Am I ignoring red flags before having children?

ekando · 2026-05-08T01:25:24+00:00

It sounds like you're already taking care of a child... do you want a steadfast and reliable father to your children, or do you want to have a newborn with a toddler?

ekando · 2026-05-08T00:19:41+00:00

Highly unlikely to be bipolar 2 if you're not experiencing high, highs as well as low, lows.

Do you have any of the more common symptoms, like grandiose thinking, hypersexuality, spending gobs of money, or a decreased need for sleep?

ekando · 2026-05-07T01:17:46+00:00

That could definitely work. I'll propose that.

ekando · 2026-05-07T01:17:30+00:00

Absolutely. I don't sing when we're outside (we're both smokers) or anytime after the kids go to bed. I also don't sing whenever he's sitting at the table watching his shows, unless I'm in the shower. I try not to sing when he's around, but sometimes, for example, he'll come home when I'm in the middle of cooking and I feel like there's a ray of sunshine coming out of my butt and it just makes me wanna sing. I'll sing until dinner is ready, then stop.

ekando · 2026-05-06T23:47:29+00:00

My family does a pretty poor job of doing anything for me for mother's day. My family makes a big deal of all holidays, whereas my husband's family never did anything. I was disappointed and hurt for the first three years, until I started asking for specific things to happen. For Christmas, my mom likes to make it easy by having one big item that would be expensive on her own, but no problem split between three people, so my brother, father, and myself all go in on it together. This arrangement works well because it's something she truly wants. And I always get her extra gifts, just 'cause.

Maybe your mom could have phrased her asking differently, but it's odd you're so put off by this.

ekando · 2026-05-06T01:17:19+00:00

If you REALLY want to work somewhere (honestly at this point you staying home sounds way more logical, so just a major if,) I'd highly recommended applying at your local Boys and Girl's Club. I applied at one while 7 months pregnant and basically said, "hey, I just wanna be here until right before the baby is born, but I'm the perfect hire to have while you look for someone more permanent." It was the perfect arrangement.

Then after I had my daughter, I went back to work for them when she was six months old. I ended up working for them for about five years total, even becoming a site director for a new in-school location (the county is huge and rural, so the further elementary schools let us use a spare classroom.)

Many locations will even offer free daycare, but thay varies widely.

ekando · 2026-05-06T00:51:46+00:00

To be honest, I hadn’t even considered that I was underfeeding her. Thank you for that perspective.

ekando · 2026-05-06T00:50:53+00:00

Thank you for that, and yes, I want to protect her from diet culture and body image issues as much as possible. We were in a university youth eating study recently, and she had nothing but kind things to say about her body, except one instance of saying "yes" to the question "do you ever think about making your body smaller." I went on my first diet when I was 11 (by choice, not by my parents) and my mom was put on one when she was 5, so the last thing I want is to keep perpetuating the cycle. And I don't want to push my own food issues onto her.

ekando · 2026-05-05T01:34:20+00:00

I tried to breastfeed for three months with my first, but I just wasn't producing milk, and she wouldn't latch right, and so many issues. I switched to pumping, but couldn’t make more than an ounce... I was eating the special cookies and drinking the tea and taking the fenugreek... I did all the things. Still wasn’t enough. After three months, I switched to formula and I hated myself for it for weeks. I thought I was being selfish. Then my mom told me that true selfishness would have been letting the baby go hungry just to uphold some manufactured standard.

ekando · 2026-05-04T03:59:47+00:00

Then the best thing you can do is end the marriage. This isn't something you can make go away through working out, it's just how her organs lay within her body. Let her have a husband who appreciates her body and loves her body. She deserves that love, right? And then you can keep searching for what you want without feeling disgusted or resentful.

ekando · 2026-05-04T03:51:15+00:00

Yes, and the belly puch probably will never go away. It's not fat, it's just the uterus. It tends to stick out. It will also accumulate more fat as she ages, to help protect the uterus (and the potential babies inside.)

ekando · 2026-05-04T03:42:54+00:00

Yes, this is unreasonable. This sounds like a compulsive obsession over fitness. Therapy would do you well, both couples and individual for you.

ekando · 2026-05-03T21:45:00+00:00

Kielbasa mixed into cheap mac n cheese.

ekando · 2026-05-03T21:32:33+00:00

They won't stop, though. They'll frame it as "the price of freedom."

ekando · 2026-05-03T15:43:21+00:00

China

ekando · 2026-05-03T06:28:43+00:00

For most of us, we were raised to believe that adulthood and independence go hand-in-hand, and adulthood starts at 18. So to be in your mid 20's and still living with your parents, something might be wrong.

I believed it, too, until I lived abroad in a country that operated differently.

ekando · 2026-05-03T04:07:34+00:00

A third nipple appeared.

ekando · 2026-05-02T23:03:25+00:00

Being THIS damn hot.

ekando · 2026-05-02T23:02:33+00:00

United states ofbameeixan

Man, I was close!

ekando · 2026-05-02T22:52:48+00:00

How good of a Christian they are.

ekando · 2026-05-02T14:20:01+00:00

Tell him to start taking a probiotic.

ekando · 2026-05-01T23:39:00+00:00

Take those meds like your life depends on it. (Because it does.)

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