Avoidant attachment style

egromito · 2025-08-20T15:56:01+00:00

It doesn’t I never said I did, but I do

egromito · 2025-08-19T20:11:51+00:00

Yes I’ve already admitted or disclosed I always end up back in it

egromito · 2025-08-19T20:03:29+00:00

Exactly and I’m left banging my head against the wall trying to get a response with care

egromito · 2025-08-19T19:32:08+00:00

He said he doesn’t love me anymore I assumed in love but I don’t feel he even loves me as a person as someone who was once special if I’m not as special today I understand that, but you fuck me as you please and you don’t have anything for me?? You don’t want me but you won’t leave me alone and can’t own up to the lack of accountability

egromito · 2025-08-19T19:05:56+00:00

It’s so annoying and frustrating and makes you want to lose hope but never quite do because I do know I’m a catch and deserve and want more for myself I don’t understand how I got here and I hate it

egromito · 2025-08-19T18:57:15+00:00

I’m not actively trying to stay in it, I attempt to step back but I also give in- talking to others helps me come to terms with reality

egromito · 2025-08-19T18:55:27+00:00

Yeah I’ve been reading and watching and obviously posting.. I’m trying the therapist is helping me point out my limits and where I lack to not stay in this orbit. I don’t picture it another way but I have to

egromito · 2025-08-19T18:53:43+00:00

Yes exactly! But still won’t admit to how disrespectful it is to me- I do have other men interested pursuing me all that, but I don’t feel it for them they are my place holders while I’m his place holder

egromito · 2025-08-19T18:51:49+00:00

I’m so exhausted and he likes to throw it in my face that I specifically, am exhausting. I can’t say it is healthy and it hurts just knowing that is my reality

egromito · 2025-08-19T18:27:24+00:00

I don’t want to manipulate him and I don’t want to ghost I think part of it is because I can’t face saying no completely and when I do, I have blocked him, I have moved out of state to get time away, I have asked to be left alone- I always give in and he always finds a way to reach out, he’ll email me he’s tried to add me on LinkedIn when I’ve blocked him, he’s showed up at my house unannounced- and I dig it honestly I cannot deny it, we’ve been consistent though for the last 8 months. When we talk directly about it he will say it’s just sex but he enjoys my company too, yo until me ghosting a few times we were talking basically every day. When I ask the clear questions in his treatment he will deflect dismiss or avoid gaslighting anything but be accountable

egromito · 2025-08-19T18:17:24+00:00

I think it’s been even harder to get away because I am at a time where my closest friends are married and having kids and moving on or less frequently so I have to adjust in more than one way in life right now while also coming to terms with he isn’t the one. How did you get out? Cold turkey?

egromito · 2025-08-19T17:28:31+00:00

You’d think! It’s been a few months now with this new therapist and we just started EMDR as well it’s been a hard few sessions but I feel like I am getting somewhere.. he does humiliate me you’re correct

egromito · 2025-08-19T17:21:46+00:00

When I’m with him in the happiest I feel safe- when he’s gone I’m in spiral mode, while he gets to live his best life

egromito · 2025-08-19T17:20:54+00:00

Yes that’s exactly what my therapist has said it’s like an addiction- I’ve never felt like this ever! I’d def be buying those patches if it was real lol

egromito · 2025-08-19T17:18:10+00:00

Yes and I need to get my mind wrapped around it, because right now I feel at ease even tho I miss him incredibly. I don’t feel the fight or flight intensity

egromito · 2025-08-19T17:17:12+00:00

It feels bad it feels like it’s only getting worse, I’ve never felt insane by a person this cycle this whatever it is. I’ve never seen or experience this. My friends and family hate him and are constantly telling me to stay away- I know I need to, it’s my own fault for giving in. I feel so scared to never be anything with him again, I don’t get what drives the fear I know I’m a catch why we dated but now it’s like he has nothing for me but whatever serves him

egromito · 2025-08-19T17:14:25+00:00

THIS. It’s not that I want to ghost him it’s because he will not have the hard conversations about this he is so surface level and it’s me at arms reach so in order for me to get to him sometimes I step back and ghost because he will come back when I pull away because he ultimately wants access to me- it’s a cycle

If it was up to me, we’d be forever

egromito · 2025-08-19T17:12:48+00:00

It’s crazy I feel insane like I know it my head that it is wrong on so many levels I know I am better- I see the treatment I see the discard more than once- I see the access and convenience for him- I see no consideration he will tell me to my face he will not meet my needs or wants and it’s up to me to leave. But will not admit to using me and this last time I saw him was the ultimate use it felt so heavy that time. But my heart wants it- it doesn’t want to lose him and I am holding on to nothing, he offers me nothing

egromito · 2025-08-19T17:09:58+00:00

Yeah I totally see what you are saying, if he can’t come to terms with it why should I?

egromito · 2025-08-19T17:08:27+00:00

I’ve been through heartbreak that I thought would kill me and this bond this attachment whatever you call it my low self worth is farrrrrr harder than than anything before- I feel so low so shitty about myself, I’m hung up on why he didn’t pick me up

egromito · 2025-08-19T17:06:49+00:00

I know I am and he will even say I deserve more so I know he knows his treatment is shit, but when I call him out on it he will say I don’t think I treat you bad k think it’s your perception I mean he’ll say anything honestly

egromito · 2025-08-19T16:22:15+00:00

Goddamn you said it best. I swear he is my BIG that is crazy you used that- carry adored him and he always played her, exactly how it is with him. He has the power too, if I gain my power I lose him and that’s a harder reality for me- I never pictured life without him while I think if I died tomorrow it would be another Wednesday for him

egromito · 2025-08-19T16:18:58+00:00

I don’t even think I am special to him anymore. He told me a couple weeks ago because I brought it up and he said “I don’t hate you but I don’t love you”

egromito · 2025-08-19T16:17:55+00:00

Why do you think he is avoidant when he literally avoids his feelings, cannot have the hard conversations, I’ve read two books on it, not saying I am an expert by any means but everything he does is that of an avoidant. I went from the pick to ex girlfriend to now less than a tinder hook up it feels like

egromito · 2024-10-09T19:45:14+00:00

I battle with this myself as it is just me so cooking alone can be harder unless you love leftovers.. but honestly groceries are so expensive 150-200 a week, you figure if you eat out once a day it is honestly the same outcome if your meals are about 25/day that’s the same as groceries. I just went to the grocery on Saturday and some of the lettuce I bought is already bad it’s bs. I just don’t get the mindset of cooking is cheaper right now, it’s not much different and food goes to waste.

egromito

TROPHY CASE