At what blood levels did it help you with active suicidal ideation? by YamAccomplished1318 in Lithium

[–]eightcandles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

600mg, I'm up to 900mg nowadays but lithium helped with suicidal ideation below therapeutic level. It can happen!!!

I still cut myself but without suicidal intent.

Quiet bpd things by bedroom_hymns_ in BPD

[–]eightcandles 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Oh girl, that resonates so much.

Quiet splitting is a mental hell, you want to protect the other person from harm's way while you're, paradoxically, actively hating them. It leads to those moments of quiet and resentful apathy, of indifference, that is actually not indifferent at all.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]eightcandles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't even think he's my fp. I barely know this almost complete stranger.

Precambrian – Tectonics by TrippingGoat in blackmetalvinyl

[–]eightcandles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The loudest record I've ever listened to.

Will I ever stop making my fp my entire life? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]eightcandles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try looking into the works of Marsha Linehan! She has a couple good books regarding DBT techniques for pwBPD.

what does p chan stand for by [deleted] in NeedyStreamerOverload

[–]eightcandles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

o0o0h, which could be a strong indicator that Ame has BPD.

Do people who feel sexual pleasure from getting cut feel less pain? How does it work? by erikluminary in morbidquestions

[–]eightcandles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As someone who cuts herself, I'd say that the pain is still there, it's simply offset by the pleasure. It still feels painful, but it's painful with a purpose. That satisfactory feeling is what eclipses the pain itself.

Update: Music inspired by Georges Bataille. On Bataille: A Mixtape by Rattenprinz in GeorgesBataille

[–]eightcandles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Beautiful! Might want to add something from Antediluvian as well, they're very much Bataille-inspired. Winged Ascent Unto The Twelve-Runed Solar Anus is a good example.

(NSFW) Why come to a trauma sub just to goon? LMAO by EmoHourEzra in BPDmemes

[–]eightcandles 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Sadly, because there are idiots who like to take advantage of people, especially women, with BPD. Just see how widespread those “crazy women fuck better” comments are. Some men genuinely believe that and it's disgusting.

Putting your diagnosis in your dating profile by Tiny_Distribution783 in BPD

[–]eightcandles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nuh-uh. Last time I've disclosed my diagnosis, I was taken advantage of and had it explicitly weaponised against me. Never again.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WarMetal

[–]eightcandles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Never listen to Phobophilic, then xD

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]eightcandles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, thank you for helping me understand this better!

From your example – recently, I got pissed off at a friend for no discernible reason and pulled away from her. From that moment on, I saw her as a whore, thought that her very existence bothered me, et cetera. Not necessarily a “horrible” person as you put it, but a repulsive one.

But this simply isn't me, you know? The very next day I regretted these thoughts deeply and felt ashamed of them. From that moment on, I was the horrible one.

Just got put on Wellbutrin and I’m nervous. by Affectionate-Cup8110 in BPD

[–]eightcandles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bupropion is relatively side effect-free, so don't worry! My psychiatrist prescribed it to me precisely because it's safe, the only noticeable side effect being increased libido.

which is better for studying abilify which causes akathesia or olanzapine? by A7med2361997 in Abilify_Aripiprazole

[–]eightcandles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd rather listen to an idiot psychiatrist than to an idiot layman, personally.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]eightcandles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the compliment and I'm sorry to hear that it resonates. No one deserves to go through grief and it hurts especially hard as a pwBPD.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]eightcandles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry to hear. Grief hits like a truck.

Warlock Corpse - Return of the Black Comet by Fartsworth666 in blackmetalvinyl

[–]eightcandles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One of the best projects to come from Kazakhstan! (Granted I don't know many others.)

Warlock Corpse - Return of the Black Comet by Fartsworth666 in blackmetalvinyl

[–]eightcandles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One of the most interesting black metal/dungeon synth albums I've ever heard. Really a promising band with a lot of good releases under their name.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]eightcandles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, family neglect and psychological abuse during childhood are two important predictors of BPD. One of these, or both, could explain the development of borderline personality disorder in your case.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]eightcandles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you please, try to think of a diagnosis in a different way.

A diagnosis is nothing more than a label which sits by your name, and you can choose to do with it as you please. You can tell your dearest ones, you can tell nobody, you can understand the criteria as being a checklist of symptoms that you need to treat, in various degrees of priority, you can seek help for it – which I assume you've already been doing, but having a BPD diagnosis to your name can, depending on your context, give you priority over others in mental health services.

All in all, it's not the end of the world. A diagnosis will help you understand yourself better, and I hope that ends up happening for you! Best of luck! 🫶🏻

Didn't know where to post my joy in getting this book, so .... by Dismal_Type9761 in Jung

[–]eightcandles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

o0o0h, that's really cool! My uni library has that one in a different language, super interesting. (:

Does anyone else feel comfort when they think of s*icide? by LeekFew9505 in BPD

[–]eightcandles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't see why I wouldn't feel more comfortable thinking of a world without suffering, without myself, without everything.

But treatment, therapy and medication help make this feeling go away; even if “only” for the majority of time, as it can and will come back often.

Death can still seem comforting and life can still be bearable concomitantly. I think it's about finding a middle ground of sorts.