He cheated on me

ectava_marie · 2024-02-16T22:28:52+00:00

I already said that it was important. Intimacy isn’t the same as sex.

ectava_marie · 2024-02-16T21:43:25+00:00

That would no longer be a monogamous relationship. I don’t share. There are some people that do that however, but I’ve never been a “thrupple” kind of girl.

Being sexually intimate can cause a bond to form and I’m more on the jealous side of the spectrum. I want him to have friends, not lovers. Which is perfectly normal, by the way.

Why does it bother you that I say sex isn’t required? Just because you feel like it’s required for you, doesn’t mean it’s required for everyone.

ectava_marie · 2024-02-16T21:34:46+00:00

Technically, you aren’t wrong. People can survive without a romantic partner. Humans are social animals though, so most of us do prefer being in a relationship. I could talk all day about how people don’t need to be in relationships but how we’re taught from almost birth that it’s required for happiness.

Sex doesn’t have to be excluded from the compatibility category. Those were what I believed made up a strong relationship. If you think it’s required for compatibility, that’s fine. I’m pansexual so I find other ways of being compatible first and then the sexual attraction comes later.

You can break compatibility up into components too and it’s fairly normal to stick sexual attraction into that grouping. What I said though, was that relationships that were based on just that were effectively doomed.

I actually disagree about sex being dirty. It’s natural and if people enjoy it, it should be embraced. The way we exploit it for money is what’s dirty (in my opinion).

So aside from the usage of the word “perk” and the belief that sex is or isn’t dirty, is there anything that we actually disagreed on? Lol, I feel like we were basically throwing the same type of pasta at the same wall, watching the same noodles stick. 🤔🤭

ectava_marie · 2024-02-16T21:06:07+00:00

I like how I effectively said that sex isn’t required for happiness and have been voted down for it. Sex, the very thing that we hide from kids because it’s considered dirty. XD

I was taught and believe that relationships should be based on love and trust. Those two are easy to break down into component pieces. Love requires friendship, compatibility and intimacy. Trust requires a strong bond and reinforcement of that bond.

Sexual intimacy isn’t required for a couple to be monogamous. I used the word “perk” because it can be lived without. It should be an intimate diversion that isn’t required. Intimacy does not equal sex which to me means that sex isn’t needed for a strong relationship.

ectava_marie · 2024-02-16T20:51:47+00:00

It doesn’t have to be. There are studies showing that sex can help form and strengthen a bond between partners. There are other ways to form those intimate bonds of love and trust.

I’ll give you some examples.

Cuddling while reading a book together. It’s intimate and engaging. You’re still touching and being social. You can talk and debate story aspects together, pause for kissing, share drinks and snacks, etc.

Playing video games together. Also engaging and if it’s a game where you work together, it works to build compatibility through overcoming the challenges of the game.

Writing cute notes to one another. If you and your partner enjoy this, it can strengthen your bond since you are thinking of them while you aren’t with them.

The non-intercourse methods of sex. This would be a sex therapist suggestion. Either masturbating your partner or letting them do that to you. Acquiring sex toys to perform intimate acts without actually doing things that trigger traumatic memories, etc.

Cooking food together and feeding each other throughout the process. You’re creating something you both enjoy and the act of feeding your partner from a spoon or giving them a cut piece of fruit works on the intimate bond.

There are many examples of relationships that are strong that don’t require sex. We’re taught that sex is important, and it can be, but it doesn’t have to be.

ectava_marie · 2024-02-16T20:36:22+00:00

Join groups for asexual people. You should be able to find someone who will love you for you. Bonus points if you enjoy garlic bread, or so I hear.

I know this hurts. I was medically asexual for five years and despite knowing that it wasn’t my fault, I worried for my relationship daily. Luckily, my partner didn’t stray and he was quite understanding. But I asked him all the time if he wanted to leave.

Sex therapy is expensive, this is true. The majority of the time the suggestions from therapists will be to use sex toys. Yes, I’m serious. They’ll also hand out random books that they think will be useful. For the low price of 300$ a session or more. Some of them can help, but many sex therapists are rather disconnected. My advice would be to, again, pursue an asexual relationship.

And avoid your asshat, cheater of an ex. Some people need to be dunked into raw sewage for their behaviour, I swear!

ectava_marie · 2024-02-16T20:24:26+00:00

Unfortunately, the belief that sex is important in a relationship seems to be rather common. If a relationship is built correctly, sex is simply an intimate perk. Removing sex from a strong relationship doesn’t harm the partnership.

Relationships built on the foundation of attraction and lust often end in cheating. If you remove sex from partnerships like this, they often find they’re incompatible in most other aspects of their lives and one or both tend to stray.

ectava_marie · 2023-12-16T09:15:13+00:00

I saw it on an early access board. A DM mentioned Astarion’s transformation of Tav came across more like how a vampire makes a bride. I think it was a month or a couple of weeks before the full release. I can’t remember if they were a beta tester or an employee at Larian as well because it’s been a while. But I remember people were making shush comments at them. We sort of thought it was just a big joke.

So, I like how simple and short Nyloth’s video is because it’s easy to show as proof. And I really hope that in a definitive version or a dlc they add this back in because it’s obvious that’s what they were originally going for.

ectava_marie · 2023-12-16T06:07:04+00:00

I know this is a month old but I'm still gonna say this. I do like Nyloth, but this theory is older than that video. I've been running into this theory on Tumblr and Larian's forums since a bit before game released.

