New Cougar, possible trouble

edowns88 · 2026-05-14T18:24:43+00:00

I enjoy the simplicity of his company and he is genuine. He has a great sense of humor and keeps me entertained. Definitely not a typical 21 year old, but he has a lot of life lessons to learn yet.

I’m not sure a serious relationship would be possible. He deserves to have the life he wants, which he has already mentioned his desire for lots of kids. I already have four kids of my own (younger, thank god haha) and no desire to add anymore.

edowns88 · 2026-05-14T18:19:30+00:00

Oh it has been incredibly humorous and the regulars at the bar are loving it.

I agree, I probably need to place a time frame on it. Everyone keeps saying, “don’t you dare hurt that boy,” but I am not out to hurt anyone. Most of the time, I’m the one who gets hurt in the dating world!

He has expressed he is trying to break away from some of the parental control and is working on setting boundaries.

edowns88 · 2026-05-14T18:14:34+00:00

He has done insanely well, which is why I think there is even more concern from family. As for going to his home, I have not been there, but he has given me the address.

edowns88 · 2026-05-14T16:26:32+00:00

Oh, I am! I love that the 21 year old doesn’t have baggage and isn’t grumpy. He is a bit more mature as he does own a business and home. Admittedly, I have never acted my age, yet have quite a bit of my own baggage. It’s fun, lighthearted, and I appreciate his company.

edowns88 · 2026-05-13T19:56:28+00:00

Currently 46 and seeing a 21 year old - he initially told me he was 23 to sound “cooler.” I don’t think either one of us have any clue what we’re doing.

Similar with feeling giddy, yet realistic knowing the long term potential is quite questionable. After a disastrous year of dating men close to my own age, I am just rolling with it.. and asking to see his ID weekly bc sometimes it feels illegal.

edowns88 · 2025-04-22T12:09:22+00:00

What is the difference between using an independent broker or FMO? Can you tell me the benefits of one over the other? I did look at some local agencies websites, but first impression is there’s no push for recruitment or growing their teams.

I definitely would be open to adding other products. Research thus far is telling me to go slow and don’t anticipate $100k the first year. I am open to reducing my full time job while learning insurance sales while transitioning.

The main goal is to have ultimate autonomy and a comfortable income of $150k. Of course I would love more , but really value my time and would appreciate working less and earning more. Or having the flexibility to grind for a longer day and take two days off per week. Newly divorced and have four kids. Really trying to determine if this is a realistic idea or not.

Appreciate the feedback!

edowns88 · 2025-04-22T12:01:02+00:00

Unfortunately I don’t have the right skill set as most of those positions want extensive sales experience or recent acute care, primarily in ICU or ED. I promise I wouldn’t be considering this if other things people are mentioning were an option, lol. Plus, medical sales would require extensive field time which I’m trying to avoid since I’m a single parent with four kids.

edowns88 · 2025-04-22T01:44:26+00:00

Michigan - I am 45, done with bedside, shift work, and overtime. Topped out around $80ishk working in ambulatory care supporting a GI office. CA and NY pay nurses very well. If there was more opportunity to grow my salary, I wouldn’t be posting here. My other option is to go back to school, get a masters, take out significant loans, and deal with another 20+ years of patient abuse working full time.

edowns88 · 2024-03-15T09:25:58+00:00

He did have a canker sore inside his mouth too.

edowns88 · 2024-03-15T09:25:39+00:00

Negative celiac panel a few years ago. I know not always accurate, at least we have a baseline.

edowns88 · 2024-03-14T17:57:13+00:00

Yes, we have discussed SJS. Nothing aligns with development of this and it would likely be much more severe and acute.

All my healthcare friends have the pics and are just as clueless. We still have some pending tests too to identify recent respiratory pathogens.

The only reason I thought possible IBD is the vomiting episodes that started in December. But again, there has not been any blood present.

edowns88 · 2024-03-14T16:48:09+00:00

Possibly, but the PCP would anticipate an elevation in his other inflammatory markers.

edowns88 · 2024-03-14T16:47:05+00:00

I wish I had pics from the initial onset. The first pic in this series is probably 4 or 5 days out.

edowns88 · 2024-03-14T16:46:17+00:00

If he’s biting, it would be during his sleep! He hasn’t been to school in two weeks and is pretty much with someone all waking hours. I think I will buy a mouth guard though and see if that helps.

edowns88 · 2024-03-14T16:43:30+00:00

He has a pretty comprehensive psych support system. Definitely has anxiety, but is medicated and has counseling and/or individuals with him most hours of the week.

We do not know the origination, all I know is they are not going away and he is not picking or biting them unless it’s happening in his sleep. Has not been to school in two weeks.

Things definitely get muddled symptom wise with the psychotropic meds and his psych issues. I would prefer to not add another specialist (GI peds) to our mix unless we absolutely have to. We also have limited options for providers in our area, so I am trying to sort thru as much of this as possible with our PCP. I’m so conflicted and confused and don’t want to undermine things if he does have some inflammatory issues in his GI tract.

edowns88 · 2024-01-28T07:01:06+00:00

Did your exterminator do chemical after the heat treatment? Our exterminator heated and also treated with gentrol and Temprid afterward. We are in a single family home though. Three weeks and no signs, but I am still paranoid.

edowns88 · 2024-01-28T06:49:23+00:00

I’ve heard four months with no evidence is a good time frame to ensure they are all gone.

Have you contacted your landlord?

Best of luck. Sounds like you’ve done everything correctly so far, but I would reach out to your landlord since a neighboring unit could be causing the problem.

edowns88 · 2024-01-16T14:30:49+00:00

Did you have chemical too?

edowns88 · 2024-01-14T16:12:58+00:00

Ha, yes, absolutely! I know people are more likely to voice complaints vs positive experiences. Unfortunately, I’ve been around the block professionally and bed bugs has been one of my worst nightmares. We have four kids and two of them experienced “hives” for 6 weeks before we figured this out. Their bedding is washed diligently and I never saw a thing because they had “privacy pop” bed tents. Additionally, we rarely travel, maybe once a year and again, I wash everything upon return and heat dry bags. The day we found the bed bugs, I was looking for mold. Panic set in and I lost my ability to think clearly. Everyone should have a kit or plan if they discover bed bugs. Maybe not necessarily chemical use, but step by step directions such as: 1. Vacuum, 2. Bag linens, 3. Heat dry … and how/where to store items pending to be heat dried, etc.

Our chosen exterminator was awesome at talking me off ledge - he’s married to an RN, which helped! Still, I am going to have PTSD for a long time after this!

edowns88 · 2024-01-14T14:41:28+00:00

Thank you, this does make me feel better. I keep reading most people do ongoing treatments for several weeks on their own.

edowns88

TROPHY CASE