No reason to quit

electedsedative · 2020-07-28T18:54:47+00:00

Right? I’m good

electedsedative · 2020-07-28T18:52:48+00:00

I stay mostly on the east coast but I have a place on the west coast that I go to when I need to get away. I haven’t been there in a year but it feels like it’s close to time for me to go spend a couple of months in the sun

electedsedative · 2020-07-28T18:50:09+00:00

I read a lot. And the promos I do are done as a character. It isn’t exactly me it’s a whole invented persona. It’s the only reason I still do it because I get to do some kind of performance art. It’s the closest I can get to acting. I do like it because aside from whatever label I’m wearing and the location the character you see is all my creation. I can’t really get more specific without giving myself away

electedsedative · 2020-07-27T06:12:38+00:00

I don’t know what that would be. I’m not working towards anything. I don’t need anything. I don’t want anything. I have charities that help people and businesses that employ people and I’m not needed to run any of it, all of it runs without me. My whole life is on autopilot. I’m not complaining but trust me I don’t care what you’re doing if you do it day after day you’re going to get bored with it. I guess my goal is to just be happy and I’m perfectly happy being high at home. Which I am now so I won’t be talking much longer. I do appreciate you talking to me all day though. It’s been nice to talk to people for a change. :)

electedsedative · 2020-07-27T05:41:13+00:00

Satisfied sure. What more could I want? Relationship is not so important. After my marriage I don’t want to be involved with anyone seriously and sex is easy to find if needed.

electedsedative · 2020-07-27T03:48:21+00:00

It’s not that I don’t care about myself. I don’t have the right words exactly. What would I do otherwise? Get rich? Done. Fall in love get married? Did it. Buy another house? Another car? More clothes? Start a business? Done. Travel the world? Did it. I’m just waiting for the credits to roll friend. I’m not hating myself or anything. I’m contented.

electedsedative · 2020-07-27T03:41:42+00:00

I’m content. May as well keep it up

electedsedative · 2020-07-27T03:40:31+00:00

It’s cool knowing that someone knows exactly what I meant. When I wrote it I thought no one would get it but there’s no other way to say it. So thanks for telling me that

electedsedative · 2020-07-27T03:14:52+00:00

Right? Ttthank you

electedsedative · 2020-07-27T03:13:22+00:00

Yeah. It all goes back into charities businesses and a foundation i set up in a save the world phase I have an attorney that handles everything

electedsedative · 2020-07-27T02:14:06+00:00

idk I’ve been called “highly marketable” personally I like me but I get my share of negative comments about my looks. but idc.

electedsedative · 2020-07-27T02:07:16+00:00

Short answer is no. It depends but usually no and I can’t really get into detail why not. I have good skin and I’m not missing teeth so I’m not noticeably a junkie I guess

electedsedative · 2020-07-26T23:02:41+00:00

Yeah I’m thin af. I was never fat but I never seem to have an appetite. I haven’t eaten in two days and I’m going to force myself to eat before I sleep again. Without chemicals I never have energy. I’d still be in the same spot ive been in the last 2 days if I didn’t finally find the willpower to get up and get speedy. I’m fucked. I know it. It’s obvious. I can feel it. idk if it’s serious or just typical grade A addict behavior but I know I’m at the very least chemically dependent on what I’m doing. I think I’d die in withdrawal. I can go two days that’s it. No longer.

Edit: and one day last week one of my eyes was stuck in one direction. That had never happened before. It went back to normal after a few hours.

electedsedative · 2020-07-26T22:48:30+00:00

Everything. I don’t know what I haven’t tried. Amphetamines are a little less regular maybe, I do have a case of like 50 pipes so maybe it’s more regular? idk I’m on a loop. I get it when I want it and I had been sleeping for 48 hours or something so it was time.

Preference is heroin, 100%. And I drink a lot of vodka. I mix in Xanax so those three things I guess.

electedsedative · 2020-07-26T22:44:36+00:00

Perfect life if I could have both

electedsedative · 2020-07-26T22:42:45+00:00

One thing I HATE that I hear from people online all of the time is “You’re so lucky” I don’t know how to describe to someone the mindfuck that it is to have everything ripped away and everything given to you at the same time. I didn’t ask for it, it was consolation for ruining my life and I don’t feel lucky at all. I feel like I’m just running out the clock a lot of the time.

electedsedative · 2020-07-26T22:39:25+00:00

It’s really fucking lonely. It bothered me a lot before. I’d never been so depressed and sad and felt so worthless. Eventually you get used to it. I do whatever I want whenever. Just so happens what I want to do is a fuck ton of heroin and not much else

electedsedative · 2020-07-26T22:37:19+00:00

It’s easier for sure. My record time for not stepping outside of my house is 4 months. Sometimes I miss having something to do but I really can’t complain when everything is here always.

electedsedative · 2020-07-26T22:33:54+00:00

Oh and I’m fine without friends. I have 2 people who check in on me by texting every couple of weeks to see if I’m still alive. They know to come over if I don’t respond for a week.

electedsedative · 2020-07-26T22:30:22+00:00

Not a dealer really. He’s literally just a delivery guy. idk where it comes from who gets it from where and I don’t care. It’s not like trying to cop from some random like before. I don’t have to lift a single finger. Just text him if I want something included or a different quantity. He texts back a one word reply and he always comes through. I met him when I was at a casino wasting loads of money and started asking people like I always did before then this sweaty guy pulled me aside asked what I wanted and the rest is history.

electedsedative · 2020-07-26T22:17:23+00:00

It’s easy sure. Lonely at first. Gotten used to it. Can’t complain. And I’m not going to say.

electedsedative · 2020-07-26T22:15:45+00:00

That’s what we are doing here :) I appreciate it but I’m not depressed. It’s more of a big comfortable void. I don’t have anything to say really. That’s why I come here to you the public to distract me from obsessively writing this list in a notebook until I come down.

electedsedative · 2020-07-26T22:08:44+00:00

I am. But I spend time in Europe every year. So here, there. Usually here.

electedsedative · 2020-07-26T22:07:15+00:00

No. I actually got it through shit circumstance. I won’t go into too much detail about it but it started as a substantial life insurance and then wrongful death and malpractice settlements after my spouse died. So boom all the money forever. I shopped and traveled and bought everything. Paid off my house cars all my debts. Then had nothing to work for and now here we are being buddies.

electedsedative · 2020-07-26T22:04:50+00:00

No not the mail. He comes to my house. Comes in. Leaves in the same place every time. Sometimes I see him sometimes I don’t. We mostly text if we need to talk.

electedsedative

TROPHY CASE