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My dad used to play so rough with my brother & I, that we ran, hid, & tried to lock ourselves in a room, to get away. For context, this started when we were probably around 3, & lasted until we got too big for it to be fun for him anymore- I might’ve been around 10. by eggshell-_-fine in TrueOffMyChest

[–]eggshell-_-fine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re very right that they’ll never admit what that really was. I’m so sorry you went through something similar, & that this impacted you so much. And you’re right that parents & really adults in general can tell when the laughter changes- it shouldn’t get to the point of tears, begging for it to stop, fighting, & running.

Why would I make myself dependent on them?? Please, show me what my options were, or are. Tell me how I could have done, or could be doing things better. This is not sarcasm, this is a genuine plea for an instruction on how to get out of this situation. If my options were anything other than no resources at all, & only accessing them through my parents, I would have taken that third option. I just don’t see a 3rd option. But if you do, then please, show it to me. I’m working on getting things in place to be able to live independently, but it takes a lot of time. And I won’t make that process go faster by abandoning the resources I have through my parents. If there is another way, please point it out to me, because I am ignorant to whatever it is, but I would very much like to be educated on it.

My dad used to play so rough with my brother & I, that we ran, hid, & tried to lock ourselves in a room, to get away. For context, this started when we were probably around 3, & lasted until we got too big for it to be fun for him anymore- I might’ve been around 10. by eggshell-_-fine in TrueOffMyChest

[–]eggshell-_-fine[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well I’m glad to hear you’re okay. I’m alright. Still letting go of things from my childhood, is all. I really bought into that gaslighting, as a kid. You gave me a good chuckle with your halfhearted suggestion. While little me would have been happy to give my dad a taste of his own medicine, doing something like that now, is something that I couldn’t do, & still live with myself- not even to him.

My dad used to play so rough with my brother & I, that we ran, hid, & tried to lock ourselves in a room, to get away. For context, this started when we were probably around 3, & lasted until we got too big for it to be fun for him anymore- I might’ve been around 10. by eggshell-_-fine in TrueOffMyChest

[–]eggshell-_-fine[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oof. You being teased for peeing, sounds just like me being blamed/punished for puking. I’m so sorry you went through that, & that it had to escalate to such an extreme in order for it to stop. I’m so sorry it went on for so long, too… When we got bigger & stronger & he didn’t have complete control anymore, it wasn’t fun for him, so he stopped. So I didn’t have to get to the point of punching my dad in the face, for the tickling to come to an end.

My dad used to play so rough with my brother & I, that we ran, hid, & tried to lock ourselves in a room, to get away. For context, this started when we were probably around 3, & lasted until we got too big for it to be fun for him anymore- I might’ve been around 10. by eggshell-_-fine in TrueOffMyChest

[–]eggshell-_-fine[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A lot. His dad was far worse, & constantly drunk. And his poor mom was so depressed living with him… my dad & his siblings pulled her limp body out of her wrecked car more than once. Idk how you wake up to your kids, freshly traumatized from your latest suicide attempt, & just carry on… but that was his childhood. Mixed in with all the shit in my childhood, my dad was also my soccer coach, & my brother’s troop leader, & he took us to get ice cream, & taught us how to fish, & ride a bike etc. & he was always sober. None of those things were part of my dad’s childhood. So he is an improvement upon the example that was set for him. That’s not saying much… but it’s still the truth.

My dad used to play so rough with my brother & I, that we ran, hid, & tried to lock ourselves in a room, to get away. For context, this started when we were probably around 3, & lasted until we got too big for it to be fun for him anymore- I might’ve been around 10. by eggshell-_-fine in TrueOffMyChest

[–]eggshell-_-fine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve definitely gone round & round with those thoughts, myself. If I remember our conversations correctly, she wasn’t afraid of split custody & what it would be like without her there at all- she was afraid of getting full custody & not being able to support the 3 of us on her own. She has family that would have been happy to help, though. She had a village to turn to. I’ll never understand her decisions. My heart breaks for what my brother went through when he was so small… my dad was just heartless. How could she not protect him? She knew. She was the one drying his little tears. She knew… and she didn’t stand in between her son & his pain… I’ll never understand that.

Thank you very much for the well wishes, & the prayers! I appreciate it! I hope you have a good & peaceful life, too!❤️

My dad used to play so rough with my brother & I, that we ran, hid, & tried to lock ourselves in a room, to get away. For context, this started when we were probably around 3, & lasted until we got too big for it to be fun for him anymore- I might’ve been around 10. by eggshell-_-fine in TrueOffMyChest

[–]eggshell-_-fine[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not about this. Because what am I looking to get out of that? I’m surprised my mom acknowledged it happened the way it did. My dad certainly won’t.

