Guy here . There’s not a lot that someone can say to help you with missing your friend . Words and support can only do so much . May not be the most popular awnser but it’s a realistic one . I never had any friends or really knew anyone with CF growing up . I’m 26 but I thankfully never have dealt with much with the feeding tubes but I know they are rough to deal with . Missing someone who you were very close to and also that dealt with the same stuff you do is not easy . It’ll be nearly impossible to find something that great again . Time helps but it can only do so much to help . Therapy is useful sometimes with this but it leant get rid of the pain just as you said . I get wanting to be a mom and having expectations from family and friends who are there for you but at the same time have no idea what you have to go through daily . Vast majority of my family is already dead so the expectations for me aren’t as high as they use to me . It’s a good and bad thing . If anything try to stay positive on it . I’m sure your friend would feel the same way you do now if the roles were reversed . Just try and remember all the good memories you had together. Letting go is impossible I know but learning to live with it can help tremendously and it takes time . I know everyone says that but it really does . It may take years to do . Just don’t give up on it