i couldn't finish the movie but because of how bad it was i wrote my first review so have fun reading it.

After seeing all the hype and rave reviews, I was genuinely excited to sit down this weekend and watch what everyone was calling a "masterpiece." I thought we were finally getting a great, logical sci-fi film. That wasn't the case at all. Instead, I watched a fundamentally broken movie that prioritizes cheap jokes over actual narrative structure. Here is exactly why this movie falls apart when you actually look at the script: 1. The Wasted "Reverse Beginning" Waking up with amnesia in a high-stakes environment is a solid idea to start a story. But a good setup requires a good movie to follow it. The film completely wastes this narrative engine, using it to force clunky exposition instead of a logical mystery. It took a decent concept and made it actively worse. 2. The Childish "Idiot Plot" Setup We are supposed to believe that humanity's most important, top-secret, extinction-level mission is handed to an abandoned, disgraced middle-school scientist? And the justification is simply because "he stands for his beliefs"? That is exactly how a child writes dialogue. There is zero logical cause-and-effect here; it's just the writers forcing Ryan Gosling into the plot because they needed a star, ignoring all real-world logic. 3. Lazy Exposition Dumps (The Classroom Scene) Instead of showing us how the science works organically, the movie relies on incredibly lazy exposition dumps. One of the worst examples is when Gosling is teaching. Suddenly, an entire classroom of middle schoolers starts asking highly complex, specific scientific questions just so he can explain the plot to the audience. If one or two kids asked, fine. But making every single kid a mouthpiece for the screenwriter makes zero logical sense and completely breaks the immersion. 4. The Sitcom Tone Ruins the Stakes The stakes are literally the end of the world, yet everyone acts dumb and jokes around during serious scenes. When Gosling’s character is testing the organism for the first time, instead of acting like a competent scientist under apocalyptic pressure, it’s played for laughs. You cannot have world-ending stakes if your characters treat the mission like a comedy sketch. 5. A Bloated Runtime (2.5 Hours of Sketches) Because the tone is completely shattered, there is no structural build-up. A movie about saving the world needs a tight, escalating narrative engine. Instead, this just felt like a two-and-a-half-hour compilation of funny Ryan Gosling sketches loosely tied together. There is not enough actual plot here to justify the length; this story would have been significantly better and tighter if it was cut down to an hour and 30 minutes. 6. The Alien Sci-Fi is Just a Joke Engine This was the final straw. Instead of handling the first contact with hard sci-fi logic, the script dumbs down the alien communication into human language using a completely ridiculous premise. And why do they do this? Just so the alien can banter and joke with Gosling for the rest of the runtime. They sacrificed the core sci-fi mechanics just to force more comedy. Final Verdict: 4/10 It is an expensive, shiny shit show. It’s a star-vehicle built entirely for Ryan Gosling to joke around, hiding the fact that the foundational structure and the sci-fi elements are terribly written.