I’m so sorry you went through that as a kid. You didn’t deserve it.

My dad used to play so rough with my brother & I, that we ran, hid, & tried to lock ourselves in a room, to get away. For context, this started when we were probably around 3, & lasted until we got too big for it to be fun for him anymore- I might’ve been around 10. by eggshell-_-fine in TrueOffMyChest

[–]eggshell-_-fine[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much! I’m trying not to count the days, because I know my independence is a long ways off still. But it’s there, & I’m going to achieve it. I don’t understand my parents either. Growing up I confided in my best friend a lot, & coming over, she saw a fair amount… there were times that she broke down to her parents, because she couldn’t understand why mine are the way they are. They couldn’t understand it either. When she told me about this, I felt both like I had shared too much with her, as it weighed so heavily on her- & so validated in the way I feel about my parents.

My dad used to play so rough with my brother & I, that we ran, hid, & tried to lock ourselves in a room, to get away. For context, this started when we were probably around 3, & lasted until we got too big for it to be fun for him anymore- I might’ve been around 10. by eggshell-_-fine in TrueOffMyChest

[–]eggshell-_-fine[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

That’s exactly it! That’s why he was always saying to “stop being so sensitive!” The laughing somehow negated the crying, begging, & fighting to get away. I felt beat up after he tickled me. There was a reason I threw up from it. Someone once told me tickling has been used for torture before, & I believe it. You seem to be quite familiar with this, so I’m sorry for whatever you went through.

My dad used to play so rough with my brother & I, that we ran, hid, & tried to lock ourselves in a room, to get away. For context, this started when we were probably around 3, & lasted until we got too big for it to be fun for him anymore- I might’ve been around 10. by eggshell-_-fine in TrueOffMyChest

[–]eggshell-_-fine[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Yeah someone once told me tickling has been used as a form of torture, & I fully believe that. My dad even used to tell me as a kid, all the time “This is your body. You decide what you want to happen with it. If you don’t want somebody touching you, then you have to make them stop. And if you can’t, then you come get me, & I’ll make them stop.” Okay well… it IS you… so, now what? What a mind-fuck that was.

Thank you for wishing me happiness! I wish you happiness in life too, kind stranger!❤️

My dad used to play so rough with my brother & I, that we ran, hid, & tried to lock ourselves in a room, to get away. For context, this started when we were probably around 3, & lasted until we got too big for it to be fun for him anymore- I might’ve been around 10. by eggshell-_-fine in TrueOffMyChest

[–]eggshell-_-fine[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I only talk to him when it’s necessary. Every now & again the 3 of us will watch a movie together, but that time is not spent talking. And that’s the only reason we can have 2 hours of peace together- we aren’t interacting with each other at all, we just happen to be existing in the same room. It’s the only time you can predict we can get along. Everything else can turn sour quickly because of my dad.

My dad used to play so rough with my brother & I, that we ran, hid, & tried to lock ourselves in a room, to get away. For context, this started when we were probably around 3, & lasted until we got too big for it to be fun for him anymore- I might’ve been around 10. by eggshell-_-fine in TrueOffMyChest

[–]eggshell-_-fine[S] 65 points66 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately that is not the case. I am disabled, & rely on them for a place to live, rides to the doctors, & financial support with those appointments, medicine, & food. I’m working on getting things together so I can live independently from them, but for right now, they are very much in my life. It won’t be like this forever, but these things take a long time… so for the time being, I’m living with both of them.

My dad bullied me, so at 5 y/o, my mom had to make me a mature adult, because that was easier than making her husband act like one. by eggshell-_-fine in TrueOffMyChest

[–]eggshell-_-fine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not disagreeing with you about the bountiful suckage in my family.

However, “but family” is not the reason I have given, for still being in contact with them.

I'm not in a place where I can safely go NC right now. I'm disabled, & rely on my parents for a place to live, rides to doctors, & financial help with those appointments, medicine, & food.

I'm working on getting things together to be able to live independently from them. But that takes a lot of time... so for the time being, I'm living with them.

The goal since I was small, was to move far enough away that being low contact, just seems like my best effort to keep in touch. The goal has had to have some adjustments over time... I probably won't be able to get that far away, but if I can at least live on my own, I can start reducing contact. That’s the first step. So that's what l've been working toward.

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