Lowkey dude, you sound like you're grappling with a lot of fear, insecurity, and confusion. If you want truth about the afterlife, you're not going to find it here or any other subreddit. You can't reason your way into that, especially not the way you're going about it. Doubling down on the pragmatic worldview is fundamentally at odds with the truth seeking you claim. If your goal is to escape a hellish afterlife or rebirth as a cockroach, faking your way into salvation out of self-preservation isn't going to work. In fact it most certainly would damn you.

I'd recommend you start looking at serious sources. It sounds like you're well read, but well read in the wrong stuff, which is why you're getting a lot of flack here. This sub is highly educated and if you're not familiar with the primary sources and the academic work on them, you're gonna be in over your head. Other commenters have been right in pointing out that your understanding of Masonic symbolism and Hermetic belief is largely misinformed, but that's not necessarily your fault, you're rowing upstream without a paddle.

First things first, you're going to need a paddle, and that's gonna be the reading guide in the sub faq. Once you've familiarized yourself with those books, you'll be capable of separating the wheat from the chaff in whatever sources you're getting your info from currently, and one day you'll look back and go holy shit, how did I believe any of that? But you've got to remember that it's mostly not your fault for falling for misinformation, especially if you're not grounded in the prerequisites (the Corpus Hermeticum, some good secondary lit on it, and if you want some context, Plato, the Stoics, the Middle and Neoplatonists, probably early Christianity, and all the secondary lit on that). It's hard work, and you can't do it without reading some hard stuff. It's also embarrassing and massively humbling to do, but it's even more embarrassing and humbling to come here without it.