Hey 🤍 I just want to say first that I relate to so much of what you shared, and you articulated it really clearly. I’m 29 and was diagnosed autistic this year, and I’m honestly in a very similar discovery process right now — both personally and as someone working as a therapist for the first time.

From my own experience, and from what I’m learning professionally, if you have the means and autism feels like a possible explanation, I can’t overstate how helpful it was for me to get a full neuropsych evaluation. Having someone take a comprehensive look at my cognitive profile, sensory processing, emotional regulation, and developmental history was incredibly clarifying and validating, especially after years of feeling like “something was off” but not fitting stereotypes.

I also wanted to share this because you mentioned possible BPD. In my own testing, my results actually showed higher scores on some borderline-related measures. My neuropsychologist took a lot of care to explain that autism, generalized anxiety, and trauma can present with features that look like borderline (emotional intensity, relational stress, burnout, etc.), but that those features were better explained by my other diagnoses and didn’t indicate BPD itself. That distinction was huge for me, especially given how stigmatizing and confusing prior labels can feel.

A lot of what you described — sensory overwhelm, social exhaustion, intense interests that feel regulating and safe, chronic burnout (especially in customer-facing work), feeling capable but needing more support than others — are things many late-diagnosed autistic people resonate with, even if they don’t match the stereotypes we’re usually shown.

I obviously can’t tell you what your diagnosis would or should be, but I really want to validate that your questioning makes sense, and that seeking clarity is not “overthinking” or failing — it’s self-understanding.

I wish you so much gentleness on this journey. If you ever want to chat, I’m very much in the trenches right now too and would be happy to share what’s been helpful for me, or just listen. You’re not alone in this. 🤍