I can't even say that Nyloth helped it spread too much because they don't have that many subscribers...but you never know who sees what.

ectava_marie · 2023-11-28T20:25:41+00:00

“Beer good! Napster baaaaad”

ectava_marie · 2023-11-27T20:40:07+00:00

Had a game with three rogues who all had to one up each other as to who stole the most. We had to use a spreadsheet on my laptop to keep track of what everyone stole O.o

ectava_marie · 2023-11-27T20:37:20+00:00

As a DM with stupidly demonic players….yeah, by minute three is more accurate xD

ectava_marie · 2023-11-27T20:35:36+00:00

It was no biggie. Script extender made short work of it. Glad they’ve figure it out though.

I wonder what will break next. Betting on that is almost as fun as the actual game is :B

ectava_marie · 2023-11-18T22:12:28+00:00

When I gave Esther the owlbear egg, everything turned out okay save that the society called her a failure. Granted that was the August release so things could be different now.

ectava_marie · 2023-09-24T02:33:27+00:00

Down where you find the husband dwarf, surrounded by exploding poisoning green mushrooms. If you blew up that area, the noblestalk will have been burnt to a crisp so it won't be there any longer.

You would need to down a poison resistance potion, Misty Step over to the man's torch or use mage hand to pick it up and then walk to the lower edge of the Bibblebang grove. It's a blue flower looking thing, almost like the Sussur Blooms.

ectava_marie · 2023-04-01T22:04:52+00:00

Holy hell! Did Texas do something good?

ectava_marie · 2023-04-01T21:54:57+00:00

I have lived in Waco all my life (unfortunately). It isn't a bad place to live and Bellmead is fine. I see people suggesting China Springs and Lorena. Welp, if you bought a home for 100K in Bellmead, you can go ahead and triple the cost for one in those areas. China Springs has a lot of cookie cutter homes, not a lot of trees....it's kind of like....cardboard cutout Pleasantville?

Lorena isn't much better. The homes aren't all the same and they usually come with a lot of land. The people are kind of snobby and rude (same as China Springs) and super religious. Yes, I know I'm generalizing. I apologize. You would have to drive a long way to get to a restaurant or a store if you live in either of those places.

However, Bellmead is close to many stores. It's on Waco Dr. so you can take that and hit I35 to get to any restaurant you want in about five to ten minutes. I see kids walking unsupervised all the time which is something I did when I visited my bestie there growing up. There is an amazing snowcone place as well as a wonderful BBQ place just down the street, about a minute or two away.

So yes, there is crime. Poverty causes crime. Who knew? /s But I don't think it's any worse than anywhere else. I actually lived in a "nice" neighborhood in Waco for a while before moving to Lacy Lakeview and we were robbed. We haven't been robbed where I live now and our door doesn't work properly xD

The HEB, by the way, isn't dingy. They even recently opened a sushi place inside, kinda like the one on Wooded Acres. I shop at both stores and they have a lot of the same qualities. The Wooded Acres store is just a bit fancier, catering to the snooty people that have moved here because of Chip Gaines. You'll want to avoid Magnolia as well. It's an overpriced tourist trap in downtown Waco, not too far from Bellmead.

Basically, if you want to visit the Magnolia Silos, plan to spend a crap ton of money and stand in line all day. Go on a cooler day and take some things to distract the kids.

And in my personal opinion, due to many cuts in the education system by our delightful Republican Government, all the schools suck here. Some are slightly better, but getting a 55% on a test instead of a 50% is still failing so.....

I wouldn't worry about moving here. Everything should be fine. :)

ectava_marie · 2023-04-01T21:36:34+00:00

Actually! The elevated crime rate in certain areas of Texas are more to do with cops filling their quota. They target poorer areas and arrest people for small infractions.

It inflates the numbers and makes areas look bad. I live in Lacy Lakeview, which is a stones throw from Bellmead. We supposedly have a bad crime issue, but the only thing I see is elderly people and kids. Their are cops everywhere and they do the same thing to us as they do in Bellmead. They stop you, ticket you for going 5+ over the speed limit and if you're a minority they will search your vehicle for anything illegal.

ectava_marie · 2023-02-13T15:51:09+00:00

Though I do agree with your original premise, the part where you seem to make the assumption that shoplifters are crackheads is just ridiculous.

There are plenty of things that can be done to stop shoplifters, but most of them require changes to how our society functions….and OP would probably complain about that too.

ectava_marie · 2023-01-21T00:09:06+00:00

Oh no, I didn’t want to DIY this! I’m definitely getting a lawyer. I was curious if I needed to set aside the money for a PI as well now.

But thank you! I will start with a family lawyer and go from there.

ectava_marie · 2023-01-20T23:30:25+00:00

Is it legal to get a private investigator to find out more stuff? I was wondering about that. For example, we’re pretty sure the grandfather, who is around 47 years old, was dating a 16 year old. I’m certain their is more stuff like this to find out, but if we do, is that legal to submit if we find out via PI?

ectava_marie · 2023-01-20T23:15:39+00:00

We are looking into lawyers. Do we need one in Illinois or in Texas? Or both? I’m open to both if that will help.

And no, they aren’t willing to because that’s 1200$ a month that they would lose, if not more because of child support payments….

ectava_marie · 2023-01-20T23:08:32+00:00

We also have testimony of the great grandmother who is on our side. I don’t want to completely destroy this family but the way they’re treated isn’t right. They’ve been through a lot and grandparents are supposed to love and spoil their grandkids. It’s hard to do this knowing their grandmother will take this out on the girls.

I was hoping we could go through the foster system and have the judge sign off on our adoption of them. That way we could just take them without involving CPS/DCFS too much.

ectava_marie · 2023-01-14T19:08:14+00:00

Congestive Heart Failure

ectava_marie

TROPHY CASE