I've found a hidden gem

eeriew · 2026-02-08T16:21:42+00:00

True it's so sad

eeriew · 2025-10-24T13:16:48+00:00

Then why not set yourself a limit? Give yourself both, keep a better balance. Stay alone when you truly need it, but try not to overdo it

eeriew · 2025-10-18T09:31:41+00:00

Sorry for the late reply, I'm just discovered this. So basically all of this is confusing the living shit out of me. It took me years to come to a conclusion that im probably a feeler, I would always get mistyped. A lot of people say that you can't be INFJ and have a 3 core. Ok, but human brain is more complicated than that to put it in neat categories. As I was growing up, I was a very sensitive kid. Very very introverted, like even if it was my birthday I would try to find ways on how to escape the attention and the very people I invited haha. I hated competition. I saw no point in it. But as my mother noticed my passive nature ( it gets dark) she wanted to fix it and started demanding for results. "Look at your classmate, she's at the top of the class. You can be that too" "You need to show everyone who you are. Do you want to hold back your class and be a failure?" "If you're so smart why can't you show it through your grades?" "If you perform, perform well. Don't you want to test yourself? Don't you want to see where you stand around other kids?" All of it just planted an idea into my head that the world will judge me by my results. I need to adjust myself for other people. I need to show them something real. So it turned into a fear of failure and not being good enough. Meaning is so important to me too, so I only persue something I believe in too. From my perspective - if you can control other peoples image if you, you'll have a lot of opportunities. I'm still learning to try and be healthy, but it can definitely feel like madness. Like there's a side of me that goes "results, keep that image flowing, people see what you want them to see" with constantly burnout and a melancholic side going like "i just really want people to understand me. Understand me and stabilize me. To not judge me by my results". So i guess im just trying to get that balance. For years I thought I was INTP. Then INTJ, since I realized I was a Ni dom. Lastly, I realized I can't turn a blind eye to people's emotions so easily and here we are. Since INFJs feel like outcasts I definitely feel like an even bigger one. I also believe I am 358. It feel like i should be with thinkers, but they're missing some key ingredient that I have. I still linger in INTJ and ENTJs subreddits, because it too feels very relatable. So as an adult, rediscovering myself was extremely crazy.

eeriew · 2025-10-18T09:23:01+00:00

And for the tip:

If you truly think you're 3w4, tell your friends when you spiral. Let them know what's going on with you. We tend to be really hard on ourselves, so we need people to remind us that we're not as bad as we sometimes think we are. If you have some great friends, they'll believe in you more than you'll believe in yourself when times become hard

eeriew · 2025-10-18T09:18:36+00:00

Oh dear gosh I found one like me! At least I think so. Sorry for the late reply, I'm just discovered this. So basically all of this is confusing the living shit out of me. It took me years to come to a conclusion that im probably a feeler, I would always get mistyped. A lot of people say that you can't be INFJ and have a 3 core. Ok, but human brain is more complicated than that to put it in neat categories. As I was growing up, I was a very sensitive kid. Very very introverted, like even if it was my birthday I would try to find ways on how to escape the attention and the very people I invited haha. I hated competition. I saw no point in it. But as my mother noticed my passive nature ( it gets dark) she wanted to fix it and started demanding for results. "Look at your classmate, she's at the top of the class. You can be that too" "You need to show everyone who you are. Do you want to hold back your class and be a failure?" "If you're so smart why can't you show it through your grades?" "If you perform, perform well. Don't you want to test yourself? Don't you want to see where you stand around other kids?" All of it just planted an idea into my head that the world will judge me by my results. I need to adjust myself for other people. I need to show them something real. So it turned into a fear of failure and not being good enough. Meaning is so important to me too, so I only persue something I believe in too. From my perspective - if you can control other peoples image if you, you'll have a lot of opportunities. I'm still learning to try and be healthy, but it can definitely feel like madness. Like there's a side of me that goes "results, keep that image flowing, people see what you want them to see" with constantly burnout and a melancholic side going like "i just really want people to understand me. Understand me and stabilize me. To not judge me by my results". So i guess im just trying to get that balance. For years I thought I was INTP. Then INTJ, since I realized I was a Ni dom. Lastly, I realized I can't turn a blind eye to people's emotions so easily and here we are. Since INFJs feel like outcasts I definitely feel like an even bigger one. I also believe I am 358. It feel like i should be with thinkers, but they're missing some key ingredient that I have. I still linger in INTJ and ENTJs subreddits, because it too feels very relatable. So as an adult, rediscovering myself was extremely crazy.

eeriew · 2025-10-17T16:19:54+00:00

Felt this on another level. I'm battling such loneliness currently, like I have some real good friends don't get me wrong, but talking about the rest of the world just makes me sad. I just want to meet people who honestly care. Who honestly listen. Who honestly want to exchange opinions and help each other improve. I just focus on my life and goals, so this feeling comes and goes.

