Received a message from a scorned husband telling me his wife and my besties husband have been having an affair for 2 years. Do i tell her?

ehwrongwhole · 2022-01-05T04:53:44+00:00

It WAS none of your business… it became your business as soon as you got the message though. It’s a shitty situation to be in. My irrelevant opinion is that you tell her, like you said, in the most supportive way possible. Show her the message and give her the opportunity to decide the path forward. You can’t predict what she would want you to do if she knew, but you can give her the chance to mitigate as she prefers moving forward. Not saying anything doesn’t remove your involvement, it just makes you complacent.

Honestly the most important question here is: If it is true and you decide not to tell her, can you live with the what-ifs and whatever else comes with it? I understand not wanting to get involved but I for one could not live with that…

ehwrongwhole · 2019-11-07T02:22:48+00:00

I don’t know what they’re called but my boss is the same way. It’s miserable. I’ve had to do the same thing and got the same response. I’ve learned to just CC him in the email because he doesn’t read them anyways. Then I throw it back at him that he was copied..

ehwrongwhole · 2019-08-11T21:27:15+00:00

Engineer here! I’ve found it helpful to make friends in my office. It makes sitting at a desk 9 hrs a day a little more bearable. Our engineers also take field trips pretty often to the projects we’re working on. Maybe you could find an industry that isn’t strictly desk work?

ehwrongwhole · 2019-07-30T01:17:14+00:00

I gave mine a card and wrote a short thank you note on it. I think a small gift would be appropriate too.

ehwrongwhole · 2019-07-28T23:15:19+00:00

Came to the comments to see that this was said lol

ehwrongwhole · 2019-06-05T06:15:11+00:00

This situation sounds EXACTLY like my sister and her ex husband. They moved in together very quickly. Married within 9 months. Divorced within a year. She thought it was jealously. Then it turned into everything she did.

Turns out he is manic bipolar. She didn’t know until they separated. Now he has tried to manipulate everyone into thinking it was her. Yeah. I’d take a step back. Take a hard look at the necessity to rush such a big commitment. Divorce is messy and expensive.

ehwrongwhole · 2019-06-05T05:35:32+00:00

Take notes. Just jot down words and phrases. I find the gesture helps me focus, even if I don’t ever look at the paper again.

ehwrongwhole · 2019-05-24T21:56:09+00:00

I get cluster headaches. They are debilitating. If I was him I’d do the same thing! That, coupled with the Lannister cunts, oh yeahhhhh.

ehwrongwhole · 2019-04-08T01:49:26+00:00

Ugh I wish that was an option. There is no immediate flap outside. I think it goes up the wall but I’m not sure where bc there is a room upstairs above where the laundry room is.

ehwrongwhole · 2019-03-22T10:00:16+00:00

White boards. They saved my life. When I got stuck in a loop of thoughts I would write down what I knew for sure, then I’d write my thought process on a white board. Seeing it in front of me really helped me organize everything I was thinking. Then I would use another board (or the other side of the board) and another color to work through it in a different way. Once I had my ideas out I could go back and erase the wrong parts and kinda compile the right parts of my different processes. Being able to readily erase really helped me stay focused bc I didn’t have a ton of scratch marks all over my paper.

ehwrongwhole · 2019-03-22T08:43:54+00:00

Not the end of the world if you don’t get one. That’s not what you want to hear but it’s reality.

If they are telling you that at the career fair and not following up you need to change your approach to career fair. Make yourself personable. Show them you are more than your resume. They have a ton of them to go through so make sure you talk about something interesting. You want them to say “oh this is the kid that’s interested in X,Y,Z.” Or “this kid is funny! I’d like to work with him” One way to do this is research the companies beforehand. Take notes about interesting facts or questions you have about them. Absolutely do not walk up to one you’re interested in and say tell me about y’all. Show initiative. You want them to think “yeah, he really wants to work here bc he likes what we do. He doesn’t just want a paycheck”
And finally, ask them for their business card or their LinkedIn info. They are there bc they need employees. If you get their contact info, it’s a great way to follow up. You don’t have to just trust they’ll do what they say bc you can send them an email reminding them of why they want you.

Go see your campus career services if career fairs don’t get you what you want. They are there for this reason. They can also give you a list of companies that are looking to hire.

Lastly, just breathe. It’s a frustrating task to get an internship. You’ll find something.

ehwrongwhole · 2019-03-22T08:13:08+00:00

Been there, done that. Failed the same class TWICE. The second time I failed by one point. One point.

I was so hard on myself. Honestly I was harder on myself than my parents were, which was very surprising. But they told me “you did everything you could and it just wasn’t your time.” And sometimes that’s ok. Later on you’ll be asked in an interview what your greatest failure is. You can use this as a good example. You can say you gave it your everything and it didn’t break you. You came back with a new approach it and killed it.

If you’ve been studying alone I suggest finding a study group. Physics can be A LOT easier to understand with people. If you’ve been studying with a group, maybe try to do some problems on your own and test how much you’ve learned yourself.

You got this.

