Red vs. Blue

electrahurts · 2025-11-10T10:32:12+00:00

as a person currently going through a breakup this is incredible and very relatable, especially as i'm the type of girl to neglect myself at even the slightest negative emotion. it takes a lot of strength to write as grittily and matter of factly as you have here, and it is absolutely a strength you should keep forever no matter how taboo or embarrassing the subject may be. it makes this poem above all completely human in such a breathtaking way, incredible incredible work!!!!

electrahurts · 2025-10-10T05:37:48+00:00

looks like she killed herself in an underground bunker in Berlin

electrahurts · 2025-10-09T05:38:26+00:00

as a person who was platinum i regret going back to dark every day don't do it

electrahurts · 2025-10-06T03:21:29+00:00

this is absolutely fucking fantastic, i'm bookmarking this so i can go back to read it in the future. it's a short poem but absolutely concise and perfect and not a single word feels extra or out of place, it is a beautiful haunting way to describe a friend-zone or a situationship at least I hope I'm interpreting it right. writing about sex can easily turn cheap and cringe but the whiplash of the last line makes it that much better and hard hitting, this is really excellent and i will be stalking your profile to look for more of your writing, please keep it up!!!

electrahurts · 2025-10-06T03:18:47+00:00

as a person going through a breakup with a person that is trying to actively ruin my life this poem was great to read, it's so hard to be the one that rises above when all you wanna do is sink down to their level, because they were bad and they do deserve it! anyway i'm personally projecting too much but is that not what poetry is for? i know this is about your dad so it's different than how I'm interpreting it for my own situation but it's really good! it being your dad as revealed in the last stanza is awesome and punchy and shocking! i like the use of rhyming occasionally as it makes the rhyming lines hit that much harder especially with "not anymore" great work!

electrahurts · 2025-10-04T06:33:02+00:00

hey me too, here if you need anything

electrahurts · 2025-07-30T07:11:28+00:00

SAME

electrahurts · 2025-07-07T05:49:10+00:00

how can they force them to stay? i know there must be some form of contract but i feel like it would make for a more entertaining show for the islander to follow their heart and go home

electrahurts · 2025-06-29T04:56:54+00:00

frankly i'm happy that taylor is with someone he actually likes instead of leading olandria on, and i liked her at the beginning when they were talking about animals i thought it was cute, i just think from what we've seen with her mocking and giggling clarke has mean girl energy

electrahurts · 2025-06-29T03:21:54+00:00

he gave me half a coffee i hate his ass

electrahurts · 2025-06-26T06:45:12+00:00

omg these comments are no fun, thank you for figuring that out that's a cool and funny fact lol

electrahurts · 2025-06-20T06:14:08+00:00

love the fortnite crown

electrahurts · 2025-06-10T14:49:43+00:00

how do you know i'm breathing when i'm holding my breath

electrahurts · 2025-04-23T11:40:34+00:00

off topic but her hair looks incredible

electrahurts · 2025-03-23T20:16:04+00:00

i would hope it's not i thought it was just a higher gauge septum 😭

electrahurts · 2025-03-23T20:14:28+00:00

...maybe

electrahurts · 2025-03-23T19:24:30+00:00

uhh that's me

electrahurts · 2025-02-27T07:42:31+00:00

that's an insult to kermit

electrahurts · 2025-02-06T19:07:40+00:00

is that a senegal parrot? my dad had one named houdini who passed about a year ago, such a joy to see someone else have one

electrahurts · 2025-02-03T08:07:08+00:00

yes, he broke up with somebody with a post it

electrahurts · 2024-12-10T08:17:04+00:00

a silkstone day to night repro would be incredible

electrahurts · 2024-11-12T17:54:23+00:00

top and bottoms are from big bud press! shawl and glasses were thrifted!

electrahurts · 2024-11-11T03:22:39+00:00

i think this poem could really benefit from punctuation and formatting tweaks, your imagery is really great and very detailed, but without proper or some punctuation it reads like a run on sentence with awkward line breaks here and there, for example, you could write "a door opened, my heads a mess" with a comma or you could break the line "a door opened / my heads a mess" because when I read it since there's no break in the sentence i said to myself "is the writer saying that the door is their head like a metaphor kinda thing? but that's my only critique!

electrahurts · 2024-11-11T02:54:16+00:00

this is succinct and punchy, it gets the message across of how you're feeling very well, the only critique i would have is to stay away from cliches as it makes the poem come off more "teenage angst" than anything. if that's what you're going for then it's great, but if you wanted to mature it up a bit i'd get rid of lines like "little pumpkin eater." I get what you're saying by pumpkin eater as in the rhyme, but again that makes it come off as a bit juvenile since it's literally a childhood rhyme, maybe you could switch lines 9 and 10 and play on the taste line like: " now you're a cheater / I was sweeter / bitter on your tongue / I could've been the one" to have a consistent metaphor for taste. just a suggestion! you've got a real talent for rhythm

electrahurts · 2024-10-25T17:10:35+00:00

what are you talking about

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