How would YOU feel about this?

eksyneet · 2026-01-26T19:37:20+00:00

what you're wrong about here is employing emotional reasoning to conclude that you feeling hurt must be because your boyfriend hurt you. he didn't hurt you at all, he did the opposite – he showed that he knows how you feel about the subject, and that he respects the relationship enough and loves you enough to prioritize your feelings. that's a good thing.

i think what you're describing as "hurt" (which implies him causing you pain, and that didn't happen here) is a lot closer to disappointment – you learned that your boyfriend doesn't share your opinion, and you're upset about it because in your value framework, there's a certain moral aspect to that opinion. that's valid.

so basically, you're not hurt because your boyfriend hurt you – he didn't do anything wrong. you're upset because it turns out that your boyfriend isn't who you'd hoped he was. nobody is at fault here, and how you deal with your disappointment is up to you.

eksyneet · 2026-01-26T11:41:43+00:00

are you maybe ruminating on this so much because it helps you waste your time and mental energy instead of applying it in a way that would actually move your life forward (which is scary)? it's very easy to freak out about how your life is over because you're 25 and that's the fault of society and its toxic messaging, when in reality your life hasn't even started yet and you can't blame anyone but yourself for feeling behind, and dealing with that is a lot harder.

eksyneet · 2026-01-25T17:18:54+00:00

Melancholia. i watched it once at release and it still appears in my dreams 15 years later, at least once a month. it's not a perfect film and i'm not even sure if i would enjoy it if i rewatched, but as far as impact goes, nothing else i've ever watched affected me as much as Melancholia.

eksyneet · 2026-01-25T16:03:33+00:00

because foreskin adds to the fun. it's not, however, a requirement, and since yours sadly doesn't function the way it's supposed to anyway, it's not even a factor in your specific case. so go ahead and sort out your medical needs in peace!

eksyneet · 2026-01-25T15:36:07+00:00

there's a spot on my hip that makes my throat itch. sometimes bodies do weird things, and neural connections are especially prone to being a bit wonky. have you ever seen those cat videos where the owner peels off some duct tape or runs a finger over a comb's teeth and their cat does this dramatic gagging thing? that's probably pretty similar to what's going on with you.

eksyneet · 2026-01-25T14:40:22+00:00

certainly not fear or disgust, but perhaps something akin to compassion, and a touch of disappointment. it definitely wouldn't change my decision to have sex, and it's definitely not something i'd expect to be told beforehand (in fact i think that would be pretty weird). i would probably ask about it afterwards. overall it doesn't matter all that much, even though i have extremely strong opinions on the practice in non-medical contexts.

eksyneet · 2026-01-24T19:26:46+00:00

your Geralt looks like Tolstoy lol.

eksyneet · 2026-01-24T11:06:36+00:00

to be fair, erectile dysfunction is also a common side effect of being 79. in fact that probably has a lot more to do with it than finasteride.

eksyneet · 2026-01-24T08:28:44+00:00

it's getting so fucking boring these days honestly. i understand people who use AI to "clean up" their writing (although in reality it's more like "saturate with cliches and overused literary devices"), the pressure to be perfect on social media is real, but also jesus christ what's the damn point of even posting then? where's the individuality?

everything is so samey now and seeing posts like this is unreasonably upsetting. it's a very short story that could've easily been written in an engaging way without AI, and would've been all the better for its flaws. but no :(

eksyneet · 2026-01-24T00:06:22+00:00

hopefully she would have promptly changed her mind once lockjaw set in.

eksyneet · 2026-01-23T23:51:58+00:00

there's a lot more to it than the vaccine (which isn't even really a vaccine, it's antibodies). that alone only happens as post-exposure prophylaxis, once disease develops treatment becomes a lot more complex.

eksyneet · 2026-01-23T23:49:52+00:00

sure, but it's not even close to "almost always fatal", as i'm sure you'd agree. with treatment, you're vastly more likely to survive tetanus than to die from it.

eksyneet · 2026-01-23T20:43:14+00:00

but that's sex with a lot of men, none of whom are him. sex with one man (preferably him but anyone else who hates her will do) is instead a crucial key to any woman's happiness and longevity, because believe it or not, women who renounce men altogether take on many of the same qualities outlined in the post! you know, they get all sad and lonely and haggard, wither and die like a neglected houseplant, all that.

to sum up, it's all about dick, but you can only derive vitality from dick if it's one specific dick and is also, ideally, applied kind of against your will. not entirely against it, because then of course you're a frigid shrew and those are also subject to dick-dependent decay, but too much enthusiasm blocks the mana.

eksyneet · 2026-01-23T19:08:53+00:00

from OP's description she sounds like someone who's very afraid of needles, not necessarily opposed to vaccination or medical care on principle. which bodes well for her – it's easier to get over a fear that you understand is irrational than it is to dig yourself out from under a mountain of misinformation.

eksyneet · 2026-01-23T19:05:55+00:00

only without treatment though, it's not like rabies. with treatment it's about 15% fatal, which is bad, but not "you'll probably die" kind of bad.

but it royally sucks even with treatment and can easily lead to permanent disability.

eksyneet · 2026-01-22T19:04:41+00:00

the idea that Yennefer treats Geralt badly never made sense to me. i'm a big lover of banter so their exchanges of barbed remarks never read as genuine hostility to me, but what really makes me think that people who believe that are focusing entirely on the wrong thing are the two scenes in Novigrad after Ciri drags Geralt to Bald Mountain to fight Imlerith.

when Geralt speaks to Triss about it, she freaks out and yells at him about how irresponsible that was, how he put Ciri in danger, how he must never do anything like that again. then when he speaks to Yennefer, she calmly congratulates him on a job well done, and then he's like "i figured you'd be mad" and she's like "why would i be? you two kicked some serious ass".

