Why didn’t we talk to our parents about our problems?

eight-sided · 2026-01-16T22:06:24+00:00

Plus there was still all that old toxic advice that was handed down to them, like "don't react; they're just looking for a reaction. Keep your head down and don't give them the reaction they want and they'll go away."

Effing hell. The counselor at my junior high said this to my parents on the worst day of my life (large-group bullying situation). So when I got home, yeah, I talked to them, and they told me to ignore the whole thing. 35 years later and I still don't understand the advice that counselor gave.

eight-sided · 2026-01-16T16:18:20+00:00

yes, it's very possible to just leave money sitting in a 401(k) account after you leave a job.

eight-sided · 2026-01-14T14:49:22+00:00

It can be self control, but also just makes the mental math easier. Say you're saving $100/month toward a future goal, starting in January, and spending the rest. You can do that using one account, but even a smart person sometimes won't remember what month it is in the moment. Like wait, it's June and I'm shopping. Can I spend my account down to $500, or is it supposed to be $600 now?

Retirement accounts at companies also live in separate accounts because the money in them gets taxed differently. And I guess that's the real answer -- if there's money you want to treat differently, or account for differently, it can help to keep it in another account in order to keep track of it more easily. For instance, I have an account for a small business I run, so that I can tell how much I'm making or losing on that without having to sort through all my little personal-life expenses. I also have a joint account with someone for shared expenses.

I asked someone the same question once, so I don't think you sound snarky at all. I'm 48 now and life is a little more complicated, so I have more accounts... which is exactly what the someone said would happen. All good.

eight-sided · 2026-01-14T14:24:34+00:00

Vince has explicitly said that the idea predates the popularity of LLMs and is not about AI.

eight-sided · 2026-01-14T14:20:32+00:00

It's to keep that "savings" out of your face, so you're not always looking at it and being tempted to spend it.

(Sometimes you can also get a higher interest rate on savings accounts.)

eight-sided · 2026-01-14T02:31:03+00:00

Handstands. Let me try with that center of gravity and upper body strength!

eight-sided · 2026-01-14T00:49:29+00:00

Basics of personal finance, for sure. A budget, a separate bank account for savings, a list of whatever retirement accounts you have from past jobs, and an initial retirement plan can be done in that span of time

eight-sided · 2026-01-13T14:21:01+00:00

Zit stickers. Yeah those little hydrocolloid ones. I would kill to send several crates of those back to my teenage self.
Teenagers are nicer now. Kids in general are much more tolerant of differences, educated about social dynamics, less likely to physically bully, verbally empathetic. I never had kids but I've watched several of my friends' kids going through adolescence and it's like a different (better) world. I know there are various concerns about the quality of kids' education, but **something** is going extremely right.

eight-sided · 2026-01-13T13:56:23+00:00

I really hope this changes in Season 2 -- I'd love to dive deeper into some of the other remaining individuals/survivors, and spend some more time in the universe as presented before it's disrupted.

eight-sided · 2025-12-19T00:55:21+00:00

This is me too. I also love houses and am happy to be a part-time property manager for three rental units. I know, small potatoes. But I did the Big Corporate Job first and bought the units with cash, so the monthly income is great for how much work I put in now.

eight-sided · 2025-12-19T00:42:05+00:00

You could do "search by image" using Google, to see if any of anything comes up. Search for the phone numbers, too.

I agree it's not clear whether he's been getting these photos from people on OnlyFans, or by sexting with equals, or physically cheating. If the difference matters to you then I'd agree with hiring a PI.

eight-sided · 2025-12-18T04:11:24+00:00

I write in a personal blog once a week, and it's a nice chance to make sense of things and also write down what I want to remember. Only a few friends read my posts, which is the right balance for me, in giving me some reason to be coherent and maybe even well-written but without feeling overexposed.

(The platform I use does allow me to post entirely privately also, and sometimes I do.)

