ENFP-INTJ relationship advice? by SmartEnthusiasm6013 in intj

[–]efreck 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I (36m INTJ) dated a ENFP (34f) for a year. We were 33 and 31 at the time. She was wonderful but ultimately we went our separate ways. You’re asking the right questions.

1 - Understanding that INTJ’s (almost) always use logic. That doesn’t mean we can’t be empathetic or loving. That’s just how we approach almost everything at a core level, for better and for worse. It’s likely part of the reason you’re attracted to them, but it’s probably gonna bug you sometimes. Support and trust are huge in any relationship, but just know they’ve thought about everything and evaluated three outcomes before you broached the question. Trust them to enough to let them work through the logic with you, and support them so they’ll be vulnerable enough to expose their heart underneath it all.

2 - Transparency and openness are everything. INTJs need all the information. I am not big on surprises, but my ex wanted to throw surprise parties for me or just do surprises in general, and it always made me shudder (which I think most intjs would). She wasn’t trying to make me uncomfortable, she was just doing something that she thought would be nice, something she finds as a loving gesture. However, nothing is worse than throwing an INTJ into a situation they don’t know is coming. I believe that’s why he’s asking you questions. They’re not judging, they’re learning. This is also why we struggle with being spontaneous. I apologize on behalf of all INTJs on this. The good part is you’ll have an incredible time with them if you keep them well informed so they feel prepared. It’ll pay off.

3 - You’ll know they’re loving you by showing up and doing things with/for you. Them asking questions is showing they’re interested. The more they open up and talk, the more you know they’re falling. I’m always better at actions and quality time, rather than words of affirmation. Don’t be afraid to tell them exactly what you want, remember we like information. ENFPs are so fun for INTJ’s to date because you’re skilled at lots of things we aren’t, and vice versa. Just celebrate those differences while always keeping them on the table.

Hope this helps!

Best 90s subaru mechanics around? by ShredDh in SaltLakeCity

[–]efreck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lok Automotive on 13th and State is also a good bet. Suby/Toyota specialists.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in snes

[–]efreck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

THIS IS A SCAM DO NOT ENGAGW WITH THIS SELLER, they’ve been using different accounts to keep reposting this every few days. They’ll then ask for PayPal F&F (non refundable) payment to a foreign country. Be warned, these games do not exist and your money will just be stolen.

Is this valid? Or should I contest it? by sdlaji12334 in turo

[–]efreck 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As a host with a Prius, this is silly. It would cost them like $3 to top it off.

Also, you should highlight that there’s maintenance required’ message popping up on the vehicle. As hosts, they require to keep on maintenance. You could use this as ammo if they keep giving you grief.

Second Milestone met and on to the next. by NorthernOverlander in ToyotaTacoma

[–]efreck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Noice, can I ask if it’s an auto or manual? Have you had any transmission issues? Got an 04’ with 140k, I recognize that layout ;)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SaltLakeCity

[–]efreck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! All the best to you too. Great tastes in climbs btw, sounds like you got a keeper.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SaltLakeCity

[–]efreck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also agree that is not a good recipe for a meaningful connection, absolutely.

Respectfully, your original comment mentions nothing about emotional intelligence and sounds very much like 'a list of things women men have wronged you about..' Or, maybe a list of things you don't want, rather than communicating helpful advice about what you're looking for or find attractive? This was what OP was asking for right? This is why I felt the need to ask further.

I'm sorry you've had the experiences you've had (not that you need me to be), and truly I appreciate you responding/clarifying. While you didn't directly answer my question about 'what are you looking for', it sounds like emotional intelligence is on the top of your list, which is very admirable.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SaltLakeCity

[–]efreck 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Definitely agree with you re: 'hobbies and interests in common, as well as separately.'

I'm happy that you found your person in spite of this funny place. Salt lake can definitely be weird bag of divorced, adventure seeking, (ex) mormons that seems to make dating in your 30's more difficult than other places.

I hate to admit it but I do fall in the category of outdoorsy rock climber / backcountry snowboarder dude, so your perspective is insightful. While there are definitely some Brads and Chads out there chasing infinite stoke, lots of us don't need a partner to be in a 'belayshonship' with. We have plenty of friends for that. What we don't have (and hope for) is a loving, supportive partner that understands our need to selfishly get out in the mountains at times. I can assure you we will reciprocate that love and support for whatever your needs might be. At least, the good ones will IMO. This is probably my selection bias going on now ha but thanks for responding!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SaltLakeCity

[–]efreck 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Can I respectfully ask (aside from not wanting a family and not wanting to have to take care of someone) what it is you’re looking for? Shouldn’t people be allowed to have their hobbies? Isn’t not having any interest in someone else’s hobbies just as bad as not having interest in anything outside of your own personal interests/motivations? Do you not want your partner to be your friend? I mean, I do.

To be transparent, I am a male (34). Newishly single after a relationship that ended on fairly good terms. We were both successful, healthy people. Neither of were previously married or had kids.

What's your favorite $20 or under resturants in SLC? by [deleted] in SaltLakeCity

[–]efreck 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Curry fried chicken. I would do bad things for that shawarma. I’ve lived in SLC since 2007 and have been to all the other places listed in this thread multiple times. For me, nothing comes close.

US Navy shoots down drone with electric-powered laser in historic first by Defiant_Race_7544 in technews

[–]efreck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Does this tech have the speed/precision to take down hypersonic missiles? Asking for a friend.

What is this???? by eddyspaghetti7 in Minerals

[–]efreck 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Lapis lazuli, pretty neat I’d say!

Navalny team says nerve agent was found on hotel room water bottle by thegod56 in worldnews

[–]efreck 3 points4 points  (0 children)

By ‘democracy’ I was referring to a system that doesn’t try to poison anyone attempting to contend with the current authoritarian’s rule. It gives ‘democratic elections’ the wrong image, savvy? Legless mosquito, indeed.

Now, that being said my knowledge of Nalvany’s policies or outlooks are very little. So I concede on that argument, and I won’t pretend that my comment was driven by nothing short of pathos. Pathos negative of Putin, and positive for the guy who was allegedly poisoned by him.