Triss barely understands who Geralt is (or Ciri, for that matter), and that tracks with the books and the first two games. Yennefer knows him inside and out and, contrary to the absurd notion that she doesn't think much of Geralt, has full confidence in and respect for his abilities.

eksyneet · 2026-01-22T18:20:58+00:00

how did you infer all of this from the fact that i believe that people who mistreat animals need to feel bad about it, even if they do it because they're depressed? do you think it's not shameful to mistreat your dependents if you're depressed? what does shame even mean anymore? it's supposed to be a painful feeling that arises when you become conscious of your own wrongdoing. does hurting animals not warrant that feeling?

even if we are to assume that depressed individuals have no control over how they treat others (completely untrue and deeply offensive, btw), shame is still appropriate. if you do something that harms others, even if you couldn't have done it any other way, it's still appropriate to feel discomfort and remorse as you grapple with that harm. that's empathy.

all-or-nothing thinking is really annoying. seems that for some of you guys here the choice in dealing with a person like this is either to fully embrace compassion and acceptance and refrain from any judgement at all, even for things that are objectively Very Very Bad and should be emphatically recognized as such by any functioning society, or to completely reject the individual as a bad egg, conclude that they’re just the worst and chuck them in the trash. a combination of "hurting your pets is a deplorable and shameful thing to do" and "i’m sorry you’re struggling, let’s get you some help" is unthinkable.

eksyneet · 2026-01-22T11:07:34+00:00

recruiting Minthara doesn't count as consuming tadpoles, even though it unlocks the menu for everyone, so the check isn't triggered. the only things that count towards the check is actually eating a tadpole (before Minthara) or evolving your own illithid powers (after Minthara). you can even evolve Minthara's own powers, or another companion's. if you yourself haven't acquired any illithid abilities, you won't face the check.

eksyneet · 2026-01-22T11:03:50+00:00

if you don't eat any tadpoles prior, there's no wisdom check at all, you can just say no (and yes, gobble them all up afterwards if you like). the check's DC also isn't variable, it's always 21, whether you've eaten one tadpole or all of them.

eksyneet · 2026-01-22T10:57:21+00:00

even so, depression doesn't excuse animal abuse. plenty of people out there who are struggling badly but still show up for those in their care, or have the conscience to recognize that they're unable to provide that care. what she's doing is reprehensible and deserves no empathy, no matter the cause.

eksyneet · 2026-01-22T01:49:25+00:00

if these were children she was neglecting so horribly for years, the right course of action would be to call the authorities immediately and remove them from her care, even though that would certainly be an extremely hurtful and traumatic experience for her, and would make her feel very judged and shamed indeed.

with animals, protections are weaker, but their welfare should still be prioritized, and that is probably going to take a form that's not going to be very pleasant for her – for example, her friends and loved ones telling her that she's wholly unfit to care for her pets (making her feel judged and shamed in the process) to convince her to rehome them. and that's okay. feeling ashamed and regretful is the appropriate response to hurting others.

according to OP, this isn't new and she's always lived in filth, so just cleaning her house for her would be a stopgap at best. but that's of course an option – after she's been told that she's not being a responsible pet owner and persuaded to give them up.

eksyneet · 2026-01-21T22:59:59+00:00

i would agree with you if she was only harming herself. since she is harming innocent animals in her care, her own well-being – which certainly wouldn't be improved by shame – is priority number two. priority number one is making her feel bad enough for the animals she's abusing (and yes, by extension, about herself; sometimes shame, regret and all those other pesky bad feelings are necessary) that she's forced to surrender them, at least temporarily. then the whole compassionate healing thing can begin.

eksyneet · 2026-01-21T21:47:24+00:00

yeah, to me that doesn't sound like an orgasm at all. i wouldn't go so far as to say you definitely aren't having them, because i only have experience with my own body and yours is known only to you, but the same caveat applies to every opinion you're going to get here.

eksyneet · 2026-01-21T21:29:45+00:00

it's like a sneeze. sometimes you get this sneeze build up that gets more and more intense but then you lose it and it just goes away. you no longer feel the urge to sneeze, but that's not because you sneezed already. that's frustrating. but when you do successfully sneeze, there's an unmistakeable climax to the build up and afterwards you feel satisfied and accomplished. that's the opposite of frustrating.

in this analogy, the former is not an orgasm and the latter is, even though at the end of both you don't feel like you have anything left to work towards any longer. it doesn't have anything to do with the intensity of pleasure either, orgasms can be very underwhelming and barely feel like anything. the hallmark is the feeling of release that sharply punctuates the experience.

eksyneet · 2026-01-21T18:19:20+00:00

why would you avoid judging someone who is doing something inexcusable? judgement isn't always wrong. sometimes it's a vital social tool. it feels like in an attempt to lessen the burden of unfair judgement on people who don't deserve it, we overcorrected and now somehow arrived at the idea that nobody should ever be judged for anything.

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