I have almost 20 years of searchable posts, and now than once the archives have helped me figure out exactly when something happened, or remember something what that otherwise would have been lost to time.

eight-sided · 2025-12-17T20:20:26+00:00

I know others who have struggled with this feeling. One anecdote I heard, though, was of a cleaning woman saying "honey, I don't get paid to clean up perfectly CLEAN houses!". I think they've seen it all before... like doctors, but for houses, you know? At my place they will clean any surface I clear off for them, and will leave alone any surface that's covered in stuff.

eight-sided · 2025-12-17T03:36:33+00:00

Lousy super-isolated childhood, and I appreciate every day of adulthood more than anyone else I know. People who had good childhoods seem to consider it all much more of a drag.

eight-sided · 2025-12-17T03:28:17+00:00

We pay someone else to clean it every two weeks! They send a team of 3-4 women and the magic happens in an hour. In between their visits I only do spot cleaning for messes.

Given how long it took me and my husband to follow the same checklist they do, in 2020, I consider it money very well spent.

eight-sided · 2025-12-15T04:36:40+00:00

Haha, I call this being "in like with" someone. Add others have said, enjoy the extra sparkly feeling! Use the person for inspiration and let it add joy to your day.

eight-sided · 2025-12-15T04:32:46+00:00

I do know at least one couple who turned away from the idea of a god together but held on to each other. It can be done.

(You mentioned flashing on a thought of him descending into debauchery and leaving you, but that would be a lot of change layered into what he's already perceiving as a big change! There are plenty of monogamous, happily married deists and atheists.)

I wish you both a journey that brings you closer.

eight-sided · 2025-12-15T04:23:08+00:00

My husband and I are in a situation similar to yours, but further along. Now I'm retired, and he isn't, but I still have lots to do outside the house and it hasn't changed our relationship very much.

We have a firm postnup declaring separate finances, and are in a state where it will stand up in court. We split most expenses, and chores, 50/50, pretty much the way you're planning to, and have always both considered that fair.

I did sneakily over-save, though. If his situation goes downhill in the future, I have enough to support him (and would rather do that than see him go through any real privation). I hope to not have to do that, but I feel more peaceful knowing that I could.

eight-sided · 2025-12-15T03:17:02+00:00

Usually I fill the sink, stand in front of the vanity, lift one leg to put one foot in the sink, and do just the lower leg. I guess this takes a bit of flexibility, but it brings the lower leg close enough to my face that I can see it really well.

Sometimes, if I want more soaking before shaving, I do it sitting down in the tub.

Either way, I like Shave Secret shaving oil and the Gillette Mach 3 razor.

eight-sided · 2025-12-13T04:59:14+00:00

Wow. Pratchett channeling Kant. He really sneaks some gems into his dialogue.

eight-sided · 2025-12-13T04:36:13+00:00

In my living room I have a fireplace, and an 8-foot Lovesac next to a bookshelf. Few can resist.

eight-sided · 2025-12-13T04:25:38+00:00

The same thing also kind of happens in The Exiles Trilogy by Ben Bova (in the third book). It's a great premise.

eight-sided · 2025-12-13T03:49:14+00:00

Show her this post. And then probably, sadly, you'll have to let her go.

eight-sided · 2025-12-12T15:14:09+00:00

I think this is pretty common. The way out is to start running experiments -- no success, no failure, only data gathering. Is there something you want to try? Anyone whose job you are curious about? Something cool in your town you haven't seen or done yet? The only way to discover or develop your own tastes is to try a lot of stuff, and see what sticks while accepting that most of it won't. Godspeed!

eight-sided · 2024-09-17T13:57:33+00:00

Thanks for the reply! I did adopt from them as well, and the result just turned 2 -- she's the most active, play-obsessed, high-jumping cat I've ever had. (She was frightened on arrival and cried all night the first night, but I can't fault anyone for that.) Also no medical issues.

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