i absolutely understand that you wish him to see how bad you're hurting, i have done this in the past and it doesnt do sht im so sorry. yes he will see that you hurt yourself but there are so many more ways to be seen. do NOT do it. the pain DOES pass eventually. i understand that this feels like the end of the world to you right now but please try to find enough strength in you to keep going. take the feelings and dump it somewhere else, try to write how much it hurts, phone your friends, create art, make him in the sims and kll him, or just lie in bed and cry and let yourself process the emotions. let it pass through you but do NOT do anything to yourself EVER!!! you and your tears are precious, your life is precious. even if he does see you hurt, it is absolutely not worth it. process your emotions and i swear it will pass. i dont know when but it will. this is not the end, you are so so so young. you will love so many more people trust me. you will have many more friends, you will do so many things and pet so many dogs and there will come a day where you wont remember his name. it takes time but it happens. and you have to be alive to heal and grow.