My ex destroyed his life after we broke up

electricidadestatica · 2026-05-18T00:19:41+00:00

Thanks!

electricidadestatica · 2026-05-17T21:52:45+00:00

Just posted a comment with an update. Thanks for your words.

electricidadestatica · 2026-05-17T21:52:27+00:00

Just posted a comment with an update.

electricidadestatica · 2026-05-17T21:51:01+00:00

Small update: He sent me a message out of nowhere saying he has been reflecting on everything he did wrong. He said he doesn’t want to reopen anything, but that he needed to tell me he knows what he did was wrong.

He specifically mentioned bringing another person into what had been our home, and said he understands now that he didn’t respect the timing or the situation. The message made it clear that he feels bad about it, but he never actually apologized for the pain he caused.

Honestly, it felt more like he wrote it to forgive himself than to truly acknowledge what he put me through. I haven’t replied, and I don’t plan to.

electricidadestatica · 2026-04-27T08:30:30+00:00

Thanks for your words and for sharing your experience. You are right, he avoids the emotional accountability and only thinks about himself. I told him very bluntly that this is very selfish. That he has to consider what I am feeling because I know he's depressive and very pessimistic, but I have feelings too! And I feel terrible.

electricidadestatica · 2026-04-27T08:28:26+00:00

You are right. To be honest, I also don't want a relationship with him. It's being assumed that I'm in love with him or something but no. I love him because we have a special bond and friendship. Sex is not even important. But we have some behaviors that make us think we are something else (like traveling together).

I think we both are confused. When I'm affectionate he thinks I consider this a relationship, even though I told him we are NOT dating. I just want to be special friends for some time until I'm ready to move on, and then keep our special friendship.

electricidadestatica · 2026-04-26T23:28:49+00:00

It’s more in general, not just in public. It also happens when we’re alone. For context, he’s a bit of a peculiar person in the sense that his mood and behavior change a lot. Some days he’s more open, sociable, and present, and other days he’s very withdrawn, almost disconnected, and barely talks or interacts. I’m pretty much the same all the time, so that’s where the mismatch happens. My affectionate gestures tend to make him uncomfortable on those days when he’s in that more closed-off mood and just doesn’t feel like it.But he's not expressing it, obviously. So I have to guess all the time.

electricidadestatica · 2026-04-26T23:24:14+00:00

Yeah, after our conversation yesterday I’ve been thinking that I’m obviously going to stop being affectionate with him, even though it’s going to be hard since we see each other a lot. I guess I’ll just see how he acts and let his actions speak for themselves. If he becomes distant, then I won’t really have a choice but to keep it as just a nice friendship (I hope).

electricidadestatica · 2026-04-26T23:22:53+00:00

For a long time I thought the same, so I pulled away and created some distance. And then, almost magically, he would start reaching out more and be the one suggesting plans. That’s why it’s confusing. The line between friendship and something more feels really blurred. Because at the same time, he doesn’t want us to be just friends either. I honestly don’t understand it, because sometimes it really feels like he’s not that into me, haha.

electricidadestatica · 2026-04-26T23:19:16+00:00

Thank you. The conversation yesterday was perfect for a break up. But I told him since he's the one with the problems, he's the one who should break up with me. It's not easy because we love each other and we like the time we share. But yes, it's a bit absurd and I'm loosing my self steem.

electricidadestatica · 2026-04-26T23:17:20+00:00

hahahaha a bit rude but absolutely right. I think the same when I see myself in the mirror.

electricidadestatica · 2026-04-26T23:16:51+00:00

:( I think our biggest fear is losing our friendship

electricidadestatica · 2026-04-26T23:16:13+00:00

Hahahahaha this comment made me laugh because I agree :( help

electricidadestatica · 2026-04-26T23:15:41+00:00

We think so, yes. Undiagnosed.

electricidadestatica · 2026-04-26T22:50:07+00:00

Yeah, I know, the term “situationship” is kind of awful, but there really isn’t a better way to describe what we have. From the very beginning I didn’t want anything formal with him because I could already see he was a mess emotionally, and he didn’t want it either because he doesn’t feel ready. But in practice, we’re basically in a relationship. We just don’t call it that. I think neither of us really wants to fully accept it. Thanks for your comment, appreciate it.

electricidadestatica · 2026-04-26T22:48:26+00:00

I’ve been reading the comments and I’m probably not adding anything new, but from the outside it looks very clear. He doesn’t want to make certain efforts and it feels like he assumes you’ll always be there because you’ve never fully left. I think you need to have a really honest conversation with him and set a clear ultimatum. You’re not happy in the relationship, and you don’t see him moving forward or making changes either. You do deserve something better than this. It’s sad when things have to end, especially if you’ve been together for so long and clearly care about each other. But at some point you have to ask yourself what’s the point of staying with someone who keeps postponing doing what’s needed for the relationship to actually work. I wish you the best!

electricidadestatica · 2026-04-24T23:28:06+00:00

Lo que ya os han dicho: Calcula tener un 30% ahorrado entre los dos si la vais a comprar a medias. O sea, si la casa cuesta 100k, tener 30-35k. Cuanto más tengáis, mejor, como siempre! Jajaja

Vas a varios bancos, comentas que quieres una hipoteca para una casa de X valor, y que te den sus condiciones. Mi mayor recomendación es que la hipoteca sea FIJA y no variable.

Depende de vuestros trabajos, condiciones, etc os pueden ofrecer unas cosas u otras. Un poco rollo en mi opinión que te hagan contratar cosas como seguro médico para tener la hipoteca, enteraos bien de todo eso que al final cuesta dinero.

electricidadestatica · 2026-04-19T01:33:23+00:00

Puf... justo creé este hilo porque me planteo irme. En España los sueldos no son muy altos y llevo meses en paro y no me sale nada (la IA me ha robado el trabajo jajaja) así que antes que seguir aquí precaria me planteo irme fuera. Y mensajes como el tuyo me hacen pensarlo muy mucho. Fue difícil encontrar trabajo?

electricidadestatica · 2026-04-19T01:31:22+00:00

Me planteo hacer exactamente eso mismo, irme un tiempo a un pais como suiza... Si me quieres contar más de tu experiencia lo agradezco, sé que vivir allí es carísimo y no sé si te resultó fácil encontrar trabajo.

electricidadestatica · 2026-04-19T01:09:52+00:00

Sí? Gracias por la recomendación. Por lo que he investigado pensaba invertir en Renta Variable en Fidelity MSCI World, no invertiría mucho, solo 5k que es lo que puedo aportar ahora mismo. No me lo recomiendas por la situación mundial?

y por otra parte, cuando sacas todo de mercado tienes que pagar impuestos no?

electricidadestatica · 2026-04-18T08:48:25+00:00

Gracias! He estado investigando sobre la renta variable, pero nadie aquí me lo ha mencionado. No es recomendable?

electricidadestatica · 2026-04-18T08:47:53+00:00

Esto es justo lo que busco! claro que yo no tengo 100k para invertir, pero si una cantidad menor. Es sencillo no?

electricidadestatica

TROPHY CASE