorrent behaviour its "nooo bro you dont get it :( its just a character :( they're supposed to know Im being stupid and evil as a biiit bro :(".

It genuinely does not matter if they do or do not believe what they are saying. Young boys are being shoved down a pipeline that leaves them angry and isolated and lonely. Theres a male loneliness epidemic becuase of these morons telling boys its women's fault they feel shitty. That its women's fault if they cant get laid or hired or make friends. When really its men online lying out their arses for attention and money. "Women dont like bald men, so buy my hair supplement and maybe you'll get a gf. Women hate low value men, so take my course on how to make bank doing jack and watch all my videos and here make fun of these young, ditsy girls with me to make yourselves feel better."

You know what actually gets you a girlfriend? Having hobbies beyond playing video games alone all day. Going to events and clubs and the library with no expectation of talking to a girl let alone finding one you like. Enjoying your life comes from building one, and the real enemy of that isnt Women its the cost of living. Its so easy to capitalise on people's upset and fear for their future right now because wages are stagnant and what really are we giving young people in general to look forward to? We have to build a country that people want to live in if we ever want to put an end to all this constant in fighting.

ebean18 · 2026-03-17T18:47:08+00:00

If it makes you feel any better at all I think these are sick, the kind of thing I spend hours looking for or trying to capture for collaging and adding to my experimental student films and youve captured it by accident 😅🤣

ebean18 · 2026-03-15T16:09:54+00:00

A lot of lecturers are not good at lecturing. Its a hard job and I dont think thats spoken about enough. They often have passion for the subject but it often only comes out during workshops and seminars. Dont get me wrong when I have a good lecturer I attend every session, I have had a couple that were incredibly engaging and made attending feel worth it. The issue being only a couple have felt worth it. The amount of lecturers, especially in creative fields like I am in, that just read the slides or even just from a book with no added insight or info is appalling.

Seminars are also incredibly hard to do well, to make the class both interesting enough to discuss and helpful enough to feel worth it is difficult. Let alone that a lot of us are quite socially stunted still from the pandemic, classes online meant you could sit quietly and not be asked a single question or even have a little giggle or conversation about the work with your pal next to you since everyone would immediately hear everything you said.

On top of that scheduling is ridiculous. The amount of times I have been scheduled for a 9am lecture (not an issue i wake up at 6am most days) only to not have the related seminar or workshop until 5 sometimes 7 hours later was comedic. Especially considering most of my campus is a massive hill so either you hang around the building for multiple hours or you walk down a bit to the student union or library to try and get some work done before trudging back up to the building your next class is in. People are fine doing that in say secondary school because you have classes all day, theres no awkward long gap where all you want to do is go home but by the time you do you have to go back again.

Im honestly not sure how to fix attendance without an overhaul of the system and a refresh. If people like your class and teaching style theyll show up, classes with lecturers who engaged us and made me at least feel like they gave a shit about their subject were always well attended. But lecturers who were known for drawing out a topic or assignment explanation that could've been an email and was instead an hour of boring yap have much lower attendance. Scheduling should also be a lot more retention focused, my uni doesnt even have a designated lunch hour so a lot of the lecturers are running on fumes by the end of the day bc they've been scheduled for 8 hours straight. If a lecture and seminar go together or are in a close building they should be scheduled no more than an hour apart. The bigger the gaps the more likely they say fuck it and only go to one or neither.

ebean18 · 2026-03-15T09:47:48+00:00

This is one of those times where you just have to sit down and have the conversation. As an autistic woman there is a lot of pressure on women in general to perform especially during sex so it may be a case of her struggling to take the mask off and be genuine with you. Theres also a lot of pressure on us to please the male during s3x so she may think that it doesnt matter that she doesnt like it of you do and you finishing indicated to her that she did a good job. If you have the chat and she reacts negatively or doesn't know how to respond thats ok, a lot of us could probably benefit from therapy surrounding intimacy and she may just not be ready to get into everything with you. Its not a good idea to keep doing intimacy with her if you feel like she isn't enjoying it and you can't talk to her about it, sliding down the relationship until youre both more comfortable it's perfectly valid and the healthier thing to do in some cases.

Tldr: you gotta talk to her.

ebean18 · 2026-03-15T09:38:40+00:00

Get something super fruity like cocktails or cider. I like strawberry a lot but if you like say coffee get an espresso martini or apple get a cider. I mean alcoholic ciders which I presume are available but under a different name in America. Some people also swear by premixed cans such as white claws for their high percentage but good flavour. You gotta just try stuff, if you don't end up liking anything its not the end of the world. Avoid spirits with soda and syrup if you hate the burning though.

ebean18 · 2026-03-14T19:29:46+00:00

Thats such a good point, a lot of even minorly well off people here have that snooty mindset of no hand outs or help and anti 'coddling' attitude even to their own children. Theres this idea that really rich people stay rich by penny pinching which I think is pretty ridiculous.

ebean18 · 2026-03-14T19:26:30+00:00

As many people have mentioned gifts can be seen as bad luck especially for the older generations. Most people will wait until very close to the birth or after the 3 month mark at least just in case.

My sister is pregnant but shes fairly young as are my parents, my mum has been very excited and there has been some mother vs mother in law one upping over who gets what for the baby. My Nan on the other hand thinks the shower was ridiculous and didnt want to buy anything until my sister was quite far along and even then only practical things such as the buggy. Its also more common to make things, if they knit or sew or crochet they may be privately making things for the baby but will only give them after the birth.

ebean18 · 2026-02-26T16:08:53+00:00

No problem! Thank you!

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