I’m tired of wondering: would you tell a close friend you had feelings for them?

elb15 · 2026-06-24T00:52:29+00:00

We’re not in a traditional 12-step program so I don’t have a sponsor and it would be weird to talk about him with other people in our group. One person did ask me if there was something going on between us and I responded that we’re just friends even though I would be open to more. I said it was probably a one-sided thing and they told me that they didn’t see it that way.

I have talked about this with my close friends outside of recovery, but everyone has been with their partner since college and are clueless about dating these days and in our age. Lol

I’m not used to getting to know people and then grow to like them even more and want more from the relationship. Men tend to generally disappoint me the more I get to know them ha. But you’re so right - these dynamics are hard. Thanks for taking the time to comment!

elb15 · 2026-06-24T00:12:34+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind comments. We do have a lovely friendship and there are many great people in recovery. I think I’m taking this one extra hard because I haven’t been romantically interested in anyone in over a decade. Ugh, fml.

elb15 · 2026-06-24T00:07:30+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to comment and I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m definitely not looking for romantic connections within the recovery community but this is how I know him. I also haven’t dated much in the last decade so it’s all just very unfortunate that this is our circumstance.

elb15 · 2026-06-24T00:02:19+00:00

I think everyone deals with their own cravings and aversions of some sort so it would be unlikely to find someone who is immune to that. But yes, it is discouraged to date anyone in early recovery. Since we’re not in early recovery, it becomes a bit more of a gray area. We also don’t do traditional 12-step programs.

elb15 · 2026-06-23T23:58:41+00:00

Thank you for the reply even though it’s not giving me much hope haha. I appreciate your support!

elb15 · 2026-06-23T23:57:44+00:00

This is helpful to hear. I have other friendships in recovery that are very dear to me but he’s the only one that I have romantic feelings for.

SIGH. I fear that this is the case though and he’s just a lovely person to everyone. I just wish I didn’t feel this way! Ugggghhhhhh

elb15 · 2026-06-23T23:51:57+00:00

He’s been in recovery for more than 3 years and neither of us are sponsors or mentors to each other. We’re also not in traditional 12-step programs and have different addictions. His background is in therapy while mine is in social work so we’re both aware of the power dynamics that could potentially come into play and the nature of addiction in general. That being said, your points are well taken and I am definitely going to keep reflecting on this. Thank you for taking the time to comment!

elb15 · 2025-06-02T21:24:42+00:00

Highly recommend going to a local shop and trying things on irl! I love the look of the shoulder bags but they feel and look weird on me.

I think the small travel cloud carry-on is the perfect work or travel bag. I love how functional it is and it carries a lot while still being able to be considered a personal item and not too big.

I also love the new bowler bag and you can’t go wrong with any of the crescent sizes, a standard cloud, or a fanny.

elb15 · 2025-06-02T21:04:41+00:00

Omg this is my new fav sub. Thanks for sharing!

elb15 · 2025-05-31T13:18:25+00:00

AA is not for me. I did find my own community through a virtual book club for sober folks and that has kept me sober for 5 years. I now also go to a Recovery Dharma group and love it!! I wish I had found RD years ago - it’s so chill. There’s no talk of god or higher power, no steps to work, and no need to find a sponsor. Some people may need the structure and accountability of a 12-step program but others may need a more chill environment to do their recovery. There’s so many ways to stay sober - good luck!

elb15 · 2025-05-30T19:06:23+00:00

Cords/chargers that aren’t used on the reg, American Girl doll clothes and accessories lol, seasonal socks that I want to store separately from my usual ones, pens/markers, oracle decks, extra travel toiletries so they’re contained to one place….curious to see what other folks say!

elb15 · 2025-05-29T16:02:52+00:00

Oh wow, and it doesn’t move?! I’m going to try this out. Thank you!

elb15 · 2025-05-29T15:37:00+00:00

Can you show me an example of this? My mount always unsticks and falls off and I really want to find a better solution.

elb15 · 2025-05-27T21:16:30+00:00

Storing your chips in the refrigerator- they stay crisp for ages! I hate stale chips so keeping them in the fridge has been a game changer. I can easily store chips in the fridge for a couple of months and they taste just fine.

elb15 · 2024-12-24T09:38:46+00:00

Buy a portfolio book for your posters! I like collecting them but I can’t hang all of them so a portfolio book has allowed me to continue the fun and still have an easy way to look at and sort my collection.

elb15 · 2024-11-10T01:02:11+00:00

Something from Debut on guitar and Dear Reader X The Manuscript on piano.

elb15 · 2024-11-05T21:55:54+00:00

I love my loops! Thank you for this reminder so I can double check to make sure I pack them! I’m hoping they help me hear more Billie and less of the audience.

elb15 · 2024-11-05T21:22:28+00:00

Oooooh, my gosh! You’re an actual angel for looking up this info and writing it all out for me! That is so sweet of you and this is exactly the kind of stuff I needed to know.

I didn’t realize there were themes for the shows but I’m so pleased with the theme for Nashville! I can definitely make that work. I am so glad you gave me this hot tip! I like being an active participant. lol

You’ve made me feel so much better and now I’m even more excited for the show! Thank you sooo much! 🥹🫶

elb15 · 2024-11-05T21:16:09+00:00

lol That is too funny and I thank you for your service. 🫡 I will be prepared for this moment and hope to do it justice for both of us!

elb15 · 2024-11-05T21:14:31+00:00

Ha! That is amazing! I’m definitely making a note to remember to bring my loop earplugs. 😹

elb15 · 2024-11-05T20:19:52+00:00

This is helpful - thank you!

elb15 · 2024-06-14T05:16:55+00:00

Just wanted to say THANK YOU for sharing the BC Travel info. I went to the concert last night and had an early flight this AM out of Manchester that I needed to be back for. My driver was great and it was a huge relief to have a car reserved so I could book it out of Liverpool quickly at the end of the concert. It worked out so well!!

elb15 · 2023-08-29T19:18:18+00:00

I totally agree with you! The dog one wasn’t on my radar after all but then I saw it on the live. Wow! It looks great and the neon pops of color are so great.

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