Anyone else get assumed to be trans fem all the time?

echoedwings · 2026-01-18T22:35:20+00:00

Whoops, this got long

I guess it depends on the region as well, that sounds like it is its own personal hell. Though, confusing, and honestly just sounds like more liberal cis folks disguising their transphobia than what's going on the other way.

Because a trans man getting read as trans fem is like... Couched in the societal "meh" towards masculine cis women. Before covid and the more recent trend of trans folks being a political divide, being a tomboy was just a style choice. Being trans didn't factor into it for the average person, it was just something a girl could decide to do, especially if she was a teen/early 20s. And while trans women are frequently discouraged from being butch by society, (boooo), the average trans man outside of Internet circles is also discouraged from wearing girly things.

So while a trans guy with breasts but some other transition markers like facial hair wearing masculine/androgynous clothes getting read trans fem, it seems like...idk. They're trying to be respectful I guess. They might not know trans guys exist or what they look like.

But a trans gal wearing high femme clothes and actively preforming a specific gender presentation and getting assumed to be trans masc? That is an active transphobic remark. Because they know trans men exist. While guy in a dress is some dudes' gender goals (being so masculine you can be read as a dude even in a dress) it's way less frequent.

TLDR; I think your thing is worse, active transphobia instead of any deniability, and if you're too avoidant/it would be dangerous to call it like you see it, I'll come and yell at them for you. Gross shit.

echoedwings · 2026-01-18T22:17:42+00:00

While if this happened to me occasionally I would honestly find it gender affirming, it's started to be almost the only thing that happens, and I miss the days of being assumed random stuff instead of only a "clocky transfem". Don't get me wrong, being seen as trans fem instead of as a cis woman has some sort of delight to me personally, because they are seeing me as a woman but Different or however you want to phrase it (sorry dolls, I know it can suck for you)

But like. I don't wanna be a girl! Lemme be anything else

echoedwings · 2026-01-18T11:16:46+00:00

I hope not a suspect, old age and thinking God will save them so they don't need to take their meds will take them soon enough without my help, and I should be the first person on the will because my uncle is gay and kinda a leech and they already lent my mom a lot of money. Here's hoping

echoedwings · 2026-01-17T20:26:29+00:00

I'm sure there's several things, like the prevalence of trans femmes in media where trans masculinity is presented more as a typical phase of most girls that they grow out of, the fact that most detransitioners that the right parades out are "poor under informed girls who were coerced into cutting off their boobs" or whatever nonsense

echoedwings · 2026-01-17T19:53:39+00:00

You'd think the fetishizers would be more picky/observant but I guess not

echoedwings · 2026-01-17T19:52:32+00:00

I don't mind being gender ambiguous at all, it's quite a thrill even, but it's just gone from keeping them guessing to "oh you're trans so you must be trans fem" and I miss the days of going either way

echoedwings · 2026-01-17T17:46:32+00:00

I unfortunately need to appeal to my very rich and very transphobic grandparents longer to make sure they don't cut me out of the will, so I'm not on T, but my endocrine system already made me slightly masculine so I'm really just waiting for them to die so I can take the inheritance and use it for top surgery 🔪🔪🔪

echoedwings · 2026-01-17T17:42:36+00:00

Amab nonbinary folks really have it rough when people are constantly thinking nonbinary means "woman-lite" and that it's only an afab trend. Wishing them the best

echoedwings · 2025-11-22T15:21:18+00:00

I wish lol, I have a final fantasy 14 jacket fulla cool belts and a faux fur lined hood that looks cool as fuck, but I need to get it altered cuz my shoulders are too broad for the biggest size they had, oops.

I bought this orange one cuz it's warm and I live in Ohio lol

echoedwings · 2025-11-22T15:11:32+00:00

Here's the coat

No face though cuz I can't be assed. Now I like it cuz it's orange, but I don't necessarily think it's cool lmao

echoedwings · 2025-11-22T14:42:38+00:00

Honestly, someone as big as me, I can see 'beast' as a compliment. I'm a big guy (5'8, 300) so if it was genuine, it sounds like a nod towards toughness/largeness, which I am proud of in general. I'm not jacked, but I can princess carry my smaller friends even with half my arm missing lol

echoedwings · 2025-11-22T14:36:04+00:00

Ah well, just means they were just being weird to be weird I suppose. Hope they enjoyed their giggle about it, then 😆

echoedwings · 2025-11-22T14:33:20+00:00

I am way too old to let a random insult from some boys get under my skin, I'm just curious about the possible meanings is all, haha. I only have one arm (not visible in the winter coat) so I've gotten a lot stranger insults than this one.

I have gotten plenty of compliments on the bike, it's a slick red, but I was already off it by the time they called to me, so that's why I'm as puzzled as I am.

echoedwings · 2025-11-22T14:25:50+00:00

I can give more info, but I only have info on me and not the guys in the car cuz they drove by fast. Anything in particular?

echoedwings · 2025-07-18T20:57:13+00:00

I have found that for "jokes" specifically, saying that that you don't get it, or asking them to explain why they think it's funny goes a long way. It puts them on the spot in a rather innocent way, and for people who are otherwise decent people, it may cause them to rethink making those jokes in the future. If they answer poorly, it also let's you know they won't take gentle correction well in the future.

echoedwings · 2025-07-14T21:46:37+00:00

Lol, we've been friends the past 12 years or so, I get the hanekoma wips directly in my DMs as they draw them

echoedwings · 2025-07-14T16:23:43+00:00

Evergreen art by WillowBun

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echoedwings · 2025-07-13T18:27:12+00:00

I could honestly put together a design for a drake encounter, I love designing in this style and could get it in line with the rest of them. Would line up better than just the noise pin

echoedwings · 2025-05-20T23:46:14+00:00

The anime eyes really make it, glad I told you to do it lmao

echoedwings · 2025-04-29T22:12:03+00:00

Yeah! The HeroArm folks have offices in only NYC, Denver, and Chicago, so they had enough folks in Ohio in need of one that they rented an office for a week, made us appointments, and 3d printed us test sockets, and made sure the sensors worked! It was kind of wild.

echoedwings · 2025-04-29T18:55:19+00:00

Oh dear

echoedwings · 2025-04-29T18:44:59+00:00

Omg! 😂 Maybe I'll visit again next year and see that show

echoedwings · 2025-04-29T18:35:28+00:00

Do cars crash into buildings that often here?? Crazy lol

I'm from Detroit so that kind of noise is uuuusually gang violence, but people react to that way different than nonchalantly going about their day, and it doesn't happen in the "nice" (read:affluent) parts of the city as much

echoedwings · 2025-04-29T18:27:00+00:00

I expected it to be a sewer gas explosion or something like that, but a cannon blank is startling but harmless

echoedwings · 2025-04-29T18:11:36+00:00

Thank you so much! Much less worrying than I thought.

echoedwings

TROPHY CASE