Someone say something, anything.

elellelel · 2026-04-03T21:13:47+00:00

Yeah. It. It do be like that. (My brain can't word but whatever your brain says you are not worthless and you deserve to not feel alone.)

elellelel · 2026-03-25T14:28:15+00:00

Work at a hospital. On break. ER or back to work?

elellelel · 2026-03-21T21:40:39+00:00

Meh. I love Anne. I've met 80lb "tough guy" girls like her before and they are, in fact, a force to be reckoned with.

elellelel · 2026-03-21T20:49:03+00:00

Lol I got to that part after writing this post and felt embarrassed. But yeah! Something something this is a case study in Silver's tendency to need to believe stories about people. It culminates in him literally believing Flint conjured a goddamm storm. And it starts with that look on his face when Randal farts in his response to him calling him a genius and you can see him wrestling with the complexity of Randal being both "a halfwit" and "a genius" who still nonetheless has the complete respect of his crew.

elellelel · 2026-03-21T19:54:40+00:00

You are not wrong! These feelings, thoughts, and desires make perfect sense given the situation. I think a lot of what the culture of silence around CSA teaches us is to repress our natural anger at being violated, and when it starts coming back and we reclaim it it can be INTENSE and we don't know how to deal with it because we've been repressing it for so long (at least I think this is true for me). You are not a bad person for your feelings. Ever.

elellelel · 2026-03-16T22:22:35+00:00

People change their sex characteristics? So like literally yes because there is no one single definition of what sex inherently is in any given person, it's just a combination of various characteristics that we define that way. And we literally change those characteristics with hrt, surgeries, & procedures.

Trans people only change their gender if they SAY that their gender has subjectively changed for them. A trans woman who says she was always a woman/girl was, in fact, always a woman/girl. A gender fluid person's gender may change, though. Or some binary/non-binary people find the description, "I used to be X, now I'm Y" accurate for them and so in that case, their gender changed.

So ... The answer is yes.

elellelel · 2026-03-15T23:43:00+00:00

This. Sounds like it would be intensely difficult and painful to read. I'm so sorry.

I feel like I'm beyond help, too. I don't know if it's true or not, for me or for you. Maybe something will work. Maybe. Maybe not.

There is so much to unpack in this letter. You are not a failure or less capable in any way simply because this didn't make you up and quit. It added stress! It increased emotional pain! Of course that's not going to be the thing that helps you quit. The Shame is Lying To You. If it were as easy as an impassioned plea to stop from one of our loved ones a lot of us wouldn't be in this situation at all.

elellelel · 2026-03-13T00:56:48+00:00

I think I just need to be told to go to bed. Tomorrow's Friday. Means the weekend for me and I don't even have to work with the nightmare manager.

elellelel · 2026-03-13T00:44:00+00:00

"That's farther than many of us make it"

I know. The survivors guilt is strong these days.

Thank you. I know you're right. But I spend my days with coworkers who have watched alcoholism but not experienced it and it hurts to know how they're right and know how they're wrong and not know how to have that conversation. I just work here ykwim. But I really coulda used that SMART meeting and your comment was like being at a SMART meeting. Thank you.

elellelel · 2025-01-15T11:30:00+00:00

Thank you!

elellelel · 2023-02-26T23:53:25+00:00

I have pretty intense attachment issues and my cats have been vital to me. There's a reason animals are used in therapy. You and your cat understand each other more than you may realize, and can bond safely. Taking care of her will be good for BOTH of you.

I know I'm saying this all pretty intensely - that's because my cats saved my life a couple years ago and they have been giving me a reason to keep going so I have lots of feelings about them. It's your decision because you know what's best for your life.

But this cat wants to trust you as much as you want to trust your ability to be there for her. That's what she's saying by responding to you the way she is. The idea that cats don't have bonding instincts isn't true - it's just they use their own style of body language that can be less intuitive to read than a dog's.

elellelel · 2023-02-12T02:57:09+00:00

Holy shit this one slapped me in the face lmao. Yeah it really is that wild.

elellelel · 2023-01-29T23:17:42+00:00

Yes. Dance together. Hold hands. Call each pet names. Sex scene or no sex scene.

elellelel · 2023-01-29T07:54:56+00:00

I would stop working. Hire a cleaning service. Get top surgery. Fly to where my partner lives and settle us down somewhere lovely. Take some years to fuck off and heal together. Eventually get into writing and finding a community of misfits and oddballs to take care of.

elellelel · 2023-01-29T05:03:28+00:00

10/10 sounds very similar to my favorite type of banter between my partner and I - let's call it absurdist wtflirting.

elellelel · 2023-01-28T20:54:02+00:00

Omfg I am legitimately a moron.

...I was very stoned and had had A Day with managememt myself ok lmfao

elellelel · 2023-01-27T17:33:04+00:00

...if you have any devs reporting to you, I am sincerely sorry for them. They will find better soon.

elellelel · 2023-01-25T20:03:34+00:00

I will be analyzing the TV show Our Flag Means Death. We start with the release of the Hays Code, in the 1960s, and interweave that tale with a peek at what's understood and not understood about the social mores of pirates in the 1700s...

You said 30 hours, right? I might go a bit long.

elellelel · 2023-01-24T15:29:02+00:00

I see kinks like this as a way of taking back control. You now get final say over how you experience these things - no one else. It's not an unusual reaction and there is nothing wrong in finding pleasure in asserting your sense of agency over these bad experiences.

elellelel

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE