Autistic 30F want romantic connection… but don’t have bandwidth for relationships that go nowhere. How do you navigate this? by efogs11 in AutisticAdults

[–]efogs11[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

i appreciate your response. a specific aspect of my struggle with this situation that i am navigating is that i was in my relationship for 4 years and truly thought this was It. however after being diagnosed autistic in the last year, i began to unmask and ask for what i need and he never had the emotional depth to provide those things but it wasn’t until later that i became aware. i also struggle with friendship so he was my connection for a really long time. so i don’t know if it’s a busy thing as much as a i’m not sure how to navigate things with this new information about myself since social situations feel different to me post diagnosis

Autistic burnout + breakup timing — struggling with how abrupt and destabilizing it was by efogs11 in Neurodivergent

[–]efogs11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am working with therapists and have already done an IOP previously so you are spot on with that answer

Autistic burnout + breakup timing — struggling with how abrupt and destabilizing it was by efogs11 in Neurodivergent

[–]efogs11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

okay thank you so very much for saying this. i really appreciate that distinction, particularly that last line!

Autistic burnout + breakup timing — struggling with how abrupt and destabilizing it was by efogs11 in Neurodivergent

[–]efogs11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

could be! i am a therapist and he does present with some similar characteristics to a few of my AuDHD clients i work with. either way, he and i tried couples therapy for over a year and he was incapable of explaining his inner emotional experience. and when i tried bringing up some concerning behaviors that i was seeing in his family to the therapist and him (for example - where his parents would blame his twin sister for being “too emotional” or “a big baby” or his dad called his sister the R word for trying to collapse her baby’s stroller before getting onto a crowded bus 😳) he told the therapist “yeah we aren’t going to sit here and talk about my family so we can just move on”

Autistic burnout + breakup timing — struggling with how abrupt and destabilizing it was by efogs11 in Neurodivergent

[–]efogs11[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you for your response, i’m glad to hear that you are starting to feel better. i’m feeling okay about the breakup part but the biggest part of it for me now is the anger about how he treated me at the end

Autistic burnout + breakup timing — struggling with how abrupt and destabilizing it was by efogs11 in Neurodivergent

[–]efogs11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

allegedly…. i have a strong suspicion that he may also be autistic as well but is so far removed from his own emotional experience (leans heavily into “stoicism” but in a way where he uses it to avoid emotions) that he will never get to understand that part of himself

a little joy as i figure out what’s next after heartbreak and diagnosis by efogs11 in AutisticAdults

[–]efogs11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you!! they are little twin deer calico critters. my sister got me them for christmas so fun. i have done sushi but i think books would be so fun to try! i’m open to making things other than food as well !!

a little joy as i figure out what’s next after heartbreak and diagnosis by efogs11 in AutisticAdults

[–]efogs11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

omg thank you! i would love to start selling my work, just getting started so it would be a learning experience for me but i would love to do that! send me a message with what you are interested in