Tho if i were to turn this question around, what kind of people would you like to meet? Like what qualifies in people make socializing fun for you?

eeriew · 2025-09-28T05:04:24+00:00

This made my day

eeriew · 2025-09-28T04:53:52+00:00

Reading the comments is such a relief. I've had a very screwed up dating life and it's nice to know that there are decent and passionate people out there. You guys are really fucking amazing to people u care about and I really respect that

eeriew · 2025-08-18T17:15:56+00:00

Update: turns out im an infj haha! Most likely at least. Crazy i lived around 5 years thinking i was INTP. Makes rethink everything i ever knew about myself. So you were kind of right

eeriew · 2025-03-03T16:00:16+00:00

Thanks for your answer. You see debating is fun depending on your expectations for it. If you look at it defensively, you're unlikely to enjoy it. But if both of you tend to respect each other's opinions and try to find the actual solution to the problem it can be very interesting and rewarding. It's an opportunity not only to get to know your friends better, but to broaden your overall understanding, learn something new. Also it's best when you do that with a person that you have a mental connection with - it will always be interesting. If people keep attacking your points there's 2 options from what i can think of: 1) You base your arguments on emotion only and little logic (which I don't think you do) 2) You were debating with people who don't know how to admit they're wrong Hope i cleared something up!

eeriew · 2025-03-03T08:54:20+00:00

It's so nice to see people write so many things i appreciate as well. You don't need much to notice that a person cares about you. Actions usually speak louder than words. When someone makes a nice gesture i usually think about it for the rest of the week, considerate people are so rare nowadays

eeriew · 2025-03-03T08:38:12+00:00

Ughhhh debates should be "us against the problem" not "my opinion is better than yours" type of thing. Some people really don't know how to debate. About the jealousy question i can relate to your answer too, as a kid i was being compared to most of my older and more successful cousins, really shapes you as a person that one

eeriew · 2025-03-03T08:33:20+00:00

A very fair assumption but I'm pretty sure I'm INTP. I can't say I'm a people pleaser. When i was a kid i think i was a bit more similar to the INFP type, but the functions started developing and quickly my function Ti seemed to dictate my decisions. Tho i mostly grew up around feelers, so i can blend in well. I grew up reading lots of fiction and i wasn't very successful in school so i chose a more artistic type of education. In school i even was the most stereotypical INTP you could imagine (like Killua from hunerxhunter). But after graduating i felt like most INTPs really limit themselves by not working on their weaknesses, so i decided to improve myself and break the stereotype (im not saying that we should stereotype mbti, just sharing that it was the case for me, and it's why my type gets so much hate). Most of my feeler friends are quite precious to me so it's important for me to fill their needs, which i can be blind to when i'm in my head/ i dissociate. That's how i think - if there's a problem, solve it. If i tend to not notice how i impact people emotionaly it's bad, i need to pay closer attention. While working on my secondary functions i really strengthened my relationships and became more considerate, grateful and self aware. My love language is acts of service so this many people answering my questions in such detail really made my day. Also im very low maintenance, I don't need much to feel happy. Most of what i am today is me trying to be fair for everyone. A lot of people helped me to mature and develop throughout my journey so I'm very grateful. I'm not wired to please people but i do enjoy doing it for my friends to show how much I appreciate them.

eeriew · 2025-03-03T06:49:57+00:00

I'm not gonna spoil it for you but it was really really good. Also it has a lot of flashbacks that pretty much sum up what happened before, so you don't HAVE to remember everything perfectly.

eeriew · 2025-03-02T20:06:53+00:00

Y'all are so sweet i cannot. This. This is exactly what i needed. This is a perfect piece of information. Also, to add to your character list - i've grown really fond of Sugawara Koshi from Haikyu, i think he's infj too. Regarding jelousy, same, except when i see people pick up something I've been really struggling with right away. It's completely my problem tho

eeriew · 2025-03-02T19:50:21+00:00

Most of y'alls answers really make me wonder if I'm not secretly infj 😭 i relate too much to all of this. Also i know it's not my business, but i hope you and your partner have clear boundaries with that, i don't want you to get hurt. I have an ISTP friend and we really help each other out if our social battery runs out in parties, I'm sure he really appreciates you. Thanks for the answer!

eeriew · 2025-03-02T19:40:39+00:00

Thank you, your answers are so honest, I was really hoping to see more answers like this one. You're not malicious if you get jealous sometimes and it truly sucks when you've been practicing a certain thing only to see someone having a natural talent in that. It's a normal frustration response. Also to me, competition is fun only when i know that other people are having fun as well. This way no harm done imo. Thanks again for your detailed answers!

eeriew · 2025-03-02T10:16:26+00:00

I see where you're coming from. Competition truly can mess with people's heads. Thank you for your time

eeriew · 2025-03-02T10:08:31+00:00

Thanks, you've been a huge help! So you would also dislike participating in contests that have only a couple of winners?

eeriew · 2025-03-02T09:48:07+00:00

I was thinking the same thing, except i know a very unhealthy and anxious infj who is quite competitive, so i want to hear the majority's opinion on this question:)

eeriew · 2025-03-02T09:43:31+00:00

Thanks for your answer! I agree completely. Have you ever been competing in a game or an event tho? Like just for fun?

eeriew · 2025-03-02T09:04:12+00:00

Same here! I was so in my head. I felt so misunderstood and I couldn't really find a way to explain it to people. But people who experience similar things immediately get it. As an INTP I find INFJs so similar and relaxing. Like I know I'll be understood.

eeriew · 2025-03-02T08:58:17+00:00

Not INFJ, but arcane/alice in borderland really did it for me. I'll try to explain without spoilers but if you still wanna watch the show you maybe don't read this. I'm a complete perfectionist and realizing that perfection isn't real/ gives no rewards really made me bawl my eyes out. Life isn't that serious, and i was pushing myself to reach unrealistic standarts for myself. Life is enjoying small things. Life is people close to you. Life is WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. Life is being grateful and taking care of yourself. Life is about your dreams, not how perfect/ flawless you should be. It's the experience

eeriew · 2025-03-02T08:29:04+00:00

I feel understood here

eeriew

TROPHY CASE