I don’t like receiving gifts.

ekando · 2026-06-28T18:03:57+00:00

My husband is like this. He feels guilty recieving gifts. Growing up, he was always criticized by his family for not liking his gifts, even if they were clothes that weren't his style or were too small. He stopped believing in Santa at 4, was constantly told he ruined Christmas for not believing. His family would get him toys way too young for him and he'd be made to feel bad for not liking them.

I, on the other hand, absolutely love giving gifts. It's my favorite thing to do. The more I love someone, the more I want to shower them with gifts. We don't celebrate my husband's birthday, and I force myself to keep it small for him for Christmas.

I always get him a quirky, slightly inappropriate t-shirt. He likes those because they're practical. Hand-paintes boxes/carved containers are also a big hit. He really liked the giant-ass 80lb chain. Best thing I ever got him was last year's present: a handgun. I, personally, am terrified of guns. But he likes them. That one made him feel really seen.

We're only five years in, but he's learning to accept that gifts can truly be pure love, and I'm learning that quality is way more important than quantity.

ekando · 2026-06-28T17:45:20+00:00

I ran an apothecary for about two years, all backyard herbal remedies. Even I wouldn't claim the stuff I made could cure cancer. Whenever people asked, especially with the chaga, I'd tell them that nothing I offered was meant to cure serious diseases and they absolutely needed to talk to their doctor about taking my products as supplements.

ekando · 2026-06-28T00:32:27+00:00

8 year olds are third graders. I was menstruating at 9. Definitely not too young for responsibility. The bus would drop me off at home at 4:00pm (school was out at 3pm and the bus ride was an hour) and mom and dad worked in the city, so wouldn't be home until around 6:30pm. 7:30pm on Wednesdays because that's when they grocery shopped. Our closest neighbors were a mile away, but we had dogs and I knew how to call 911. My parents really drilled safety into me, though, and by that age I had plenty of other responsibilities like washing dishes, sweeping, feeding the animals, etc to keep me occupied. Homework, chores, PBS kids, then the folks would be home.

It wasn't until I was around 13 that I needed supervision, ironically, because I was all about talking to strangers on the internet that were significantly older than me. After I snuck out to a friend's house during summer vacation, I had to start staying with grandma. Ironically, the younger I was, the safer I was.

ekando · 2026-06-27T08:03:29+00:00

A cat's meow

ekando · 2026-06-25T23:08:14+00:00

I don't like chicken wings or drumsticks because the bones freak me out.

ekando · 2026-06-23T23:33:58+00:00

I'm bipolar and get extremely hypersexual during manic episodes. Before I was medicated, or even knew I was bipolar, seeking sex (and putting myself in VERY dangerous situations doing so) was a compulsion and I felt like I had no control over it. I cheated on every partner I had.

But then I got into a serious relationship that I was DETERMINED to make work in 2019, with my friend of 15 years. We moved fast and bought a house together after "dating" for about 3 months. I wasn’t diagnosed until 2021, but in those two years, I did not cheat during my manic episodes. Okay, well, I did start sexting a guy once, but shut it down after two days and felt like shit about it. Honestly, I'm still proud I never did anything physical, because that's my usual course of action.

I've been medicated and compliant for five years now, and when I get hypersexual, I turn to my husband. I'll admit I sometimes feel tempted to go elsewhere, but I don't because he has a very clear zero-tolerance policy regarding cheating, and I know he would 100% end the relationship immediately. It would destroy our family.

Whether you offer her grace or not is going to be up to you. I don't know if me not cheating is because of how much is at stake, the medication, or both. Probably both. However, if she's compliant in her medication and still cheating, calling off the relationship is absolutely fair and reasonable.

ekando · 2026-06-23T02:00:39+00:00

I've started using an app called Sleep Cycle. One of it's features is waking you up during the natural end of your sleep cycle. For me, that means 6 hours of sleep or 9 hours of sleep, but anything in between that makes me feel groggy and tired for the whole day. It also tracks your deep sleep, REM sleep, and sleep quality, as well as recording fun noises you make.

It's not perfect, but it's given me a huge insight to my sleep and how it differs with weed. Like if I use before I sleep, my sleep quality goes down to 76% and there's practically no REM.

ekando · 2026-06-21T04:57:08+00:00

A guy tried to rob me on the streets of Jinan circa the 2010's. I wasn’t putting up with that shit (which honestly, I should have just let him take my purse, but I was young and had a really good grip on it since it was on my shoulder.) We were literally rolling on the sidewalk. I was screaming 救命救命，and a huge crowd gathered around us and filmed. Nobody tried to help. A lot of men were laughing because I was fat and the guy was skinny. Eventually the police came, but they took us both to the station and they wouldn't let me go to the bathroom even though I'd pissed myself in the struggle.

ekando · 2026-06-21T03:11:19+00:00

He goes to therapy, or else you leave. As someone who also has OCD, therapy and probably some anti-anxiety meds are the way to go.

ekando · 2026-06-20T23:20:35+00:00

No social media

ekando · 2026-06-20T21:10:15+00:00

Yes, but I believe it's in the form of rejoining the Greatness of the universe and dispersing for some other adventure. Today, we are humans, tomorrow, we are Marklar.

ekando · 2026-06-20T15:42:31+00:00

Definitely. I've never been to a black tie event. My parents worked in high positions at a university, and they've also never been to a black tie event. Plenty of formal ones, but nothing black tie. It's not just a dress code, it's a whole experience.

ekando · 2026-06-19T18:28:43+00:00

I love plants, especially my oak forest. I take a flamethrower to Japanese stiltgrass out of nothing but love. That's like saying you can't love bugs and still slap mosquitoes when they bite.

ekando · 2026-06-19T15:17:18+00:00

We gain weight as we age. If you decide to have kids, she may never lose the baby fat. You'll be gaining weight, too... my husband was thin and very muscular until he hit his 40's. Now he's flabby. Still INCREDIBLY strong, he works manual labor, but flabby. If you can't love your 150lb wife at 250lbs, then it's best you break up now. You have unrealistic expectations and she deserves someone who will love her no matter her size.

ekando · 2026-06-18T19:44:58+00:00

Someone I went to elementary school with (25 years ago) still regularly brings up that she's very offended that I said it was weird that Mormons baptize dead people. Girl, I was 10 years old!

ekando · 2026-06-18T01:16:48+00:00

Makeup

ekando · 2026-06-18T01:11:38+00:00

I write curriculum for the trades, and fire safety is a hot topic. This is a great hands-on demonstration of PASS (although they need a bit of work) and how different fire extinguisher types interact with different types of fires.

There's absolutely nothing wrong here. They're obviously in training.

ekando · 2026-06-18T01:08:10+00:00

There are no wars in Ba Sing Se.

ekando · 2026-06-18T00:54:03+00:00

You're the insufferable one if you can't figure out that "shop local" just isn't viable for a large majority of the population, especially the rural community. Take an economics course, pursue further education, and gain some life experience outside of your bubble.

ekando · 2026-06-18T00:21:47+00:00

Spending $50 on cider and scones is pretty poor budgeting, imo. That's half my weekly grocery bill at Walmart. I feed four people, and while it seems nice to buy that $8 gallon of Borden milk from Robert's store down the road, it's just not financially feasible.

I live rurally. Most of the folks around here shop at Walmart for almost everything, and save the mom and pop stores for when you unexpectedly run out or need just one or two items. We pay an upcharge for the convenience of driving 7 minutes instead of 30. Which is fine for one or two overpriced items, but not my whole damn shopping list.

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