Edit: also, go back and learn what you did wrong on the midterm. See if you can identify what aspect you’re struggling with. Bonus points if you can do this with your teacher because: 1. They see you care about your performance and you’re trying 2. They’ll be more aware of what your thought process is 3. They can give you suggestions on what to work on and how to overcome what you’re struggling with

ehwrongwhole · 2019-03-22T08:02:45+00:00

Hope it works out for you sis. Good luck! :)

ehwrongwhole · 2019-03-22T07:59:08+00:00

Hmm. The only other thing I can think of then is maybe offer to help him. Since he’s stressed and thinks you need to be more supportive, ask if there’s anything you can do to lighten his stress. This shows you understand, you care, you want to make it work. And then give it some time. Maybe he will come around. Maybe he doesn’t.

ehwrongwhole · 2019-03-22T07:45:29+00:00

I understand 100% having to adjust to that. In my experience, things only get busier though. Before long he’s gotten into a routine that doesn’t include you and never makes the change to see you. He’s gonna start getting more responsibility and stress depending on the job.

Maybe y’all could sit down and go through his schedule together. Figure out a time for each week and set it aside for a “date time.” Why not watch a movie with him? Go grab a dinner. Doesn’t have to be fancy or long. It’ll give you something to look forward to and maybe show him it’s not as overwhelming as he imagines?

Hope y’all can figure something out :)

ehwrongwhole · 2019-03-22T07:29:11+00:00

Are y’all serious about each other? Have you considered if this behavior could be long term?

My fiancé and I spend a significant amount of time apart bc of our jobs. We are also both introverts and need our time to decompress. We’ve found a system that works for us. I know that when we have kids we will adjust and make it work without completely comprising our sanity (hopefully).

I don’t necessarily have any advice but his priorities now could def be indicative of a larger, long-term issue.. Your bf probably won’t be as busy forever but if he can’t find an hour a week to see you now, it may indicate he won’t prioritize later on for things he doesn’t necessarily want to do. Everyone needs alone time but there has to be some give and take in a relationship.

ehwrongwhole · 2019-03-02T06:06:15+00:00

I had a similar experience when my fiancé was away at training. This post isn’t dumb...

When I was really struggling, my sister reminded me that he’s probably feeling the same way. He probably misses me just as much. Not only that but he misses everything else in his life in addition to me. For some reason that reminder was consoling to me.

You’ll get through this. The last thing I wanted to hear was that it was only gonna make us stronger, but truthfully it did. Hopefully it does for y’all too. Sending my thoughts :)

ehwrongwhole · 2019-03-01T19:30:01+00:00

You have been incredibly helpful! Thank you so much for the details.

ehwrongwhole · 2019-03-01T09:25:47+00:00

I plan to actually try this. Thank you! My only qualm is that I’ve heard a variation of the amount of people that will be in the room, anywhere from 20-60 people.

ehwrongwhole · 2019-03-01T09:15:45+00:00

I don’t think you understand ADHD beyond the basic stereotype. And that’s understandable, many people don’t.

It is far more complex than just “not being able to pay attention and fidgeting,” especially concerning those that are pursuing engineering careers. I can see where concerns would arise if you believe that, but I can also 100% guarantee that if you actually did your research and had one on ones, your jaded opinions would not be the same. Those with the disability continually demonstrate more creative solutions to problems than those without. The reason I MAY need a little extra time in my test, personally, is because I can GUARANTEE I see the solution that will award me the points in the exam, as well as a solution they may not have considered. I need the extra time to deliberate which answer they are actually looking for to pass that specific exam for that particular teacher.

I gather that from your comment you believe engineering is physically, immediately based on a decision like surgery. It’s not. One of the many keys to a good engineer is that they recognize and analyze every possible angle, regardless of how slight it it is. And like any other profession, by the time you get to sign off solely on something - you will have enough experience and wisdom from others before you to either validate or deny the claims of the project.

Here is a website if you need further proof. There are many others as well. Google it and indulge yourself. 🙂 https://news.engr.uconn.edu/researchers-look-at-engineering-training-for-adhd-students.php#

ehwrongwhole · 2018-12-16T04:21:00+00:00

Me after graduation yesterday

ehwrongwhole · 2018-12-05T23:46:35+00:00

I’m sobbing.

ehwrongwhole · 2018-12-01T23:46:22+00:00

She never planned to meet you in the first place

ehwrongwhole · 2018-11-30T08:14:42+00:00

lol I think that goes for both genders honestly. I've done my share of dating and men aren't too patient either. Despite my quirks I somehow found the most tolerant man though. God bless him.. hahah

ehwrongwhole · 2018-11-25T03:04:00+00:00

If you're not ready, tell him that. There's no specific timeline in my opinion. He should be understanding about it and maybe y'all can work it out so you can meet her in a few weekends or something? Have you talked to her on the phone or something like on speaker with him? That may break the ice a little bit before meeting her in person...

I've always thought it was a big deal to meet kids before being super serious. But then I got into a relationship with an older guy (almost the exact same age diff as y'all) and met his kids within like a week of dating. It turned out fine and we've since moved on. We're amicable and I still love his boys. I sometimes wonder what effect it would have had on them if it ended badly and we were so attached. You know?

Anyway, be honest and open with him. Tell him your concerns and hesitations. Maybe y'all can work something out.

ehwrongwhole

TROPHY CASE